"38 percent of couples who were considering divorce or separation have now put aside those plans as a result of the recession"

Seems like this might be an indicator of the underlying problem of selfishness that causes the problem in these marriages in the first place.

Or it could be an indicator that women in untenable marriages no longer feel like it’s possible (in this economy) for them to support themselves and their children. Perhaps they are “sucking it up” and enduring rather than eschewing selfishness.

Rachel, I want to say this carefully, as I have counseled people suffering with difficult partners. However, I would compassionately argue that biblically there is no such thing as an “untenable marriage.” This is a cultural concept, not a godly one. I would further argue that making the decision to stay in a marriage for financial reasons is exactly what I said to begin with - selfish. It is “me-focused” with all attention and decision making revolving around personal comfort and desires.

I have a feeling that most of the couples surveyed were not considering divorce because of things like domestic abuse/substance issues. I can’t open the report right now- my Adobe Reader is acting weird, but the context made it seem like these are couples who, if not for the recession, would quickly give up on their marriages and head for ‘greener pastures’. But because of the recession they are re-examining their priorities and realizing that they can make their marriage work.

It’s sad that when divorce is an easy option, so many choose it over working out marital problems. As if those problems are not going to reappear in their next relationship.

It is true, however, that many women will remain in an abusive marriage because they don’t know how they would support themselves and their children. The prospect of being completely on their own is more frightening than getting the snot beat out of them on a regular basis.

[Chip Van Emmerik] Rachel, I want to say this carefully, as I have counseled people suffering with difficult partners. However, I would compassionately argue that biblically there is no such thing as an “untenable marriage.” This is a cultural concept, not a godly one. I would further argue that making the decision to stay in a marriage for financial reasons is exactly what I said to begin with - selfish. It is “me-focused” with all attention and decision making revolving around personal comfort and desires.

Chip,

I don’t have a ton of time here, but I’d like to respectfully disagree with you and also ask if you hold to a non-divorce position. Just curious.

I agree with you that this particular survey is probably “me-focused”.

Yeah, Jay, I do.

I consider emotional abuse and/or marital abandonment (while still cohabitating) to be both untenable and acceptable grounds for divorce. I realize that many here disagree.

I also would not label a desire to adequately house & feed one’s children as “selfish.”

Oh boy, before the whole divorce thing gets started remember that some people believe separation is the same as divorce, while others believe they are separate. Please consider this. I have read countless threads on SI and this is an underlying difference in many people’s positions.

of this article is NOT Biblical/non-Biblical reasons to divorce, but about those who are having minor marital issues deciding to prioritize their marriage because of the additional pressure of a recession. When times are harder, people often buckle down and make harder choices. It’s a bittersweet thing, because you are happy that people are doing some thinking about their marriages, but it’s sad that it takes financial pressure to get folks to put more work into their relationships.