Are Kids Better Off in An Unhappily Married Family or A Happily Divorced Family?
“In various forms and in various expressions, the perpetual myth repeated in each chapter of the sexual revolution (as each new extreme becomes a norm in our culture) is this phrase: The kids will be fine.” - Breakpoint
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A lot of people like to pretend that they’re “happily divorced”, but in my admittedly small set of cases I’m aware of suggests that George Jones’ He Stopped Loving Her Today, or George Strait’s Oceanfront Property, is a better picture of what goes on. Sometimes divorce is a painful necessity, but it leaves a mark that really lasts for life. So any presentation of the issue really needs to be a little more coherent than a dichotomy of “unhappily married vs. happily divorced.”
Aspiring to be a stick in the mud.
Once in Asia, I ran into an interesting family situation:
It was a family of three children, and the parents apparently hated each other. They not only dwelt in their lage house separately, the father even had a mistress living with him in his quarters.
I asked another colleague who was familiar with the family why they didn’t simply divorce, and he said the grandparents — who were quite wealthy — thought it would be bad for the children’s education and future if the home were broken. And they were conditioning funding for their grandchildren’s education on the parents remaining married until the children were finished with their formal education.
Admittedly, this is pretty extreme. What I found so interesting was that all three of the children (and I taught them all), though not particularly happy, enjoyed very high academic performance. I have never seen the same among children whose parents are going through a divorce.
Among other things … Divorce is a great wealth killer
https://esimoney.com/the-cost-of-divorce/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_most_expensive_divorces
Anecdote: Family member had $ 50,000 in legal fees in divorce
And marriage is a wealth builder!
https://www.worldfinance.com/wealth-management/for-richer-for-poorer-th…
married couples save more, as thinking and living as a unit, so to speak, is more conducive to long-term financial planning. “Married people are more likely to buy homes or make other investments together than people who are co-habiting.” In essence, knowing the relationship is for life inspires a greater readiness to invest and plan for the future. …
The second principle is that the sharing ethos of marriage is especially beneficial in terms of both daily and longer-term expenses. For example, there is little difference in the cost of home insurance or heating for a dwelling used by one person or by two, so the cost is considerably lower when split.
The same economies of scale apply to numerous purchases: married couples can share cars, household appliances and furniture, rather than each buying the same things independently.
Finally, there is the division of labour. Married couples share the responsibility of looking after their home, meaning that less time is lost compared with those who live alone. Household chores and other daily administrative duties can be allocated based on each partner’s strengths and schedule, increasing efficiency and effectiveness.
What’s more, the spouse with the less demanding job, for example, can do more in terms of housework and errands, leaving the bigger earner to focus more on their career. In turn, this can help the latter excel in the workplace, get promoted, and bring home a bigger paycheque.
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