Review – What Is a Girl Worth, by Rachel Denhollander

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It’s occasionally difficult to distill any book, particularly one of this weight, into words. This is a book that should never have needed to be written, and it is one of the most powerfully affecting books that I’ve ever read. This book is deeply challenging, and it is entirely possible to experience a huge range of emotions while reading it; I routinely cycled through anger, frustration, compassion, joy, and sadness as I turned pages in it. There are more than a few times when I had to put the book down and walk away from it simply because it was too emotionally demanding to continue reading, as this subject generally is. Other passages, particularly near the end, moved me to tears.

For those who do not know the story, Rachael Denhollander was sexually abused by Larry Nassar while in her early teens during treatment for injuries received as a result of gymnastics. As someone who had previously been a victim of abuse, it did not take a long time for Rachael to realize that what Nassar had done was wrong and illegal, but she writes eloquently about how tightly she kept that secret because the entire family was fully aware that Nassar was untouchable due to his associations with MSU and especially the US Gymnastics program. She not only painstakingly documented what happened to her, but also built an entire library of information in the hopes that one day someone out there would provide an opening that would allow him to face justice. That opening was provided by the investigative team at the Indianapolis Star1 many years later, after she believed her opportunity to press charges had expired, in a story about the coverup of abuse in the US Olympic program.

I think this book will be a huge encouragement or challenge to three groups of people. The first group is for survivors2 themselves. For those who have been through the trauma of any kind of abuse, learning to vocalize what happened to themselves and even to be courageous enough to talk about it are the first two major steps in their recovery. Abuse victims come in all shapes and sizes, and many of them have learned that the best way to “deal” with their trauma is to try and will it away or to bury it under layered internal defenses, which is yet another educational aspect of the book. For Rachael in particular, it meant repeatedly testifying about what was done in graphic detail to reporters, police, court, and the media. Now she is testifying to it in excruciating and personal detail in this book. Most survivors will not ever do this, as the cost is simply too high. Rachael, on the other hand, is very forward and blunt with the description, but her pointedness is for our own good. If we couch the realities of abuse in polite language, it can diffuse the power and weight of the truth we need to know. For this reason alone I would recommend the book to anyone.

The second group of people are those of us who may be aware of the case and are interested in her story from an insider’s point of view. I know that I first heard about Rachael through the sentencing hearing and closing witness statement, which has now been seen more than a million times via different channels on YouTube.3 These people may be familiar with the case but not the dynamics of abuse or the criminal justice system, and this book should come as a shocking and eye-opening expośe into how abusers can co-opt everyone into silent complicity and erect walls of protection that not only buffer them from accusation but also prevent the victims from ever going forward and continually opens up new avenues for further exploitation.

The third group of people that this book should challenge are those charged with shepherding people4 in their local church. This is traditionally the role of pastors, elders, and deacons, but it should also include those who are responsible for children’s ministries, Sunday School, VBS leaders, and community outreach team members as well. Because the church is generally a volunteer-lead, volunteer-run ministry to the community-at-large, we are particularly susceptible to those who may appear as angels of light but who may have evil intent. Having abuse prevention policies are good, helpful, and are legally necessary but having an understanding of the methodologies of predators will help us understand our own cultural blind spots as well. This book will give you some exposure to understanding the things to look for from predators and more importantly, people who are being groomed for abuse or abused at home. This is an area that we traditionally do not cover well or in detail in our counseling materials, and many of the resources that we might look to for guidance generally do not do a good job of handling the topic of abuse.

In addition, those who lead the church must develop (if they do not already have) the necessary discernment and fortitude to engage with those who are adept at spin and misdirection. Perhaps some of our churches would not carry the reputations they do if the pastors had learned to look beyond the façade of trusting “friends” and supporters and seen the hideous realities underneath, which leads into my next point.

One major thought that went through my head as I read the book was “what would have happened if Rachael were in my church and she didn’t have the background and training that she did?” If Rachael had come into my church as an overweight mother of four that lived in a mobile home, or as an angry seventeen-year-old African American teenager who kept mouthing back to me, or a sullen and withdrawn boy who kept running away from his home…would I have listened to them? Would I have acted to get at the real issue instead of what was being presented? Would I have even known how to get past the external shell and at the heart of the issues that were really going on? To my shame, I have to say that I might not have done that. That’s a terrifying proposition, because we will receive judgment on the basis of all the works that we have done, including our thoughts. James is very clear to warn us of the dangers of being selective shepherds in James 2:1-13, and Matthew 25:40-45 reminds us of our responsibility to care for the naked, hungry, thirsty and imprisoned. How much of a prison is being abused by someone and yet unable to get someone to believe that you were? Do we really want to follow the model of the priest and Levite, who saw the beaten man on the Jericho road and callously cross over to the other side5? Are abuse victims not our neighbors too?

