Babylon Bee: Cameron plays a reprogrammed sleeper assassin employed by Focus on the Family who suffers amnesia and must discover why his fellow superspies working for Dr. James Dobson want him dead. Realizing he was developed into a secret weapon in a clandestine evangelism program for $30 million, Cameron finds himself on the run ...
Babylon Bee: “My current working theory is that this digital landscape spontaneously created itself around 20 billion years ago, with no input from any kind of magic game designer in the sky,” he told a gathering of villagers in a coffee shop. “The evidence of order and tightly designed game mechanisms are merely random, chaotic patterns. Your lives are all meaningless.”
Babylon Bee: “Despite my previous belief that we must slay the infidel in the name of Allah until Islam rules the world, I just can’t deny that Katy’s words have touched my heart,” al-Baghdadi said as he symbolically held up and then tossed an AK-47 onto the ground. “It is time for the mujahideen to start uniting and loving on people.” See Katy Perry's remarks here.
Babylon Bee: Wilson, who was recently diagnosed with pneumonia, told sources it is very important that her doctor share her values of openness and acceptance that all medical paths will bring her to wellness. She hopes to find a physician who is not so arrogant as to insist there is only one way to cure her illness.