Jim Fri, 02/17/2017 - 4:36pm Tags: FloristsSatireHumorBabylon BeeThe registry, called ASSIMIL8, provides gay couples with a list of business owners whose privately held personal beliefs may reflect traditional Christian views on marriage. The excited fiancés can then pick whose lives they want to totally destroy with a lengthy and frivolous lawsuit, as they anticipate their cheerful nuptials. In lieu of wedding gifts, friends and family can participate in the joyful celebration by contributing to the expensive legal fees required to completely trash a random stranger’s life and force them into bankruptcy. “We can think of no better way to start our new life together then to utterly ruin the livelihood of a local businessperson based on their religious beliefs,” said one happy couple. “It’s a perfect way to honor the love and acceptance represented by marriage.” 440 reads
