Is Accountability Biblical??
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A few week ago, I had a private conversation with someone who is in a teaching role at our church. During this conversation I was made aware that this individual had fallen in the area of pornography. He felt that the Lord was using some medical issues he was having as a way to “get his attention”. As I began to gather some information from him, he stated that he had repented of his sin, and had not fallen again in this area since last November. As I began to speak tohim about the need for him to be accountable with someone about this, he strongly disagreed with me. Stating that he was not going to accountable to anyone but the Lord. In fact, he compared accountability to the Roman Catholic system of confession, and stated that the Lord was the only one who needed to know about his struggles. I shared Galatians 6:2, “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” I also shared James 5:16, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” His response was that I had taken those verses out of context, and they speak to specific actions done by one person against another, and therefore the command is to clear up specific wrongs, not a general command for accountability. I have a few questions:
#1 - How do you think the Lord would desire for this situation to be delt with?
- Does his sin disqualify him from his teaching role? (His admission to me was voluntary, as in, he was not found “in sin”.)
- My concern here is that I do not want to over react, yet I do not want to under react either. Most men have commited adultery of the mind (Matthew 5:28, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”).
- Should I leave him in the position with the understanding that I will ask him periodically how he is doing, and if he has a problem with that level of accountability, then ask him to step down?
- I know that this shouldn’t play into it, but being transparent…it does: This man is a very popular teacher in our church, and I am the new pastor (here a little more than a month). I’m fairly confident that if I ask him to step down he will leave the church taking others with him. Like I said, I know that shouldn’t play into my decision-making, but it does…it adds a whole other level of complexity for me, because I do not want to damage the church.
- I guess the real issue is whether he is disqualified, if you believe that he is disqualified, do you believe that he can be restored? And how would lay out a restoration process in this situation?
Edited to fix formatting.
- 1 view
you have to admit that those two verses don’t fit this situation very well. the first is about restoration from public sin and the other is about a sin connected with a physical problem that the elders are trying to heal. neither speak about a one-on-one no-questions-barred accountability partner. you’ll have to come up with a better reason before you’ll get the degree of transparency you want.
maybe there’s an issue of trust. you’re new and in a position of power that could threaten the status quo. does he trust you enough to be open when their could be consequences? it seems like he mentioned the issue in passing, not expecting it to be an issue.
i find his response interesting. what is his scriptural basis for zero human accountability and especially among church leaders? i assume he’s married and at least open about this issue with his wife. or is he just saying that that degree of transparency is only between him and God?
maybe there’s an issue of trust. you’re new and in a position of power that could threaten the status quo. does he trust you enough to be open when their could be consequences? it seems like he mentioned the issue in passing, not expecting it to be an issue.
i find his response interesting. what is his scriptural basis for zero human accountability and especially among church leaders? i assume he’s married and at least open about this issue with his wife. or is he just saying that that degree of transparency is only between him and God?
Yes, I do readily admit that those verses are not the best verses to use for “proof texts”. That’s why I’m asking for others to weigh in on this, and help me with verses that they think would apply to this situation.
This gentleman is not married, therefore, is literally not accountable on any level.
You may be right about his lack of trust; however, his body language, tone, and attitude during our conversation suggested to me that it was a disagreement, not an issue of trust. I do not think he expects this to be an issue at all, and that is part of my question, should it be an issue, or should he be allowed to stay.
What would you do, if this was a situation in your church?
This gentleman is not married, therefore, is literally not accountable on any level.
You may be right about his lack of trust; however, his body language, tone, and attitude during our conversation suggested to me that it was a disagreement, not an issue of trust. I do not think he expects this to be an issue at all, and that is part of my question, should it be an issue, or should he be allowed to stay.
What would you do, if this was a situation in your church?
Serving the Savior, Pastor Wes Helfenbein 2 Cor. 5:17
Why did this man tell you about the porn situation in the first place? How did the subject come up? Did he indicate he has an ongoing problem with lust, or that he was satisfying curiosity, or what? In advising accountability, were you suggesting it as a means of gaining victory over an ongoing problem?
From what you’ve disclosed thus far, I wouldn’t ask the man to relinquish his teaching position. I would endeavor to build a good, positive relationship with him so he knows he can be honest with you without fearing you’ll respond with some quick reaction. With that relationship established, you could periodically—say every 6 months?—ask if he’s stayed away from inappropriate sites (but only if he indicated he’s got a lust problem).
From what you’ve disclosed thus far, I wouldn’t ask the man to relinquish his teaching position. I would endeavor to build a good, positive relationship with him so he knows he can be honest with you without fearing you’ll respond with some quick reaction. With that relationship established, you could periodically—say every 6 months?—ask if he’s stayed away from inappropriate sites (but only if he indicated he’s got a lust problem).
