New Registry Allows Engaged Same-Sex Couples To Choose Which Christian Florist To Put Out Of Business By Jim Feb 17 2017 The registry, called ASSIMIL8, provides gay couples with a list of business owners whose privately held personal beliefs may reflect traditional Christian views on marriage. The excited fiancés can then pick whose lives they want to totally destroy with a lengthy and frivolous lawsuit, as they anticipate their cheerful nuptials.Tags: FloristsSatireHumorBabylon Bee 992 reads
If God Is Both All-Good And All-Powerful, Why Did He Allow The Star Wars Prequels? By TylerR Feb 10 2017 Babylon Bee: Either he was powerful enough to stop the Star Wars prequels from happening and didn’t, meaning he can’t possibly be all-good—or else he wanted the prequels stopped and couldn’t do it, meaning he can’t possibly be all-powerful. Tags: Babylon BeeSatire 3902 reads
Demon Appears On Church Stage As Drum Set Introduced By TylerR Jan 14 2017 Babylon Bee: “I always said that instrument of evil would get us into trouble,” longtime church member Helen Van Wagner told reporters. Tags: Babylon BeeSatireMusic 1139 reads
Landscaper Accidentally Trims Church’s Hedge Of Protection By TylerR Dec 30 2016 Babylon Bee: The mishap reportedly occurred sometime late Wednesday afternoon, when the company sent a maintenance team to perform the usual weekly lawn and planter upkeep. Tags: Babylon BeeSatire 967 reads
Church Honors Birth Of Jesus By Canceling Worship Service By TylerR Dec 24 2016 Babylon Bee: We want to show respect and adoration to our Lord on the day commemorating His birth,” pastor Kyle Redding told reporters. “So we’ll be calling off all the services in which we usually sing praises to Him and study His Word, in order that He’ll be more glorified. Tags: Babylon BeeSatire 1118 reads
Local Family Inadvertently Prints Imprecatory Psalm On Christmas Cards By TylerR Dec 16 2016 Babylon Bee: The Fullers plan to use a New Testament verse next year, to avoid a similar problem. “We’ll pick something Jesus said—he always spoke kind words of gentleness,” Jim noted. Tags: Babylon BeeSatire 1583 reads
Trump’s Win Causes Rapture Delay By Jim Nov 10 2016 Thanks to Franklin Graham, Jerry Falwell, Jr. and a several thousand “prayer warriors,” God Almighty decided to allow the election of Donald Trump and put off The Rapture until the next Democrat is elected to the White House. Tags: Satire 1706 reads
Jen Hatmaker Lands New HGTV Show Renovating Biblical Doctrine By Jim Nov 04 2016 Jen Hatmaker Lands New HGTV Show Renovating Biblical Doctrine Tags: Jen HatmakerSatire 1163 reads
