A Rising Anti-Pearl Movement within the Conservative Christian Community
i didn’t mean to sound mean ;)
but i have thought through the details of this situation perhaps more than most people commenting on this thread.
first, some have pointed out (elsewhere) that this girl, both girls, were adopted. This is significant. Adopted children, or I should say, children who have spent time in orphanages, have a significantly higher pain threshhold. This was obvious in the little boy we are wanting to adopt, for example. Christian ladies watch him while he’s in the hospital, not orphanage workers. And it has been observed that the doctor can do very painful leg manipulations to check his deformity, but he will not cry, though it is obviously painful. Orphans, by necessity?, are often trained, indirectly or otherwise, not to cry or respond to pain as “normal” kids are.
Aaron’s comment about skin was innocent, and probably to be expected because no one has seen photographs of the kids in this family. But if you pay attention to details, these girls were adopted from Liberia, so this “disciipline” was happening on dark skin. This is perhaps significant in this case, as Aaron seems to be saying is significant. If her skin were white, would they have stopped earlier? I wonder. Although one of their own children (white) also had bruises.
so, that’s what i meant. wasn’t trying to be snotty ;)
but i have thought through the details of this situation perhaps more than most people commenting on this thread.
first, some have pointed out (elsewhere) that this girl, both girls, were adopted. This is significant. Adopted children, or I should say, children who have spent time in orphanages, have a significantly higher pain threshhold. This was obvious in the little boy we are wanting to adopt, for example. Christian ladies watch him while he’s in the hospital, not orphanage workers. And it has been observed that the doctor can do very painful leg manipulations to check his deformity, but he will not cry, though it is obviously painful. Orphans, by necessity?, are often trained, indirectly or otherwise, not to cry or respond to pain as “normal” kids are.
Aaron’s comment about skin was innocent, and probably to be expected because no one has seen photographs of the kids in this family. But if you pay attention to details, these girls were adopted from Liberia, so this “disciipline” was happening on dark skin. This is perhaps significant in this case, as Aaron seems to be saying is significant. If her skin were white, would they have stopped earlier? I wonder. Although one of their own children (white) also had bruises.
so, that’s what i meant. wasn’t trying to be snotty ;)
Anne,
I don’t think it’s possible for you to know that you’ve thought this matter through more than anyone else in the thread. You might wan’t to think that one through ;)
But I’m sure few would doubt you’ve given it a great deal of reflection and have a well-informed opinion.
At any rate, it remains impossible to beat a child to death without visible bruising, regardless of his or her pigmentation. And if you discipline with that constraint in mind—as the Pearls apparently recommend (again I say apparently), you will not injure a child unless (as Susan has pointed out) you haven’t got much going on upstairs. What I mean is, you don’t have to be Einstein to figure out that “If I do this, there are going to be ugly bruises.” And that stops well short of even serious injury, much less death.
I really don’t think there is as much disagreement here as there seems. It’s just very emotionally charged. We all recognize that the parents have the bulk of the blame if what’s alleged really happened, and nobody here is claiming the Pearl system is without flaws. We probably mostly agree as well that some of what the Pearls have written sounds bad. How bad it really is depends on how you harmonize these statements with other things they have written, and that’s just not an exact science. There’s going to continue to be strong feelings on that score, I’m sure.
With that, I think we’ll close the thread for a while for a “chill break.”
Edit: some info from Anne regarding bruising …
•Deeper bruising may take up to two days to appear on the skin surface. Red marks can show up almost immediately.
•Black skin may mask bruises. An ultraviolet light may need to be used.
http://harfordmedlegal.typepad.com/forensics_talk/injuries_associated_w…
I don’t think it’s possible for you to know that you’ve thought this matter through more than anyone else in the thread. You might wan’t to think that one through ;)
But I’m sure few would doubt you’ve given it a great deal of reflection and have a well-informed opinion.
At any rate, it remains impossible to beat a child to death without visible bruising, regardless of his or her pigmentation. And if you discipline with that constraint in mind—as the Pearls apparently recommend (again I say apparently), you will not injure a child unless (as Susan has pointed out) you haven’t got much going on upstairs. What I mean is, you don’t have to be Einstein to figure out that “If I do this, there are going to be ugly bruises.” And that stops well short of even serious injury, much less death.
I really don’t think there is as much disagreement here as there seems. It’s just very emotionally charged. We all recognize that the parents have the bulk of the blame if what’s alleged really happened, and nobody here is claiming the Pearl system is without flaws. We probably mostly agree as well that some of what the Pearls have written sounds bad. How bad it really is depends on how you harmonize these statements with other things they have written, and that’s just not an exact science. There’s going to continue to be strong feelings on that score, I’m sure.
With that, I think we’ll close the thread for a while for a “chill break.”
Edit: some info from Anne regarding bruising …
•Deeper bruising may take up to two days to appear on the skin surface. Red marks can show up almost immediately.
•Black skin may mask bruises. An ultraviolet light may need to be used.
http://harfordmedlegal.typepad.com/forensics_talk/injuries_associated_w…
Views expressed are always my own and not my employer's, my church's, my family's, my neighbors', or my pets'. The house plants have authorized me to speak for them, however, and they always agree with me.
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