Genesis, Submission & Modern Wives
By Georgia Purdom. © Answers in Genesis. Used with permission. All rights reserved.
Common Misconceptions
The verses most commonly quoted concerning the wife’s role in relation to the husband’s role are Ephesians 5:22 and Colossians 3:18:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord (Eph. 5:22).
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord (Col. 3:18).
Many women struggle with the concept of submission in marriage because they mistakenly equate being submissive with being inferior. From Genesis we know that men and women are equal in God’s eyes because everyone, regardless of gender, is made in God’s image. Genesis 1:27 states, “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”
Eve was made from a rib from Adam’s side (Genesis 2:21), which also infers equality with Adam. I really enjoy the way the famous seventeenth–century Bible commentator, Matthew Henry, writes about Eve’s creation from Adam:
Not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.1
Galatians 3:28 also makes clear that both men and women are equal in their personal worth before God. Jesus Christ came to save all people who put their trust in Him, regardless of their gender, nationality, or place in society.
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Here’s another way to think about it. John 6:38 and many other passages throughout Scripture show Christ’s submission to God’s authority. If being submissive means being inferior, then Christ, in being submissive to the authority of God the Father, is inferior to God.
However, Scripture makes it clear that the Father and Jesus are both equally God. Jesus claims, “I and My Father are one” (John 10:30). Jesus and God the Father have different roles within the Trinity, but in their personhood they are equally God. Likewise, a wife and husband have different roles in marriage, but they are equally loved by God and equally bear His image.
Another common misconception is that the role of Adam as leader and Eve as helper was a result of the Fall and not part of God’s original created roles for husbands and wives. Many evangelical feminists, such as Rebecca Groothius, assert this blatant misreading of God’s Word.
In fact, there is no mention of either spouse ruling over the other—until after their fall into sin, when God declares to the woman that “he will rule over you” (3:16). This is stated by God not as a command, but as a consequence of their sin.2
However, a plain reading of God’s Word makes it clear that Adam’s original created role was to be a leader in the family and Eve’s original created role was to be a helper to her husband and family.
God created Adam first and gave him the authority to not only name the animals (which he and Eve were to have dominion over) but also to name his wife (he first called her woman [Genesis 2:23] before the Fall and then later Eve [Genesis 3:20] after the Fall). In Old Testament times, this was considered a sign of authority for the person doing the naming.
God signified that He was going to make a “helper comparable to him [Adam]” (Genesis 2:18). The role of helper would be understood as someone who helps the person doing the leading. Paul considered the order of creation of Adam and Eve significant and used it as a reason for insisting on male leadership in the church (1 Timothy 2:12–13). Paul affirms male headship in the home in 1 Corinthians 11:9 by reminding readers of Genesis 1, “Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.”
The original created roles of husband/leader and wife/helper can also be understood from the curse on Adam and Eve as a result of the Fall. God said to Eve:
I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule you. (Genesis 3:16)
What does it mean that Eve would “desire” her husband? The same grammatical construction is used in Genesis 4:7 when God says to Cain:
If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.
God is saying to Cain that sin will want to rule him (“desire is for you”) but that Cain should rule over sin instead. Applied to Genesis 3:16, Eve will want to rule over Adam (“your desire shall be for your husband”) as a part of the curse. So, if the curse is that Eve would want to rule or lead Adam, then that must not have been Eve’s role before the Fall and she was originally created to be a helper not a leader. Otherwise, it’s not much of a curse—Eve originally led and she’s to keep on leading? In response to Eve’s wrong desire to lead, Adam would react sinfully by leading harshly instead of lovingly. Eve would desire to reverse roles of leader and helper, and Adam would react by wrongly distorting his leadership role.3
Another important support for the original created roles of husband/leader and wife/helper is found in the attribution of sin to Adam not to Eve. How many times have you heard someone say, “It was all the woman’s (meaning Eve) fault,” or, “We wouldn’t be in this mess (cursed world) if it weren’t for a woman”? I always cringe when I hear statements such as that because they are not biblical!
It is true that Eve was the first one to sin but whom did God question first after Adam and Eve sinned? Adam was questioned first because he was the leader of the family. To whom is sin attributed throughout all of Scripture? Adam (see 1 Corinthians 15:22, 15:45; Romans 5:15). Why? Because as the leader, Adam was responsible for his wife Eve; he shirked that responsibility by following her leading in disobedience to God and eating the forbidden fruit.
