Singleness and Community: Playing Hide and Seek

SharperIron

In my circle of friends and acquaintances, this was the year for weddings and engagements. I know four different couples who got married this spring and summer and then two more good friends got engaged just a few weeks ago. I’m honestly very happy for all of them, but at the same time, I would be lying if I didn’t admit to struggling with the temptation of a “when’s-it-my-turn” pity party. The plain truth is I am single at 33, and marriage, let alone a date, seems highly unlikely right now.

Still when Hannah and I reconnected this summer, I was initially very excited that she wanted to hear my thoughts and humbled when she offered me the opportunity to share about singleness on her blog. However, as my excitement dwindled, I found myself running for cover. Writing about singleness meant facing the reality of my circumstances yet again.

And since we are being really honest here, I’ll admit that sometimes it’s easier to hide. In fact, if it’s fight or flight, I often choose escape—usually running to the nearest story, whether it’s in a favorite TV show or novel. I think another other story is better than mine so I just hide out there for a while. And all the while I deceive myself into thinking that I’m waiting patiently in my singleness; but functionally, I’m living the opposite. I’m quietly rebelling against God’s sovereignty and providential leading in my life by thinking that anything other than Jesus will satisfy the longings of my heart.

Discussion

The importance of a healthy relationship between married and single NT Christians

Joel Tetreau

OK - just a gentle Pastoral reminder - Christian single people are people too! Those of us who are married need to really work at reaching out in friendship with those who are single. They are just like you and I except without the support of a spouse. Some of them are divorced and carry scars that are deep. Some of them are widowed and carry a different set of hurts. Many deal with the task of being a single parent (wowzers!). Some have never married out of a sense that they should be single (actually God and Paul would commend them in 1 Cor 7).

Discussion