Five Things Leaders Should Stop Saying
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“What you say and what people hear can be two different things…” - Phil Cooke
As iron sharpens iron,
one person sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)
“What you say and what people hear can be two different things…” - Phil Cooke
“Quick judgments based on idioms are not good because we can associate someone’s idiom (words) with some prior judgment that we have (a negative one) when the other person intends no such thing! Here is a simple example….” - Wyatt Graham
“…during this time when people were isolated and I couldn’t call them all, I remembered postcards…. I was amazed at the response—people I hadn’t heard from personally in a long time contacted me and I was especially happy to hear back from younger friends more thanking me for them and telling me how encouraging they were.” - C.Leaders
It is no revelation that social media are dominant forms of communication in this digital age, but the stats are breathtaking. A remarkable 78% of 18-24 year olds in the U.S. use Snapchat, and 94% of that age demographic are regular YouTube users, while 71% use Instagram. More than two-thirds (68%) of all U.S. adults use Facebook, and 75% of those users are daily users.
Just about everybody complains about the quality of discourse on the Internet. In my experience, it isn’t much worse than the quality of discourse most other places—with one important exception. Foolishness of the verbal variety has always required cheap and easy forms of communication in order to really thrive. The talk of fools is not merely ignorant but impulsive, spontaneous. So, for centuries, the cost of publishing has been a mitigating factor, filtering much of the worst sort of foolishness out of the world of the written word.
“ ‘Happy couples tend to take a solution-oriented approach to conflict, and this is clear even in the topics that they choose to discuss….The researchers also found that the longer people were married, the fewer arguments they had, suggesting that over time couples had learned that some topics were simply not worth addressing.” - Church Leaders
“But his method of restoring ‘sacred words’ to our common vocabulary runs the risk of redefining them.” -CToday
For the last couple of years I’ve done a workshop for our homeschool support group on preparing your child to launch. The parents who attend have kids in high school, and the most common topic has not been how to get kids into college. It’s been about issues of parental authority with young adults at home.
If you constantly recite the “My house, my rules!” lecture to your 18 year old, that horse has probably left the corral and is roaming the plains of Montana.
This is a sensitive topic, and parents in my Preparing to Launch Workshop expect me to give them long, complex answers to their questions, with a “How To” checklist. However, in one form or another, my answer is almost always “Communication.”
Here’s why.
“Even the seemingly dated…contain ample wisdom to be gleaned for any modern medium.” Brain Pickings
“…when you miss the point, you open up a fallacy-filled wonderland where conversation and emotions are set free to frolic! If you wish to dispense with the authoritarian laws of logic… and transcend the boundaries of social courtesy, then here are some suggestions for you to try on your entirely subjective journey.”
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