Interestingly, when God tells Adam and Eve His plan to redeem mankind (Genesis 3:15), He says the Redeemer will be “her Seed.” So, even though Eve was the first to sin, through her descendants would come mankind’s Redeemer, Jesus Christ. Sin is attributed to Adam (because of his leadership role), and so spreads to all people, men and women. Redemption comes through the offspring of Eve: the Messiah.
Scripture makes it clear, beginning in Genesis, that Adam was created to be the leader, and Eve was created to be the helper in the marriage relationship. Both men and women are equal before God as His image-bearers. But they have different roles in marriage, much like the differing roles yet equality within the Trinity.
Why Do Modern Wives Struggle with This Issue Today?
The number one reason is sin. Through Eve, all women bear the weight of the Curse in this specific area, so we will always struggle with this issue to some extent. The passages in Ephesians and Colossians instruct husbands and wives on their original created roles in marriage to bring restoration to marriage that has been marred by sin.
How many of you have seen the TV show Jon and Kate Plus Eight? I’m sure many of you have, and even if you haven’t, you’ve perhaps heard about it. The show is part of the reality TV genre depicting the life of a married couple, Jon and Kate, and their children comprised of a set of twins and a set of sextuplets. Jon and Kate decided to divorce in 2009, and there was a lot of speculation as to why they were having problems and made this decision. In an episode aired earlier that year, Jon and Kate discuss whether to continue the show for another season.
Kate: “I’m loving what we’re doing so we just have to figure it out.”
Jon: “Yeah it’s really difficult, for me, on my end.”
Kate: “And I’m very happy.”
Jon: “So there you go, there’s your conflict.”4
The conflict in and of itself is not bad, but how they are handling it is. Kate makes it clear (in this episode and others) that she wants to be the leader in the family and will not submit to Jon’s authority. Jon tends to be very passive and doesn’t take the leadership role. They have reversed their roles, and as a result they are miserable. Instead of seeking divorce, they need to read God’s Word and understand the cause of their problem and the solution.
Another reason women struggle today with submission to their husbands is the differences between the role of women in the workplace and in the home. More women today work outside the home than ever before, and often they are in male-dominated fields like science, engineering, and business.
I know the struggles these women face. I was the only woman in my class to complete a PhD. I was the only female biology professor at the Christian college where I taught. I am one of very few female creation scientists and the only one in the U.S. who I am aware of speaking and researching on creation full-time.
Women often feel that they have to work hard to be seen as equal to men in many professions. Women have achieved success and leadership roles. However, some of us tend to view life as a continuum and don’t separate our professional and personal lives like men do. The leadership mentality in the workplace tends to carry over into marriage and problems arise. Women (including myself) need to do a better job at recognizing and separating their roles in the workplace from their roles in the home.
Wifely submission is not an indication that women are inferior to men, nor is it a result of sin and the Fall. Instead, husbands and wives are equal as image-bearers of God with distinct roles in marriage as leaders (husbands) and helpers (wives). When we accept the authority of God’s Word and fulfill those roles, our marriages can thrive and—for those that need it—can be restored.
Notes
1 Matthew Henry, “Notes on Genesis 2:21–25,” Commentary on the Whole Bible, vol. I, (Genesis to Deuteronomy).
2 Rebecca Groothuis, Good News For Women: A Biblical Picture of Gender Equality (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, 1997), p. 123.
3 Some people interpret this passage differently.
4 Jon and Kate Plus Eight, “Family Outing,” Aired March 23, 2009 (Season 4, Episode 41).
Georgia Purdom specializes in cellular and molecular biology and has a PhD in Molecular Genetics from Ohio State University. Following graduation, Dr. Purdom served as a professor of biology for six years at Mount Vernon Nazarene University in Ohio. She has published papers in several scientific journals as well as numerous lay-friendly and semi-technical articles in Answers magazine and on the AiG website. She is a regular speaker in the Creation Museum Speaker Series and has spoken at many AiG conferences.
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To test the way you are taking it — “the head cannot exist without the body” — let me ask one question. Can Christ exist without the Church?
