Companions/Family Interactions
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How do you go about choosing companions for your children? Are ‘church’ kids their friends by default? Or do you purposefully try to find a variety of Christian friends for them to interact with? Do they ever fellowship with unsaved/unchurched kids, and if so, are they supervised in any way?
How do you handle it when a family has different standards of proper behavior/activities than your family? How about when a friend seems to be bent on foolishness - do you talk to the parents about the situation? If you can’t reach a solution, do you tell your kids not to hang around them any more? Has your kid ever been the one other parents were concerned about, and what did you do?
I wonder how some of these situations should be handled inside the church family- as parents we tend to be very sensitive about our children, but I would think the goal would be for parents to work together to help each other out- not in a ‘it takes a village’ kind of way, but in a manner that fulfills our mandate to edify and encourage one another. However, what I often see is the formation of an Us vs Them mentality, with parents holding grudges against children and other parents because of the kinds of situation that arise when kids get together to play. Not a good model of Christian fellowship for our kids to follow, I think. And it is something that can affect the entire church if allowed to brew uninterrupted.
Your thoughts?
How do you handle it when a family has different standards of proper behavior/activities than your family? How about when a friend seems to be bent on foolishness - do you talk to the parents about the situation? If you can’t reach a solution, do you tell your kids not to hang around them any more? Has your kid ever been the one other parents were concerned about, and what did you do?
I wonder how some of these situations should be handled inside the church family- as parents we tend to be very sensitive about our children, but I would think the goal would be for parents to work together to help each other out- not in a ‘it takes a village’ kind of way, but in a manner that fulfills our mandate to edify and encourage one another. However, what I often see is the formation of an Us vs Them mentality, with parents holding grudges against children and other parents because of the kinds of situation that arise when kids get together to play. Not a good model of Christian fellowship for our kids to follow, I think. And it is something that can affect the entire church if allowed to brew uninterrupted.
Your thoughts?
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how old are these kids? “choosing companions” seems a bit heavy-handed. real friendships form much more organically.
“christian fellowship” doesn’t require being very good friends. it requires tolerance of a lot of people we wouldn’t normally put ourselves so close to.
don’t have kids, but i’ve been one.
“christian fellowship” doesn’t require being very good friends. it requires tolerance of a lot of people we wouldn’t normally put ourselves so close to.
don’t have kids, but i’ve been one.
The Bible has alot to say about our choice of companions, and part of parenting is to help our kids choose wise and Godly companions. That isn’t negated just because a child is young and it ‘doesn’t matter’, nor when a child is older and has a drivers license and can get to the mall under their own steam. I think the first rule of thumb is how we teach our kids to make friends with other Christians (assuming our own children are saved), since we are compelled by Scripture not to bond with unbelievers. Then we are told that “evil communications corrupt good manners” (1Cor. 15:33), that “a companion of fools shall be destroyed” (Prov. 13:20), and just look at the influence of Jonadab on Amnon (2Sam 13:3).
‘Choosing’ might sound like a strong word, but that is what parents do, whether passively or actively. We often organize our kids’ lives so that they come into contact with the people we feel will benefit them most- we tell them who can come over to play, what homes they are allowed to visit… we control their internet access and cell phone usage… that’s ‘choosing’ their companions.
Even in a well-grounded church family, there are still going to be some kids who are problematic- they may be lost, or backslidden and rebellious, or their parents allow behaviors and activities that we object to… so when a parent doesn’t allow their child to hang out with another child, it can create tension. I’ve always tried to be a help in this area, and not just circle my wagons and isolate myself and my kids. IOW, I talk to other parents about my concerns. But I still have a responsibility as a parent not to put my kids in a bad position that they might not be mature enough to handle. That’s why I’m asking other parents how they’ve handled this with their own kids, especially in venues such as church and school.
‘Choosing’ might sound like a strong word, but that is what parents do, whether passively or actively. We often organize our kids’ lives so that they come into contact with the people we feel will benefit them most- we tell them who can come over to play, what homes they are allowed to visit… we control their internet access and cell phone usage… that’s ‘choosing’ their companions.
Even in a well-grounded church family, there are still going to be some kids who are problematic- they may be lost, or backslidden and rebellious, or their parents allow behaviors and activities that we object to… so when a parent doesn’t allow their child to hang out with another child, it can create tension. I’ve always tried to be a help in this area, and not just circle my wagons and isolate myself and my kids. IOW, I talk to other parents about my concerns. But I still have a responsibility as a parent not to put my kids in a bad position that they might not be mature enough to handle. That’s why I’m asking other parents how they’ve handled this with their own kids, especially in venues such as church and school.
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