I could easily spend a dozen more pages talking about how important and educational this book is, and still never be a line closer to finishing, and I haven’t even touched on her ability to write or many other aspects of the book. God has specifically used her grit, fortitude, and determination in our day to tear aside the veils of secrecy that shrouds this topic. You must read this book, and I’d encourage that any schools or universities that are in the business of training ministers to make it required reading for their students. I wish I had this book years ago, when I was in undergrad or seminary…but I have it now, and others can read and learn from it too. Go buy it now!

Notes

1 https://www.indystar.com/story/news/2016/09/12/former-usa-gymnastics-doc….

2 Abuse victims do not generally like to be called victims, but survivors.

3 291,000 views (WXYZ TV), 346,000 (CNN), 293,000 (MLive), and 72,000 (USA Today) channels. This is a small gathering completed on 8/27/19.

4 Luke 10:29-37.

5 Luke 10:25-37.

Jay Camp Bio

Jay holds a MA and a BA in Pastoral Studies from Bob Jones University and Northland Baptist Bible College (later Northland International University). He and his wife serve at a church in New York in many different capacities.

Discussion

In cases like the Nassar case, it’s not true that the only person who can testify against a perpetrator is the victim or an eyewitness. It’s also very significant when people describe how the accuser responded to the situation at the time, whether they mentioned it, whether details were given, and the like. We saw that in the brouhaha over Brett Kavanaugh, really, and it’s one big reason for mandatory reporting laws. No, you didn’t see it—for obvious reasons rape happens usually in private—but what you have to say can be good for at least a subpoena, even if it’s not admissible in trial.

Regarding people suing churches, schools, and other institutions for telling them not to report or otherwise mishandling the issue, absolutely, and see above. It does great harm when a person is told, in effect, that they can either have justice, or they can have their social circle and/or spiritual home, and it does great harm when a person does not get justice that they otherwise would have had.

It’s good when a person has what it takes to tell authority figures to take a flying leap when they make idiotic demands. However, I think it’s a bit much to demand that, and those who harm people by demanding they keep things quiet are fair game for civil lawsuits.

Aspiring to be a stick in the mud.

With all kindness, my observation stands.

So we have a church that bands together to persuade an assault victim and her family not to go to the police, and therefore….the blame for that is on the family? Seriously?

This statement implies that it is the fault of the victim’s family’s for the church’s mishandling of the situation. That is not what was said or implied.

Mr. LaVern G. Carpenter

Proverbs 3:1-12

Mark initially said this:

Churches do not “file charges.” If Rachel’s family were intimidated, that is on them…

It’s extremely callous (at a minimum) to reference the victim’s failure to report their sexual abuse immediately after I explained that the church deliberately covered up repeated sexual assaults by a member. t’s no different from hearing a woman admitting to her own rape and then immediately following that up with “well, what kind of clothes were you wearing?” or “well, you were in the wrong part of town” or something like it. Would you tell someone whose husband had been murdered that it’s not the church’s responsibility to report a murder, and that if they didn’t, it was on them? What about if the pastor’s 401(k) / 403(b) had been embezzled by the treasurer?

We are commanded to speak the truth in love. What Mark said may be true, but it was not loving to Rachael. I’m also a little nonplussed that at least two people saw fit to agree with that, although I’m not necessarily shocked by that anymore.

"Our task today is to tell people — who no longer know what sin is...no longer see themselves as sinners, and no longer have room for these categories — that Christ died for sins of which they do not think they’re guilty." - David Wells

To be clear, apparently her church did wrong. I have no idea. I am just going on what Jay says Rachel said. Churches should be open about abuse that occurred on their premisis.

That being said, part of the reason the abuse was covered up was Rachel’s parents apparently did not pursue justice. NO ONE can cover up if the victim themselves reports the crime (unless the police and DA are in on it…).

I am completely loving Rachel with the truth. Her parents failed to seek justice for her. Again by her own testimony as relayed by Jay. Its that simple.

Did you ever tell your parents “but all the kids are doing it…” And they said “if someone told you to jump off a cliff, would you?” Same thing with church leadership telling you to cover up a felony! You immediately know those people do not care for you! They do not love you nor do they love Christ. Move on immediately. On the way, stop by the police station…

Let me say it another way. If you as a pastor are supposed to report abuse in your church (not in my state, but most), and fail to, you have committed a crime. If a church goes along and tries to cover up, that is evil. Plain and simple. BUT NO ONE can keep the victim and their family from reporting the crime themselves. So, what I am saying is, the buck stops with the family. If they fail… don’t write a book 20 years later blaming the church without blaming your parents.

The ERLC released a new episode of “The Way Home” podcast yesterday with Rachael. It’s a very powerful interview that touches on abuse from a variety of angles and is some of the best discussion that I’ve heard on the topic to date. I’d recommend that to all of you.

