Making Disciples in a Millennial Generation , Part 1
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From Voice magazine, Mar/Apr 2016. Used by permission.
We are facing a clash of generations in America. The Baby Boomers—the generation of “The Sixties,” Woodstock and The Beatles singing “You say you want a revolution”—are kicking and screaming into retirement;1 while the Millennials, the first generation of “digital natives”2 and the most-observed generation in history, are facing their 30s.3
Boomers don’t want to give up their positions of influence or control and Millennials don’t see value in Boomers’ old-fashioned methodology. Instead, the younger generation is creating a new way of doing things. This phenomenon is true with everything from pocket-sized computers (thinly disguised as cell phones) to the Church. Millennials are walking away from traditional churches en masse;4 plus, an entire new generation of pastors would rather plant new churches than minister in established, traditional churches.5
There is a prevailing paradox here that is so often true in today’s culture. Most Millennials seek out growing relationships with older adults as mentors.6 But, from my perspective as a longtime youth worker, these generations look at basic aspects of life and ministry very, very differently. I believe the different generations need each other, probably more than ever before.7 However, it often looks like the two are speaking different languages when it comes to church ministry.
We will look at some of the generational differences that will effect today’s ministry, and then we’ll consider what to do about it. But first, let’s define terms.
Millennials are those born between 1980 and about 1996.8 This cohort currently comprises almost 100 million people in the United States between the ages of 20 and 35. Baby Boomers9 are people born in the U.S. from 1946 to 1964, equaling around 80 million people.
A generation can be defined as a group of people who are approximately the same age who have encountered key historical events and social trends while in the same phase of life. Members of a generation are shaped in lasting ways by the major circumstances they encounter as children and young adults.10 For instance, the pivotal moment in the lives of most Boomers was the brutal assassination of President John F. Kennedy; while the most memorable moment for Millennials was undoubtedly the terror attacks on September 11, 2001.
It’s important to also understand that generations tend to look at life differently than did previous generations. Their perspective, priorities and values are typically not the same as those who have gone before.
This brings us to consider the generational differences facing today’s churches and church leaders. A quick look at some of the basic functions of church ministry will reveal that Millennials and Baby Boomers look at church programming very differently.
Mentoring
Boomers view mentoring as a sharing of knowledge in which the older people tell younger people what they need to know. Millennials crave personal relationships with significant, older people and want input into the conversations.
Evangelism
Baby Boomers believe that “witnessing” is usually a systematic presentation or outline. Millennials want to build growing relationships with unsaved people within existing communities.
Church Services & Programs
Boomers grew up in an era when structured church services filled their Sunday schedules (Sunday school, morning service, training hour or youth group and evening service). Millennials prefer one worship service each weekend and then want relational conversations in an accepting environment around a cup of coffee.
Leadership
Boomers tend to think that leaders should “pay their dues” before assuming positions of leadership. Millennials have been told they have much to offer and want a voice in influencing the direction of the church or organization.
Fellowship
Boomers seek out fellowship with people their own age. Millennials hunger for growing relationships with people from older generations.
Education and Equipping
Baby Boomers are used to classes and curriculum that are organized around different age brackets. Millennials find information online and want to learn via select relationships.
Discipleship
Boomers believe discipleship is built around a series of scheduled meetings. Millennials want to “do life together” with significant, influential leaders.
Let’s face it, these generational differences are considerable enough to cause havoc in many churches today. So what can Baby Boomer church leaders do to develop growing disciples from the Millennial generation?
Notes
7 See my book on this subject: Inter-Generational Youth Ministry: Why a Balanced View of Connecting the Generations is Essential for The Church, published by Overboard Ministries & Vision For Youth Publishing, 2013.
8 Including Tom & Jess Rainer’s The Millennials: Connecting to America’s Largest Generation, published by B&H Publishing Group, 2011.
9 For an important overview of these generational differences, see Paul Taylor’s book The Next America: Boomers, Millennials, and the Looming Generational Showdown, published by Pew Research / PublicAffairs, 2014.
10 The classic work on generational differences in this country is probably Neil Howe and William Strauss’ Generations: The History of America’s Future, 1584 to 2069, published by Quill, 1992.
Mel Walker Bio
Mel Walker is Vice President for Communications and External Relations at Summit University (formerly Baptist Bible Collete) in Clarks Summit, Pennsylvania; cofounder of Vision for Youth, and author of Inter-Generational Youth Ministry: Why a Balanced View of Connecting the Generations is Essential for The Church (2013).
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The church I’m a part of has welcomed people Boomers into the Body. My wife and I are both in our 60’s (although she doesn’t look her age) and are constantly approached for advice and to share life experiences. As one of the elders, I’m always sharing those “I did that 30 years ago and here’s what I learned” moments.
