Should Pastors Rebuke Parishioners from the Pulpit?

Advice given to me decades ago (from a business man):

• Praise a person publicly
• Criticize a person privately

Vince Lombardi: “Praise in public; criticize in private.”

Was a master at dealing with people and personalities. That is why his players loved him to death.

Would that many would learn from his example!

This guy’s actions are the reason the pulpit is sometimes called the Coward’s Castle.

Hmmm. So the liberals say Yes, and the conservatives say No.

I watched the full video when this story hit a few months ago. When you do so it is obvious to me at least that this pastor cares for the people in the congregation. He knows the names of the people…do you?

Alright, was this the best way to reach some of the situations? Well…perhaps. One of the people he called out was a woman who was engaged to a man that was perhaps a serious problem for her. She was blinded by love (I’m inferring from his comments), and he was sitting there that day faking that he cared about God and church. So he called the guy out. IF I WAS GOING INTO THAT BIG OF A DITCH, I would want desperate help from someone who loved me. I’m sure he had been counseling them, but that day he felt he needed to ramp it up.

He also calls out the video director for slacking off during the service. I have seen this before at churches I have attended. You go to use the bathroom and some staff are laughing it up out in the hall…It is public knowledge that staff are acting inappropriately. Then he calls out the staff member’s mom reminding her that he is the guy’s boss and he needs to correct him without her interference. Tough love…but maybe it was needed.

Those are the main ones that I remember, but as I recall there was at least one other that I couldn’t justify.

EDIT: I remember now there was one where he tells a wife to back her husband more on his decisions…that is a little close to home, but it can be that it is public info that she belittles the man, for example.

How he should have done it:

• Woman who was engaged to a man …
  • Over the course of the year, there are ample opportunities to teach on Biblical principles of courtship and dating (Ephesians, et cetera). Most engagements last long enough that a couple would be exposed to this content more than once!
  • His wife could have had a one on one lunch with the bride to be to privately discuss concerns
  • And if he was to be the wedding officiant, he could address privately in pre-marital counseling
• the video director for slacking off during the service …
  • If an employee, he could have easily addressed either in a staff meeting or one on one
  • If not an employee, he could have (depending on how the church is either organized or disorganized!) had a deacon address the issue privately with the man. Or he could have met with the man prior to or after a service or one on one over coffee or lunch

My guess is that most pastors of churches w under 500 in attendance know the names of most attendees. In churches of 200 or less this is much easier.

My own pastor, (our church runs 600ish) appears to know everyones’ name. I would guess that when it comes to kids that he may not know all.

not 6,000,000

[Mark_Smith]

I watched the full video when this story hit a few months ago. When you do so it is obvious to me at least that this pastor cares for the people in the congregation. He knows the names of the people…do you?

Alright, was this the best way to reach some of the situations? Well…perhaps. One of the people he called out was a woman who was engaged to a man that was perhaps a serious problem for her. She was blinded by love (I’m inferring from his comments), and he was sitting there that day faking that he cared about God and church. So he called the guy out. IF I WAS GOING INTO THAT BIG OF A DITCH, I would want desperate help from someone who loved me. I’m sure he had been counseling them, but that day he felt he needed to ramp it up.

He also calls out the video director for slacking off during the service. I have seen this before at churches I have attended. You go to use the bathroom and some staff are laughing it up out in the hall…It is public knowledge that staff are acting inappropriately. Then he calls out the staff member’s mom reminding her that he is the guy’s boss and he needs to correct him without her interference. Tough love…but maybe it was needed.

Those are the main ones that I remember, but as I recall there was at least one other that I couldn’t justify.

EDIT: I remember now there was one where he tells a wife to back her husband more on his decisions…that is a little close to home, but it can be that it is public info that she belittles the man, for example.

Mark, his motives MIGHT have been good, but this was certainly not the right method of addressing these issues. At best, he was doing personal counseling from the pulpit when he should have been preaching God’s Word. At worst, he is a gossiping megalomaniac who is terrorizing God’s flock. The middle ground of those two options is still quite unappealing.

Saying “I love you” or forcing someone to hug you does not engender love or affection if it is preceded by poison. I’ve seen the follow-up interviews that this guy has given….he claims that this is regularly how he “preaches” to his church. He claims that he is doing exactly what he should be doing and he is completely unrepentant or understanding of how his “sermon” could be taken. If thousands of people misinterpret your actions (however well-motivated they might be), it would be wise to reconsider your ways.

If that is customary “preaching”, then he is unfit to preach and he is unfit to shepherd.

When you do so it is obvious to me at least that this pastor cares for the people in the congregation. He knows the names of the people…do you?

Haven’t seen the video yet - don’t really want to, either - but I have to ask…is he really concerned about the flock or is he just mad that people aren’t paying attention to him? The tenor of the post I read seems like it’s really more about him being angry that people are sleeping in his message than it is about ‘correcting the flock’.

Furthermore - we’re supposed to restore erring brothers in a spirit of meekness (Gal. 6:1). This sounds more like someone bringing the hammer than being meek and under control.

If you are going to judge the guy, watch the entire sermon that is the vimeo link, not just the youtube video. It is charismatic and he gives a prophecy to the boy he later yells at for sleeping. All I’m saying is don’t fall for the youtube video alone. I’m not saying he did everything how I would do it. All I’m saying is to not fall for the world’s edit either.

1 Timothy 5:20
20 As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.

“Elders” are to be rebuked publicly. I Timothy 5:19-20

Does anyone suppose this pastor(?) had gone to these people he loves so much in private and then with others before brining the matter to the church?

[Ron Bean]

“Elders” are to be rebuked publicly. I Timothy 5:19-20

Does anyone suppose this pastor(?) had gone to these people he loves so much in private and then with others before brining the matter to the church?

It doesn’t seem as if he talked to him privately first…

“The man sitting with his fiancee who had been called “not worth 15 cents” – Ryan Underwood — had missed a few weeks of church and endured the criticism of his absence “out of respect for my family,” Tulsa World reported.

Standridge after rebuking Underwood said he “loved these kids,” hugged the man and shook his hand.

Underwood said he “felt pretty out of place after that” and noted he had not attended the church again since that service.

“The Bible says if you have a problem with your brother, go to him in private first,” Underwood said, according to Tulsa World.”

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/07/04/baptist-preacher-responds-to…

[Mark_Smith]

If you are going to judge the guy, watch the entire sermon that is the vimeo link, not just the youtube video. It is charismatic and he gives a prophecy to the boy he later yells at for sleeping. All I’m saying is don’t fall for the youtube video alone. I’m not saying he did everything how I would do it. All I’m saying is to not fall for the world’s edit either.

Mark, the “pastor” is quite pleased with the reaction to the video. He endorses the content of the shorter “viral” clip. He thinks it’s funny (www.tulsaworld.com/article.aspx/Skiatook_pstor_responds_to_rant_that_we… ) . I don’t have to listen to an hour of his verbal excrement to know that I disagree with his 5 minute diatribe against his congregation. If he stands by that 5 minutes (and says that he sees nothing wrong with it) then he has informed us of the context quite adequately.

He also personally told one of the recipients of his wrath that the public rebuke was an “anointing from the Lord” (http://www.tulsaworld.com/article.aspx/Skiatook_pstor_responds_to_rant_… ). This is a deranged man…perhaps on the verge of senility…that is claiming that his vitriol is a direct message from God. I find that to border on blasphemy.

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/07/04/baptist-preacher-responds-to… - primary source for the links.