Actually as Head, He cannot. There’s no headship without bodyship. … for whatever that’s worth. It’s a relationship word.
I’m not sure I’d want to say authority itself is pointless. I can’t quite put my finger on just what at the moment, but it is more than a means to an end… Or at least, sometimes it is more than a means to an end.
I guess I can get at a little bit of it. In God’s case, even if He never told anybody to do anything, all authority would belong to Him as part of His character, His identity. In that case, it has meaning even apart from how He uses it to accomplish other things. But I have to quickly concede that nobody’s relationship to authority is the same as God’s relationship to it. For everybody else, it’s derivative. For Him, it’s self-existent.
Still, I’m not sure I’m ready to say it’s purely a means to an end, even on a human level. I’ve got a feeling there is meaning in it, in itself. But yeah, “a feeling” is not much to work with. :D
This is when husbands really need to stand up and protect their wives from this kind of manipulative influence. An ideal opportunity to exercise headship in my mind and a wonderful chance for a women to submit herself to her husband’s leading, despite her emotions that may tell she is somehow not spiritual enough because of xyz behavior.
This is true, but I wonder how often this happens in relationships where wives are not willing to submit in reference to much simpler things. But now we’re getting into cases of application. We all know that authority is regularly botched by people on both ends of it.
Views expressed are always my own and not my employer's, my church's, my family's, my neighbors', or my pets'. The house plants have authorized me to speak for them, however, and they always agree with me.
[handerson] I get frustrated when I see godly women—who by and large are doing a fantastic job—being pressured and burdened by strict patriarchal positions. These women are already sensitive to the Holy Spirit so when someone speaks in “God’s name” and questions the details of how their home operates, they feel inordinate and unnecessary pressure. This is when husbands really need to stand up and protect their wives from this kind of manipulative influence. An ideal opportunity to exercise headship in my mind and a wonderful chance for a women to submit herself to her husband’s leading, despite her emotions that may tell she is somehow not spiritual enough because of xyz behavior.
We, generally speaking, understand that segments of the patriarchal movement, (if not all of it), are problematic. But maybe you haven’t seen some of the teaching and conditioning that is taught by many who DON’T consider themselves patriarchal, so you don’t recognize the point of this paragraph. Maybe you are scratching your head and wondering if some of us are tilting at windmills.
But when you’ve witnessed women being called rebels and heifers because they gave their husband driving directions or reminded him of something important that he has forgotten, then you understand why men and women need to know the proper balance of authority and humility. I’ve witnessed women being berated over very minor things that, quite frankly, were none of the pastor’s business. How a woman helps her husband should largely be a private matter, and the only time anyone else needs to intervene is if there are serious spiritual or moral implications in the way they interact. Telling your husband that he forgot to button down his collar does not make a woman a Jezebel. I. Am. Not. Exaggerating. And I thank God every day that my husband never bought into that mess.
That said, even if a woman is being unsubmissive, is the appropriate response of authority to start calling her names and go all Scarlet Letter on her?
Many, MANY women I’ve known over the years strive to be submissive under almost impossible circumstances, and they get beaten down, emotionally and spiritually, to a pulp. It’s subtle but pervasive. Authority for us as human beings should be a very humbling and awe-inspiring responsibility, not an opportunity to manipulate, dominate, and control. Grasping that authority has a deep spiritual meaning and an eternal purpose should act as a balance and even edge us toward the exercise of authority as loving guidance, nurturing, and protection. Only God is given the authority to judge men’s souls, and just because the husband is compared to Christ doesn’t mean he gets to try to apply that analogy to its fullest extent.
if some person addressed my wife in the fashion you cited above in you negative examples, he’d be answering to me in a New York minute.
As head of household, I’m the captain of my ship. I’m the one responsible for setting my executive officer’s (first mate) duties and responsibilities (As a engineering major she does numbers a whole lot better than I do. Guess who handles the check book and day to day finances). So, the individual is insulting me in addition to my wife.
Hoping to shed more light than heat..
See, I think that’s another huge mistake comps can make—making submission the main aspect of the wife’s way of relating to her husband. it makes for a seriously cock-eyed relationship (in our culture, esp.) and why women get so confused. like if you husband is sinning, its more helpful to search out how to love him rather than how am i submitting to or whether or not I should submit to such-and-such. the love question has a much more encompassing presentation of answers and choices and obligations.
