Pastors

Read Part 1

Proposition #2: Her ministry responsibilities within the assembly are of the same nature as those of every other woman in the church.

I believe sufficient light shines from at least two passages of Scripture to confirm this proposition.

Older women … are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled (Tit. 2:3-5).

Paul’s admonition indicates that the task of the pastor’s wife, even when viewed from the context of the local church, is to grow in godly character and to cultivate a proper relationship with her husband and children. As regards teaching in the assembly, she is to be encouraged to instruct the younger women. But interestingly enough, this particular admonition from Paul indicates that the young pastor should perceive his wife as a student of the older women in the church before she qualifies as a teacher of adult women.

Yet, sadly, it is not unprecedented for a twenty-five-year-old woman to be immediately collared with the responsibility to serve as primary teacher of, and counselor to, the women of her church or even for her husband to resent the fact that a much older woman in the assembly does not willingly yield this position to the pastor’s wife. Although no one would even think to entrust such a responsibility to any other woman of similar age, this great expectation is placed upon her by mere virtue of the fact that she is married to the pastor. We should recognize, vis-a-vis the common practice, that it is not at all wrong for the younger pastor’s wife to enter the church as a learner. In fact, Paul’s instructions to Titus seem to assume this for the case of a young pastor’s wife. The women of the church should seek her counsel and encourage her instruction because they have come over time to discern that she is a wise woman, not merely because she is married to the pastor.

What Is a Pastor’s Wife Supposed to Do?

Shepherding the flock of God can prove one of the most exciting, enriching, and satisfying duties a man can undertake on this side of heaven. Yet shepherding the flock of God is not a particularly safe enterprise. It is a life-work that exposes the man of God to a multiplicity of trials, deep disappointments, searing heartaches, and haunting questions from within and without.

The pastor serves God’s people as leader, preacher, teacher, counselor, overseer and chief intercessor. He must perform spiritual surgery and apply healing balm to the souls of his people on a daily basis. And in all of this, the undershepherd bears the unrelenting burden of his accountability to the Lord of the universe for the spiritual watchcare of a flock for whom the Good Shepherd laid down His own life.

Brothers, we are not sufficient for these things, and we know it. A proud pastor is an oxymoron—or a moronic ox, if you will. None of us is either worthy or capable of such an undertaking. But God is rich in mercy. Jesus has sent the Comforter to aid us in our frailty—to counsel, encourage, strengthen and help us in the great cause to which we have been called. And for most pastors, God also graciously provides a human helper—a woman—to walk at her husband’s side as his covenant helper in this grand mission to exercise stewardship of God’s flock.

The pastor’s wife is certainly a rare species with a very peculiar calling. She is one flesh with the pastor. And if he is worthy of the title, this means she is one flesh with a difficult man. If she is worthy of her calling, it also means she has laid down the “normal life” on the altar and slit its throat in sacrifice to God.

Originallly appeared at Whirled Views, June 2009. Read Part 1.

Originallly appeared at Whirled Views, June 2009

In the last week I’ve spent time talking with three pastors who are about ready to throw in the proverbial towel. Each case is different and no two pastors, churches, boards or any other “part” of church leadership is exactly the same, but what is common among them is a sense of deep despair. Sadly, in the last week I’ve also heard of two colleagues in the ministry who ended their ministry with a catastrophic failure—one of them a rising evangelical leader who admitted to an affair. Not in every case, but in some cases, I’ve noticed a correlation to the thought processes between those who burnout in ministry and those who “flame out” due to sin. But whether you burnout, flame out, drop out or rust out—out is still out.

I am now two years beyond my own decision to step away from the senior pastorate, so I hope I can be a bit more objective about a topic like this than I might have been twenty-four short months ago. As for my own situation, I had my own reasons for changing the nature of my ministry and I am not looking back. For the cynical or others, nothing I write in this article should be construed as anything more or less than what it is—an opinion piece from someone who has sat on both sides of the pulpit for the last twenty-five years of ministry and who is still engaged in pastoral ministry—just from a different perspective in recent months.

I don’t pretend to write for every pastor out there, but I spend a lot of time with pastors and former pastors. There are some trends that are impacting pastoral leadership at this time that I think impact churches and their leaders. There are some frailties and vulnerabilities that any man called to be a pastor is naturally going to carry into his responsibilities. Add to that the spiritual warfare that is incumbent upon being a spiritual shepherd (or undershepherd). It is with these realities in mind that I offer some things that I’m guessing your pastor wishes you knew about him.

A Conference Ministry to Pastors

I first heard about the Conference on the Church for God’s Glory in 2005 and decided to attend. I found the experience of this small but high-quality, one-day conference to have an extraordinary cost-benefit ratio. After attending again in 2008, I felt keenly that too few people knew about this small gem of an event, and I wanted to know a little more about the thinking that goes into it.

Assembled with the realization that most pastors are overworked and underappreciated

In my mind and heart, a special place is reserved for heroes of the faith. While Christians are certainly not to seek applause and publicity for charitable acts and contributions to the Lord’s ministry, God’s choice servants deserve recognition and appreciation for working well and diligently for the Lord.