If anyone else is interested in reading more, I’d recommend this special report by the Courier-Journal on the personal toll this has taken on her and her family for decades now. The media interviews are also cropping up online as well, such as this one from CBS This Morning.

"Our task today is to tell people — who no longer know what sin is...no longer see themselves as sinners, and no longer have room for these categories — that Christ died for sins of which they do not think they’re guilty." - David Wells

[LGCarpenter]

So we have a church that bands together to persuade an assault victim and her family not to go to the police, and therefore….the blame for that is on the family? Seriously?

Mark did not say this and obviously did not mean any such thing.

Yes, if a group of people convince you to ignore your child being raped.. you bet the blame is on you. ALSO, the church is full of scum bags who need to be punished for covering a felony. That church has totally failed. But I am not giving a pass to the family that many of you seem to want to do. You child was abused man… step up! Protect your child! Seek justice. And if your “friend” or “pastor” tells you to “turn the cheek”, do so by leaving, and then report the crime.

And I quote:

This is her family’s guilt for not filing charges.

Guilt and blame are synonymns. Stop dodging what you said, Mark, and stop covering for this, LaVern. If you say the family is guilty, you have blamed them. It is that simple. Mark is moreover doubling and tripling down on this by ignoring how difficult it is to stand up to authorities and leave social structures, and instead simply demands that victims “flip the bird” at people they’ve loved.

Sorry, LaVern, this is not that complicated.

Aspiring to be a stick in the mud.

Bert, I don’t think you are understanding my point. Reread my last comment. I’m not covering up for Mark and I didn’t actually say anything related to his argument. I’m pushing back on your statement that it is the fault of the victim’s family that the church is mishandling the situation.

Mr. LaVern G. Carpenter

Proverbs 3:1-12

No, I understand your claim completely, LaVern, and the trouble is that it simply happens to be false. “Guilt” and “blame” are synonymns, so when Mark says the family is “guilty”, he is blaming them. When you blame the family, you are implicitly saying it is their “fault”, to use your word. Own it, brother. (and apologize)

Reality here that I’m trying to get across to you and Mark (and others) is that victims, especially young ones, generally find themselves caught between two powerful imperatives, that if what happened to them vs. what their social and authority structures are recommending. And if you blame, or assign guilt, or say it’s their fault, what you’re telling them, in effect, is to show up cheerfully for the blanket party you and your friends have set up for them.

To put it mildly, you’re not going to be ministering to very many survivors with that attitude.

Aspiring to be a stick in the mud.

I bought the book after reading this review. It’s a real eye-opener for what some people are dealing with inside. Thanks for the recommendation.

The church can mishandle the situation AND the family be responsible for not reporting a crime at the same time.

No one at Rachel’s church MADE HER FAMILY not report the abuse. They chose to not report it. That is on the parents. Yes, is that so hard to acknowledge.

Did the church do right in apparently encouraging them to not report the abuse? NO!

Does the church’s fault mean that Rachel’s family is free and clear of their lack of support for her? No.

Can families chose not to report because they think that is better for their child? Yes.

But then don’t complain 25 years later about that choice and try to blame it all on the church.

[Bert Perry]

No, I understand your claim completely, LaVern, and the trouble is that it simply happens to be false. “Guilt” and “blame” are synonymns, so when Mark says the family is “guilty”, he is blaming them. When you blame the family, you are implicitly saying it is their “fault”, to use your word. Own it, brother. (and apologize)

Bert, the fault I refer to is not reporting the crime. Not the crime itself. I would think that is obvious.

No, I understand your claim completely, LaVern, and the trouble is that it simply happens to be false. “Guilt” and “blame” are synonymns, so when Mark says the family is “guilty”, he is blaming them. When you blame the family, you are implicitly saying it is their “fault”, to use your word. Own it, brother. (and apologize)

I’m confused why you push back on something I never said. I can’t apologize for something I didn’t do. I’ll leave it at that.

Mr. LaVern G. Carpenter

Proverbs 3:1-12

Mark, it is precisely your notion that the victims and family ought to be blamed if they do not report that I am contesting. If we are held accountable for what we know, we ought to be able to point to a lot of teaching about the importance of reporting, how it’s better to air the dirty laundry, and the like.

However, reality is that we see just the opposite. Cover things up, minimize the offense, treat people harshly if they don’t do what we think is right, etc.. If people learn from what we (our institutions) teach them, what we see is exactly what we’d expect. Worth noting as well is that when I put provisions into a church child safety manual to deal with these tendencies, one deacon’s revision eliminated them. Don’t think for a minute that they don’t exist in your church or institutions you care about. These things need to be confronted.

Aspiring to be a stick in the mud.

As for me, when a church covers up a crime like abuse, its candlestick is null and void. You can stay at one when the pastor asks you to cover it up, I’m gone, brother.