Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee (satire!): “Conventional scholarship has attributed the paper I wrote to me, sometime in 2011 CE. But approached critically, it’s evident another author wrote the paper I wrote and later attributed it to me in order for its controversial ideas to gain acceptance,” Burg wrote in a summary statement.

Babylon Bee (satire): Tilson says he is still confident he’ll see the youngster again at some point later this year. “Give the kid some time,” he added. “We’re confident he’ll be in professional shape by Christmas season at the latest.”

Babylon Bee (satire): When asked if, despite their softened message, the group still confirms that submitting to Islam is the only way to Allah, al Hassan refused to be pinned down.“We’re all on journey together, and maybe slaughtering infidels by the thousands is right to me—but is it right for you? That’s a question only you and Allah can answer together.”

Babylon Bee (satire): When asked by one aging member of the congregation if he’d get to meet the new pastor “on this side of glory,” Mr. Reynolds simply smiled and said, “Good things come to those who wait.”