That’s why I titled my post ‘Conditioning’- because it takes years of subtle nudging before a previously intelligent and loving person could accept such nonsense. I watched nice guys enter Bible college as loving young men who respected their mothers and sisters, and graduate as men who had no problem making demands from the women in their lives, referring to them as ‘heifers’ or reminding them that they are ‘woman’ because they were taken out of man. I even heard one guy say that women were just men with wombs, and that the word ‘woman’ was a shortened version of ‘womb-man’.
I think alien abductions would explain a lot.
:-)
There have been many times in our marriage where my husband has helped free me from illegitimate guilt over something. And it was directly related to my belief in his headship—I was free to not feel guilty about such and such because he told me “it’s no big deal and you just get over it,” :-) Of course, it was much more nuanced than that, but knowing that I was responsible to follow his authority in my life rather than a ministry or pastor’s expectations saved me from being overwrought and burdened by their manipulation.
Maybe that’s part of the beauty of marital headship as well—it helps you sort through who you’re responsible to and who you are not responsible to.
[handerson]It’s been discussed on SI before about how the church and family interacts as far as authority goes- where does the church’s begin and end in relation to the family. Husbands are under just as much pressure to submit to pastoral authority as wives are to husbands sometimes, and they can inadvertently pass that on. For instance, the ladies of the church are doing something- a Bible study, for instance. The pastor makes it clear all the ladies should attend. Wife’s schedule is full enough as it is, and she doesn’t believe she can fit that in. Pastor tells husband that he needs to figure something out so she can go. Husband begins to pressure wife to go, and she feels guilty because 1) it’s a Bible study, which of course could NEVER be a bad thing 2) obviously there is something she could cut out of her life, like maybe breathing, so she can attend 3) her husband obviously wants her to go, so she needs to ‘submit’. Only she’s not really submitting to what her husband wants, but to the pressure that is being brought to bear against him by another man. And since the church is the pillar and ground of the truth, and the pastor knows best, they both feel that they must submit to the pastor’s authority.There have been many times in our marriage where my husband has helped free me from illegitimate guilt over something. And it was directly related to my belief in his headship—I was free to not feel guilty about such and such because he told me “it’s no big deal and you just get over it,” :-) Of course, it was much more nuanced than that, but knowing that I was responsible to follow his authority in my life rather than a ministry or pastor’s expectations saved me from being overwrought and burdened by their manipulation.
Maybe that’s part of the beauty of marital headship as well—it helps you sort through who you’re responsible to and who you are not responsible to.
Without proper limitations, even inside the home-headship dynamic, people become little more than marionettes with 12 different people pulling their strings, and no voice of the Lord or moving of the Spirit for all the ruckus.
And I was speaking to those so conditioned. But then, I’m a San Franciscan. So, I feel like a stranger in a strange land back East.
[Susan R]That’s why I titled my post ‘Conditioning’- because it takes years of subtle nudging before a previously intelligent and loving person could accept such nonsense. I watched nice guys enter Bible college as loving young men who respected their mothers and sisters, and graduate as men who had no problem making demands from the women in their lives, referring to them as ‘heifers’ or reminding them that they are ‘woman’ because they were taken out of man. I even heard one guy say that women were just men with wombs, and that the word ‘woman’ was a shortened version of ‘womb-man’.
I think alien abductions would explain a lot.
Hoping to shed more light than heat..
I’m lucky to have a husband who (for good or bad :-) ) isn’t that easily influenced by peer pressure. But you’re right —in the end, it does come down to an issue of soul liberty and teaching men that headship involves courage and the fortitude to seek God’s will for your home and then to stick by it.
[Susan R][handerson] I get frustrated when I see godly women—who by and large are doing a fantastic job—being pressured and burdened by strict patriarchal positions. These women are already sensitive to the Holy Spirit so when someone speaks in “God’s name” and questions the details of how their home operates, they feel inordinate and unnecessary pressure. This is when husbands really need to stand up and protect their wives from this kind of manipulative influence. An ideal opportunity to exercise headship in my mind and a wonderful chance for a women to submit herself to her husband’s leading, despite her emotions that may tell she is somehow not spiritual enough because of xyz behavior.We, generally speaking, understand that segments of the patriarchal movement, (if not all of it), are problematic. But maybe you haven’t seen some of the teaching and conditioning that is taught by many who DON’T consider themselves patriarchal, so you don’t recognize the point of this paragraph. Maybe you are scratching your head and wondering if some of us are tilting at windmills.