We’ve had people our age join the church and fit in nicely. Both sides have had to “bend” a little but that’s just part of “submitting to one another”. I’m a Geneva 1599/KJV guy who’s learned to enjoy preaching from other versions. I’ve realized that having a choir and “special” music wasn’t as essential to worship as I thought it was. I haven’t missed many of the Gospel songs I grew up with. (Heaven Came Down and Coming Again for instance). On the other hand “they” have enjoyed singing “How Sweet and Awfull is the Place” and have learned that the voices of the congregation shouldn’t be drowned out by the musicians. I’ve also learned that God doesn’t care if I wear a tie or if someone wears sandals to church. (WWJD?)
Sometimes the generational difference can be funny. When I was preaching on Psalm 51 and said that the reason I sinned because I was “Born this way”, the audible chuckle in the congregation was amusement at my inadvertently having quoted Lady Gaga.
"Some things are of that nature as to make one's fancy chuckle, while his heart doth ache." John Bunyan
Regarding Mel Walker’s general classifications of Millenial values versus those of Boomers, it strikes me that the relational emphasis of the new generation could be a HUGE benefit for churches that clue into it. The trick is simple; churches have struggled for decades to get people to take discipleship and evangelism seriously, and part of the problem is that we connect discipleship and evangelism with programs. So if we’re not in those familiar four walls, it just doesn’t cross our minds.
Millenials and like-thinkers have no such disability. Once they learn how to do these in relationship, it’s going to be part of their culture—something they almost cannot turn off. That’s huge.
Aspiring to be a stick in the mud.
[Bert Perry]Regarding Mel Walker’s general classifications of Millenial values versus those of Boomers, it strikes me that the relational emphasis of the new generation could be a HUGE benefit for churches that clue into it. The trick is simple; churches have struggled for decades to get people to take discipleship and evangelism seriously, and part of the problem is that we connect discipleship and evangelism with programs. So if we’re not in those familiar four walls, it just doesn’t cross our minds.
Millenials and like-thinkers have no such disability. Once they learn how to do these in relationship, it’s going to be part of their culture—something they almost cannot turn off. That’s huge.
Interestingly, most of the books about evangelism, discipleship, and missions that I’ve read over the past 25 or so years have emphasized the importance of relationships and de-emphazied programs. I can even remember older books such as Paul Little’s “How to Give Away Your Faith (1966),” Joe Aldrich’s “Lifestyle Evangelism(1981),” and Rebbecah Manley-Pippert’s (1979) “Out of the Saltshaker and into the World” all stressing relationships over programs and they were written during the heyday of the boomers.
I agree in toto with Joel on the fact that discipleship books of the 1980s and so on really were working to get past programs, and I’d add “Evangelism Explosion” and other tools I’ve used. The one thing we missed is really, really simple; all too often, to teach personal, relational evangelism, we got 20 or 50 people in a room (or God forbid, 500) and we use a program style to try and teach people how to apply these tools in the ebb and flow of life. It’s like a proverb a brother of ours from Sudan shared with me 25 years back or so: “your actions are shouting so loud, I cannot hear what you are saying.”
And so I am very, very happy to hear stories like those Ron and Greg have shared.
Aspiring to be a stick in the mud.
Speaking as someone who is a member of a large and growing church, with that growth primarily being a result of reaching unbelievers, here’s an issue I wonder about: to what extent (if any) should or can a church tolerate any degree of what we might have historically or traditionally viewed as immodesty? (Stay with me on this before dismissing the question…)
The fundamentalism in which I was raised viewed any type of pants on women or girls as being immodest (culottes sometimes being the dubious exception). One of the very worst practices of the pants-on-women prohibition that I’ve seen existed at a local IFB church not far from my own. A rule of their bus ministry was that even little girls (think “2nd graders”) could ride the bus to Sunday School once or perhaps twice wearing pants, but thereafter were required to wear skirts or dresses. When this expectation was conveyed to children’s parents, can you guess how many little girls never returned?
I likewise recall at least a couple of thundering tirades against open-toed shoes on women (which arguably said more about the preachers than the reputed problem).
In more recent years, female pant-wearing seems to have greatly diminished as an issue, although it still is to some; and open-toed shoes carry nary a hint of opprobrium. To an observable extent, our perception of immodesty has changed.
The church I mentioned above at one time made what I consider a woeful decision: at a certain point, they would rather maintain their church’s dress standards than continue to minister to many unbelieving kids (not to mention their parents).
Are we sometimes guilty today of making similar choices?
