Humility in a Self-Focused World

By Kim Kelly

Turn on your computer, and you will find all the help you need to become a completely self-focused person. You will see titles and headlines such as “Prioritize You! Here’s How to Focus on Yourself,” “How to Focus on Yourself More and Prioritize Your Own Needs,” “8 Easy to Build Healthy Self-Focus Habits,” “Small, But Powerful Steps to Love Yourself.”

There is no shortage of self-help books to ensure you get the most out of what life offers you. You can build a man-cave or she-shed to make sure you get enough “me-time” without anyone bothering you. You can take a full day out and have a spa day to pamper yourself all day. Join any social media platform and build your self-worth by increasing your friends list and gaining likes and followers. The list goes on and on.

According to Healthline, “Focusing on yourself isn’t selfish. It’s an act of self-love.”¹ Self-focus has become a sort of virtue. It is a way to show the world that you have reached a special level of personhood. What should a Christian do in a self-absorbed, self-focused world? How will we look different? What would be the complete opposite for us? The answer is simple but not easy! Self-focus would become others-focused. We would turn our thoughts away from ourselves. The best way to focus on others, rather than on ourselves, is through the practice of humility.

According to Webster’s 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language, “humility consists in lowliness of mind; a deep sense of one’s own unworthiness in the sight of God, self-abasement, penitence for sin, and submission to the divine will.” Such a tall order! So, where do we turn for help with this? We turn to the only “self-help” book we need… God’s Holy Word. The words “humble” and “humility,” along with their synonyms “meek” and “meekness,” are used in Scripture over 100 times. A study of those would be a great place to start in learning what this character trait looks like. Of course, our best and perfect model is Jesus Himself. In Philippians 2, we are given His example and a clear picture of what true humility looks like. Christ’s humility led Him to death on the cross. As fallen creatures, we will never attain perfect humility as Christ did. That does not, however, free us of the responsibility to strive for it. The trick is that once you think you have finally achieved it, you’ve lost it. So, is it a hopeless or futile pursuit? Absolutely not! All pursuits of holiness are worth the time, energy, and thought processes. In fact, holiness in all things is our goal (1Pe 1:15).

If humility is to be the opposition to self-focus, then it stands to reason that it will lead to others-focus. Philippians 2:3 states, “Doing nothing from selfish ambition or vain glory, but with humility of mind regarding one another as more important than yourselves.” How contrary to what the world teaches. We are to regard others as more important than ourselves. As Scripture is so good at doing, it has flipped the usual understanding on its head. Why would we want to regard others as more important than ourselves? Why would we put others first in our thoughts, activities, and service? The fear in doing that is that people will take advantage of you.

You will become a doormat. You will get nowhere in life. While I would love to come along and say that these things are invalid and wouldn’t happen, I can’t do that. In this fallen world, you may be taken advantage of, made into a doormat by others, and unable to climb the corporate ladder in your workplace. But be of good cheer. Those are not the things that truly matter! What does matter is our standing with God. What does matter is our opportunities to display His glory, not ours. In being humble others will clearly see a difference. You will not look like the world around you, and God will be glorified!

But, in God’s ever-amazing ways, there will also be benefits and blessings for us. Just keep reading through those many Scripture references about our topic here. You will see a beautiful list begin to form of God’s blessings for humility.

First, much-needed grace will be given. In the Old Testament, the wisdom of Solomon is seen when he says, “Though He scoffs at the scoffers, Yet He gives grace to the humble” (Pr 3:34). James then quotes this verse in his discussion on drawing near to God. He tells us, “But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, ‘God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (Jas 4:6). First Peter 5:5 echoes this: “You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders. And all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” The favor of God given to us is a blessing beyond description. Who would be what they are without God’s grace in their lives? Knowing that this humbling of self is necessary before receiving that grace should spur us on to continual striving for that elusive character trait of humility.

Second, we must remember that a humble spirit is the one God will look to as His dwelling place. The prophet Isaiah tells us, “…to this one I will look, to him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word (Isa 66:2).” A genuine understanding of Who God is and then who we are should send us to the proper place. As John Calvin states, “Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God.”² To see God in His glory and learn about Him can only bring us to that place that Noah Webster mentioned in his definition. It should bring us to a lowliness of mind. We will have a deep sense of our unworthiness because we will see how very worthy God is and God alone. To be penitent for the sins we commit before a perfectly holy God should immediately bring us to our knees. The lower we are, the more clearly we can see God. This is the essence of true humility. A correct view of self. A correct view of God. This is humility.

Third, God’s promised blessings of riches, glory, and life (Pr 22:4) can only be given to a humble person because that person will understand and appreciate them correctly. The riches, glory, and life that He gives will be for those of a heavenly mind. It is not a promise of money and wealth here. It is not a prosperity gospel promise. It is a promise of blessing in all the ways that really and truly matter in this earthly life and eternal life with God. What rich blessings are ours when we truly humble ourselves before the Lord!

So, in this pursuit of humility, we will begin to see God as we should when we see ourselves as we are. That should pave the way for a life of service. What person who realizes their own lowliness would not want to serve others? We can see that clearly in Mark 10:44, “and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all.” Slave of all? This, dear reader would take great humility. We go back to the fears of how others would treat us. Does Scripture call us to be a doormat? No! Nothing so worthy or lofty! We are called to be slaves. We are called to a life of serving others. When we continue to the next verse in Mark 10, we see why this must be the case. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Mk 10:45). In our lowly state of mind, we always look to God and the example Christ set for us. We see His life of service and the end of this life of service when He became “obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Php 2:8). We have no other path to take. We must walk in all humility of mind and heart and live the life God has called us to live.

This may lead to the question, “Okay then, in what ways should I, personally, serve?” Well, for each person, that is going to be different. It will depend on your family situation, whether married or single, whether you are a parent or not, whether you are younger or older. It will depend on your health situation and how much physical strength you have. It will depend on where you live, where you work, where you go to church. Search the Scriptures for ways the Lord will show you in His word. When we genuinely seek Him for opportunities to serve others, they will come out of the woodwork!

In a world so focused on self, a humble servant will stick out like a sore thumb. Everything about us will be different. In the first place, it won’t have to be about us. We won’t need the world to revolve around us and our needs; we certainly will not be our number one priority. God will be. We will seek Him and what He has for us daily. Does this mean that we will never do anything for ourselves? I don’t believe that it does. It just will change what types of things we enjoy. God has even given plenty of examples of rest in Scripture. We need to take time away and re-focus on Him. Enjoyable things like a man-cave or a spa day are not evil in and of themselves. But when they are due to our pride and sense of self-worth and entitlement, they become a root of evil, as all pride becomes. When we are so busy seeing to our own perceived needs that we can no longer see the needs of others, then we know we have gone too far.

To be humble in a self-focused world will prove to be very challenging. The world will not want to see someone who views others as more important than themselves. It will make them feel bad about themselves, and they don’t want that at all. They will fight you. The headlines will call your name. The “tips” for self-love and self-focus will be in your face time and time again. You will feel the pull towards self-centered thinking and activities. We must spend time with God to keep our focus on God and not on self. Deep time in His Word and getting to know Him more and more will be the only way we can keep the proper view of ourselves as we improve our view of Him daily. A constant falling on our knees in humble contrition and penitence before a Holy God will begin to align our sights with where God wants them to be. He wants us to be focused on Him. He wants us to bring glory to Him. He wants us to see Him, know Him, and display Him to others. After all, He is what this life is all about! To be truly humble in a self-focused world is to focus on Christ!