But when you’ve witnessed women being called rebels and heifers because they gave their husband driving directions or reminded him of something important that he has forgotten, then you understand why men and women need to know the proper balance of authority and humility. I’ve witnessed women being berated over very minor things that, quite frankly, were none of the pastor’s business. How a woman helps her husband should largely be a private matter, and the only time anyone else needs to intervene is if there are serious spiritual or moral implications in the way they interact. Telling your husband that he forgot to button down his collar does not make a woman a Jezebel. I. Am. Not. Exaggerating. And I thank God every day that my husband never bought into that mess.
That said, even if a woman is being unsubmissive, is the appropriate response of authority to start calling her names and go all Scarlet Letter on her?
Many, MANY women I’ve known over the years strive to be submissive under almost impossible circumstances, and they get beaten down, emotionally and spiritually, to a pulp. It’s subtle but pervasive. Authority for us as human beings should be a very humbling and awe-inspiring responsibility, not an opportunity to manipulate, dominate, and control. Grasping that authority has a deep spiritual meaning and an eternal purpose should act as a balance and even edge us toward the exercise of authority as loving guidance, nurturing, and protection. Only God is given the authority to judge men’s souls, and just because the husband is compared to Christ doesn’t mean he gets to try to apply that analogy to its fullest extent.
Bless you both Susan and Hannah. I have been “reproved” for reminding my husband-who is a pastor- of things or correcting some typing error because that was not submissive (forget the fact that my husband asked me to remind him and asked me to tell him of typing errors) I was reproved for having gently chided him for a ungracious comment (privately). When he used it as a sermon illustration in a positive light, I was accused by another church member of “playing the Holy Spirit”.
When I gently chided him for his comment I almost didn’t say anything because the whole “hyper-submission” stuff I had been exposed to seemed to say I should NEVER do such a thing, but as I thought about it I was reminded of the verse in matt 18 that talks about how to deal with a brother who has sinned. I have a responsibility to my husband as a fellow believer as well as a wife. I will admit that some of the hyper submission stuff still hangs on. I still experience a guilt (false) when I go against some of its teachings even though they are not scriptural teachings. (BTW— none of this comes from my husband. He was shocked when I came to him with some books that taught such stuff and wanted to know if I was correct in thinking that they weren’t biblical. He had never been exposed to anything like that before I showed it to him.)
Of note. I was being reproved by a fellow woman. It happened numerous times. I didn’t say anything about it at first because I didn’t want to make waves. Finally, the straw that broke the camels back was this woman telling me that I was wrong for having reproved my husband for a sinful response. She sent me a note a couple days later going into more detail about why I was wrong. When I had physical proof (the note she sent me) of what was being said as opposed to a “she said—she said” I went to my husband to figure out what to do along with my copy of “Created to be his Helpmeet” with all my notes in the margin questioning Debbie’s misuse of scripture and many of the other things that she wrote that flat out went against scripture. Fortunately he stood up for me and confronted the woman.
What is disheartening is that it seems like that book is being given to every young woman that I know that gets married. That was when I received it. Although I was exposed to those type of teachings while growing up (a lot of Gothard influence too) that was the “big push”. It was so stifling on my marriage when I was trying to do the “right things” according to Debbie Pearl. The book was promoted as being SO biblical that very few woman would even read it. It is often implied that the rest of the women were clearly not desiring to be like Christ you know. I started making notes in it when I noticed things that were not in line with scripture and finally just laid it aside. My husband was shocked with how unbiblical it was and told me to warn any newlyweds if I knew that they were going to be receiving it.
During our Bible lesson today, the kids and I were talking about peer pressure. The idea that peer pressure is unique to youth is patently silly and potentially harmful. We experience pressure to conform to societal standards throughout our lives- and I use the word ‘societal’ in the sense of our church culture as well as ‘American culture’ or ‘Western culture’. We need to instill a Godly sense of confidence (established in faith and character) in our kids so that they won’t be blown around by various theological winds now and when they become adults.
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