Nine Marks of a Prosperity Gospel Church

Knowing a little bit about some prosperity theologians, it strikes me that one of the quickest ways to spot a prosperity theologian—besides the ostentatious display of the signs of wealth—is to watch for signs of outright moral debauchery (Swaggart, Bakker, Long, etc..) and outright heresy. Not just disagreement about the basics of prosperity gospel vs. the real Gospel (although that certainly qualifies), but I’m thinking of things like T.D. Jakes’ modalism. And then you’ve got tons of false prophecies like those of Robertson….

Maybe another good sign is if the good folks at the Babylon Bee joke about a minimum requirement for heresy in the weekly sermon, or a minimum requirement for disqualifying moral behavior? Seriously, I took a look at a few, and it’s amazing how many are divorced.

church is the pastor drives a rust bucket duck-taped together.

Don’t forget the chicken wire, Mark!

My pastor has been joking for the past month about how many tow truck drivers he’s gotten to know—he’s an amateur mechanic and likes to take cars as far as they’ll go. Per the other thread about how a pastor who is poorly paid actually being the one who funds the missionaries and such….I have put in a suggestion with a couple of the deacons that it would be good for the church to get a 3/4 ton pickup to (a) plow snow in the winter and (b) be a tow vehicle for the pastor at other times so the vehicle gets the use it needs to stay in good shape—and of course with the provision that (c) we get the regular checkups at the dealer. My pastor is too valuable to leave stuck by the side of the road routinely, IMO.

(big question with my proposal; can the snow removal crew share well enough to make this work? I don’t know the answer to that question)

No, dat’s not my pastor in da Yoopers video, but he is a Finnlander who loves old cars, eh.