Satire: Dymo LabelWriter 400 Prevalent at SBC 2009

Dymo LabelWriter 400 Prevalent at SBC 2009

Excerpt:

“Capable of producing over 40 label styles and sizes, the LabelWriter 400 is the small, fast and functional label printer for everyday use,” touts the DYMO website. Well, it apparently can also withstand the pressures of constant convention use. These handy labelers could be seen everywhere at the SBC Convention this week. “You just can’t tell by their look who anyone is any more,” said Al Duncer, a 65 year member of a SBC church outside of Little Rock. In a crowd of nearly 9,000 messengers of all shapes and sizes, it has become almost impossible to distinguish theological stances simply by appearance. Some theological conservatives do wear jeans and have hair covering the ears, while some liberals have perfectly parted hair with spit-shined shoes and a tie tack. So, how did the Dymo LabelWriter 400 help? Approximately 50 self-serve Dymo LabelWriter stations were available at strategic points around the halls of the convention center and in the main assembly area. For the perfect cost of $0.00, at any time, anyone could walk up to a station, print out a label, peel off the backing, and stick the label on his own shirt, coat, forehead, arm, etc.

Dave Doran would appreciate it