Understand I’m not advocating turning a blind eye if a woman walked into church wearing a bikini (although I’ve been told by a Hawaii church pastor that there such can occur!). As the Usher Captain at one of our service times, I’m rather glad that I haven’t had to face such a situation! No, what I’m getting at is how do we react or what would we do if a woman walked in wearing a skirt that we see as being unacceptably short. Or wearing a top that reveals more skin than we consider appropriate? Do we glare, or otherwise make her feel unwelcome? Or would we even turn her away? For the sake of ministering to her need for the gospel, do we hold our tongues (and as needed divert our eyes)? Should we?
What about the person who isn’t necessarily dressing immodestly, but simply not to our personal standards? Since this thread is about Millennials, how do we react to the person with a nose or lip ring (or two)? Or with dreadlocks? Or hair dyed bright pink? Or prominent tattoos? Do we turn up our noses, or do we see past their outward appearance and predominantly see their need for Jesus (which isn’t to say that many Christians are not without such accoutrements) and unreservedly welcome them? If we really want to reach them, isn’t the latter what we must sometimes do?
Just thinking out loud. Thoughts?
Larry, we face those things on a weekly basis. I am doing a discipleship Bible study with two other guys including one who is tatted up and down. He is a new Christian who got saved and baptized recently. He has also recently starting serving as a member of our front-door greeting team, giving high fives to people as they come in—he loves it.
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Greg Long, Ed.D. (SBTS)
Pastor of Adult Ministries
Grace Church, Des Moines, IA
Adjunct Instructor
School of Divinity
Liberty University
[Greg Long]Larry, we face those things on a weekly basis. I am doing a discipleship Bible study with two other guys including one who is tatted up and down. He is a new Christian who got saved and baptized recently. He has also recently starting serving as a member of our front-door greeting team, giving high fives to people as they come in—he loves it.
That’s what I’m driving at.
Regarding Larry’s note, it almost seems that most blue collar workers in outstate MN under the age of 40 have at least one tat. Good luck doing ministry here if you get freaked out about that! Plus, asking about what tats mean is a great way of getting to know people. They usually are there for a purpose. It’s about Mom, Dad, brothers and sisters, children, and other loved ones here and gone. Stained glass on the skin—not kosher, but are we under the Torah in this regard?
Plus, remember how Paul notes that a woman with uncovered head might as well have her head shaved? I’m told that in Corinthian culture, that meant you were a temple prostitute, and I would hope that the church there had frequent “gut checks” when a new visitor walked in with a shaved head and really ratty clothes—the best she could gin up after fleeing her previous place of employment.
It’s hard for me to get worked up about yoga pants, tattoos, or nose rings when I think about that.
Aspiring to be a stick in the mud.
Darrel wrote of Millenials:
My impression is that they are pretty headstrong, they get their way, and are amenable to the older generations so long as they go along with what millennials want. Its not everybody, but just the message we get as a whole.
I think there is a lot of truth to that statement but the same thing could also be said of the boomers. Consider this statement, “My impression is that the boomers are pretty headstrong. They get their way and are amenable to the younger generations so long as they go along with what the boomers want. Its not everybody, but just the message we get as a whole.”
One of the dangers I have seen is that some boomers just throw out the accusation of worldliness in order to manipulate others and to get their way. Millennials can do the same thing by throwing out the accusation of legalism. We all need to set aside selfishness and get back to the Word and quit using the sacred Word of God to for selfish motives.
An example of the generation gap and forced preferences was at a business meeting I heard about that occurred a few years ago. The church had recently gotten a technology update with a new projector. An older influential man in the church said at the meeting that they would not use the projector to project the words of hymns on the screen because that could cause division in the church. It is good I was not there, because I would have said that if anyone caused division over that they should be under church discipline.
Darrell’s previous post is excellent!
I’ve met a few millennials who are like the Athenians and always seeking “some new thing” and whose philosophy of ministry is based on the latest book they read. On the other hand, I’ve met a lot of boomers who seem to see any change as a sort of rebellion and view questions like “why do we do this?” as a challenge to authority they consider Biblical.
The reasonable millennials I know are aware of “boomer sensitivities” and are more than willing to listen and discuss concerns. The kind of response that was rarely demonstrated by my generation.
Isn’t unity through humble submission to one another supposed to be our practice?
Philippians 2:1-4
Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
"Some things are of that nature as to make one's fancy chuckle, while his heart doth ache." John Bunyan
The next time somebody complains about Millenials, maybe remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hardwood floors.
(Not original to me)
Views expressed are always my own and not my employer's, my church's, my family's, my neighbors', or my pets'. The house plants have authorized me to speak for them, however, and they always agree with me.
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