Disagreeing, with Grace (Part 2)

By Kurt Seboe. Read Part 1.

In Romans 14:1-15:13, Paul addressed the believers in Rome, who were divided into two groups: the “strong” and the “weak.” He urged both groups to accept and reconcile with one another despite their differing beliefs about non-essential practices. Paul explained that those considered “weak in faith” were not necessarily immature believers; instead, they were individuals whose faith restricted certain actions, such as eating meat or observing partic­ular holy days. He advised the “strong” believers to limit their freedoms out of love for the “weak” to avoid causing them spiritual harm.

So, what was Paul’s solution to bind these two potential factions together? His answer was love, not law.⁴ The apostle Paul provides guidance on this issue, beginning in Romans 14:1, where he instructed the church to “Welcome him…” In Romans 15:7, Paul reiterated this point, comparing the welcome of others to how Christ has welcomed us. He emphasized that the purpose of this action is “for the glory of God.” Given this complex yet necessary background, we should listen to God as He teaches us how to disagree with other Christians regarding disputable matters. The stakes are high, and we must internalize these principles to foster unity and joy in our churches.⁵

Paul advised the “strong” believers to limit their freedoms out of love for the “weak” to avoid causing them spiritual harm. This passage can be organized into three key sections that guide dis­agreements over disputable matters:

1. Welcome one another (14:1-12).
2. Strong Christians, do not cause your brother or sister to stumble (14:13-23).
3. Strong Christians, build up your brother or sister (15:1-7).

When communicating with others, Naselli/Crowley instructs that we must understand that every Christian has a conscience, and every believer must align their conscience with God’s Word. With this in mind, Christians and lead­ers need to recognize that no conscience perfectly matches God’s Word, and no two believers share the same conscience. Each believer must also respect the con­science of others. Every believer needs to obey their conscience and exercise their freedoms for God’s glory. Within the church, there must be mutual respect and understanding between those who are weak in their faith and those who are strong. We should be cautious not to negatively impact the conscience of others and strive to avoid causing harm. Those with a strong conscience must be patient and bear with those who have a weaker conscience.

Paul judges it dangerous for Christians to defy their consciences because if they get in the habit of ignoring the voice of conscience, they may ignore that voice even when the conscience is well informed and properly warning them of something that is positively evil.⁶

Twelve Principles on How to Disagree With Other Christians on Disputable Matters

Based on Andy Naselli and J. D. Crowley’s Twelve Principles (pp. 96-116) from Paul’s discussion of conscience dis­agreements in Romans 14 and 15, the following principles aim to ensure that the strict consciences of weaker believers are respected while still allowing for the legitimate freedoms of stronger believers.

Welcome One Another (Ro 14:1-12)

1. Welcome those who disagree: Welcome those who disagree with you (Ro 14:1-2). It is essential to welcome individuals with differing viewpoints “without quarreling over disputable matters” (NIV).
2. Avoid Condescension: Those who have freedom of conscience should not look down on those who do not (Ro 14:3-4). It is tempting for stron­ger believers to despise those who are stricter, often labeled as “legalists.” Paul condemns this superior attitude.
3. Refrain from Judgment: Those whose consciences restrict them must not be judgmental towards those who have freedom (Ro 14:3-4). Remember that you are not the mas­ter of other believers. Approach this with the right spirit and in the right measure.
4. Be Convicted in Your Conscience: Each believer must be fully con­vinced of their position in their conscience (Ro 14:5).
5. Assume Positive Intent: Assume that others choose to partake or refrain for the glory of God (Ro 14:6-9).
6. Judgment Belongs to God: Do not judge one another over these mat­ters, as we will all stand before the judgment seat of God one day (Ro 14:10-12). If we focus more on our standing before God, we are less likely to judge fellow Christians.

Strong Christians: Do Not Cause Your Brother or Sister to Stumble (Ro 14:13-23)

7. Protect the Faith of Others: While your freedom to eat meat is valid, do not let that freedom destroy the faith of a weaker brother or sister (Ro 14:13-15).
8. Prioritize Building Each Other Up: Disagreements about eating and drinking are insignificant in the kingdom of God; what truly mat­ters is building each other up in righteousness, peace, and joy (Ro 14:16-21).
9. Exercise Caution with Your Freedom: If you have freedom, do not flaunt it; if you are strict, do not expect others to adhere to the same strictness (Ro 14:22a).
10. Blessings Come from Conscience: A person who lives according to their conscience is blessed (Ro 14:22b-23).

Strong Christians: Build Up Your Brother or Sister (Ro 15:1-7)

11. Follow Christ’s Example: We should follow the example of Christ, who prioritized others (Ro 15:1-6).
12. Glorify God in Our Interactions: We bring glory to God when we welcome one another as Christ has welcomed us (Ro 15:7).

Conclusion

How do we communicate with those we disagree with? First, believers should welcome one another (Ro 14:1-12). This means welcoming those with whom we disagree. Strong believers should not look down on those with stricter consciences, and those with stricter consciences should not judge those who have freedom. Each believer needs to be fully convinced of their conscience. It’s important to assume that others are acting for the glory of God and to refrain from judging one another, as ultimately, we will all stand before God’s judgment seat.

Second, strong Christians must not cause their brother or sister to stumble. Their freedom should not damage the faith of weaker believers. Disagreements over matters of eating and drinking are not crucial; what matters is uplifting one another in righteousness, peace, and joy. Believers should not flaunt their freedom, and those who are strict should not expect the same from others. A person who lives according to their conscience is blessed.

Lastly, strong Christians should build up their brothers or sisters by imitating Christ, who put others first, and by bringing glory to God when we welcome one another just as Christ wel­comed us.

Let’s have nothing to do with paying the steep price for Pyrrhic victories in our churches.

It is vital how we treat and commu­nicate with those who disagree with us on disputable matters. Christians should embrace these individuals as they have been welcomed by Christ, as this action glorifies God. We are called to live in peace, fostering unity among our­selves and with Christ, which ultimately results in God being glorified.

“Therefore, welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.”