Book Review: The Faces of Grief

Talley-Cunningham, Marian. The Faces of Grief: A Women’s Bible Study. Greenville, SC: BJU Press, 2007. Paperback, 112 pages. $7.95.

Reviewed by Barbara Ritsema

(Review copy courtesy of JourneyForth.)

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Table of Contents | Preface | Sample Chapter

Marian Talley-Cunningham is the aftercare coordinator for Tharp Funeral Home.

The Faces of Grief is a twelve-chapter Bible study designed for women who have experienced the death of a loved one. Many sections of chapters are written specifically for widows rather than women who have experienced the death of a child, another relative, or a friend.

Each chapter of the study book focuses on a stage of the grieving process, such as questioning why the death occurred, feelings of separation, change, anger, loneliness, fear, worry, depression and moving on. Introductory comments are followed by questions that relate to each particular stage of grief. Participants are directed to Scripture verses to read, to respond to in writing individually, and to discuss as a group. Included in some chapters are appropriate songs or poems. A printed prayer concludes each chapter. To allow for group sharing and discussion, most chapters should be covered in more than one session.

The strengths of this Bible study guide are the consistent format, the frequent references to Scripture within each chapter, and the questions that would encourage group discussion regarding each stage of grief. Another strength is that the author addresses the truth that some depression is clinical depression and may require professional Christian counseling or even medication.

As an experienced Bible study leader, I think that it would be best for any leader using this book to be aware of the spiritual, physical, emotional, and social needs of the study group members in order to be selective as to which parts of each chapter are most appropriate to facilitate a healing grief process. Persons who are interested in assisting others to work through the grief process might benefit from participation in the study, but one of the weaknesses of this study guide is that the questions and comments are specifically addressed to the woman whose relative, and usually the husband, has died. Another weakness is how the stage of anger is addressed. Although this chapter includes useful Scripture references, it is deficient in providing realistic, positive ways to work through feelings of anger outside of reading and directly obeying Scripture. Having worked with many people as they grieved, I know that anger can be a recurring feeling.

Those experiencing anger can benefit from professional Christian counseling as well as the support of Christian friends.

Comments throughout the book such as, “Your first priority in adversity should be to honor and glorify God by trusting Him” (p. 7) and the implication that every fearful feeling is a sin will require careful discussion, especially for those whose spouse has recently died. Deaths occurring due to a crime or war are not addressed. In my community, many who are grieving are related to those causes of death. Thinking of one’s own situation first before glorifying God and being fearful of more crime occurring are real circumstances among the grieving with whom I have worked.

The Faces of Grief can be a useful Bible study guide for an experienced leader who is familiar with what the Bible teaches about death, grief, and the hope of eternal life. The leader must also understand the complexity of the grieving process and the varied ways in which people from different social and ethnic backgrounds work through the process.