Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee (***SATIRE***): The Church of the Prophetic Word was sorely disappointed to discover an individual believed to be speaking in tongues was actually just a Hungarian exchange student, sources confirmed Wednesday.

Adam Ford: “People in the church put too much emphasis on ‘being nice,’ at the expense of the truth,” he said. “There are big, weighty, eternally important things being played out every single day, as my anxiety constantly reminds me. … Wrapping the message in humor helps its reception sometimes.”

Babylon Bee (***SATIRE***): Gibson’s steadfastness was reportedly put to the test Sunday when his pastor suggested he wasn’t entirely sure about the existence of the plenary genitive.

Babylon Bee (satire): Children at First Baptist Church Of Auburn were reportedly awed and excited Sunday morning to learn about Jesus’ first recorded miracle, wherein the Savior instantly transformed over a hundred gallons of water into delicious grape juice.

Babyon Bee (***SATIRE***): As the divisive election season rages on, one small town minister remembers a simpler time … A time when folks didn’t show their great disdain for the Lord Jesus, but instead learned to hide it under a thin veneer of morality as America pretended to be a Christian nation.

Babylon Bee (satire): Want to know what I’m incredibly tired of? Christians speaking out against felony home invasion. I’ll never understand why self-described “followers of Christ” feel so comfortable rallying around a topic that Jesus never even mentioned.

Babylon Bee (satire): SOMEWHERE IN IRAQ—Stating that he “just doesn’t feel like [he’s] being fed” by the persecuted underground church he’s been attending for the past three years, local man Saleem Haddad reported Wednesday that he’s planning on trying out a competing church just 30 miles across a deadly patch of open desert that is covered with live explosives.

Babylon Bee (satire): After reading all the buzz about the recently released Logos 7 Bible Software and deciding he needed to get it in order to fully immerse himself in God’s word, Pastor Richard Fields of First Baptist Church took out a second loan on his modest home to foot the bill, sources reported Thursday

Babylon Bee (satire): Turner also expressed reservations about the church’s worship style and its effect on his millennial peers. Drawing on his recent five-page research paper, he also suggested Eastern Orthodoxy’s ancient liturgy has much to offer in this regard.

A report that the Elevation Church had installed a water slide to speed up baptisms originated with a satirical site.

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