BryanBice…
The subject came up because the man had been out of his class for a few months due to unknown medical issues. He has had many test, and the dr.’s cannot figure out the problem.
When I went to visit him, he made the statement that he thought these medical issues was the hand of God of his life judgeing him for his sins. I then asked what made his think God would deal with him in such a way. He then proceeded to tell me that he has struggeled with pornography off and on, and every so often God would bring an event into is life that would get his attention. He said that he thinks these “events” are getting more and more serious, and that this last “judgement event” has been the worst to date. He then stated that he repented and confessed his last “fall in to porn” that Novenber and had been “clean” ever since, with not even a temptation.
My advisement of accountabiliy was a suggestion as a means to overcomming this ongoing problem that he stated he had been prone to.
Bryan, you mentioned an “every 6 month” questioning. What would be your response if he refused even that level of accountability??
The subject came up because the man had been out of his class for a few months due to unknown medical issues. He has had many test, and the dr.’s cannot figure out the problem.
When I went to visit him, he made the statement that he thought these medical issues was the hand of God of his life judgeing him for his sins. I then asked what made his think God would deal with him in such a way. He then proceeded to tell me that he has struggeled with pornography off and on, and every so often God would bring an event into is life that would get his attention. He said that he thinks these “events” are getting more and more serious, and that this last “judgement event” has been the worst to date. He then stated that he repented and confessed his last “fall in to porn” that Novenber and had been “clean” ever since, with not even a temptation.
My advisement of accountabiliy was a suggestion as a means to overcomming this ongoing problem that he stated he had been prone to.
Bryan, you mentioned an “every 6 month” questioning. What would be your response if he refused even that level of accountability??
Serving the Savior, Pastor Wes Helfenbein 2 Cor. 5:17
Bryan, you mentioned an “every 6 month” questioning. What would be your response if he refused even that level of accountability??First, the time frame is arbitrary….could be more or less often. But, second, (I think) I would handle this informally. In other words, instead of saying, “Hey, how about if I ask you every few months how you’re doing with this?”, I would work on deepening my relationship with the man. Then occasionally, when the opportunity presented itself, I’d just simply ask, “So how goes the battle?” or some such question. As he becomes comfortable sharing and expresses frustration with defeat, offer suggestions for barriers (i.e. Safe Eyes internet filtering—offer to be the admin on his account). If, after an extended period of interaction with him—say 12-18 months—and he reveals he’s living more in defeat than in victory, lead him to question whether he ought to be teaching given his ongoing failures. My guess is, if he’s sensitive enough to conclude that his medical problems are a form of chastening for his sin, he’d be sensitive enough to reach the conclusion of a teaching sabbatical. I think what’s key in all of this is that the guy sees you as a concerned, helping shepherd rather than an authority figure who can in some way “punish” him.
I know there’s been a lot of emphasis in recent years about setting up formal accountability partnerships, and I’m sure they can be very helpful. But the fact is, guys in general are sort of wired against them—not many of us are that “relational.” My impression is it takes a great deal of time to teach & model such a setup so that men will gradually come to accept it; but even then, a lot of guys just won’t go for it. And, of course, you’ll have a hard time finding any scripture that legitimately mandates this. You also have to be careful how you view those who aren’t interested in a formal accountability arrangement. The tendency is to jump to conclusions and assume they’ve got something to hide. In reality, they’re probably just being guys
I do think that accountability is a helpful practice. We are starting a test small group at our church, and we are making bi-weekly accountability a part of it. Our basis for doing this is that we think we see something of this sort being taught in the Scriptures. Did the early church call it an accountability group? Probably not, but we do.
Our Scriptural basis for this are passages such as Hebrews 3:13: Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” Other passages which we draw from in principle are Hebrews 10:24 & 1 Thessalonians 5.11.
Our Scriptural basis for this are passages such as Hebrews 3:13: Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” Other passages which we draw from in principle are Hebrews 10:24 & 1 Thessalonians 5.11.
this is how healing takes place. If you are the one person he has told about this then you are in the position to be a great help to this brother.
I see this brother’s situation this way. He is trying to deal with his sin. This shows his heart. It wasn’t like he all of a sudden got caught and blamed everybody instead of himself. It sounds like he has a serious conviction about his own sin. What he needs to do is start to have a serious conviction about justification. God has declared him righteous because of his faith in Christ. Sometimes we do obsess over our sin, and I think we should start to obsess about our Savior.
One point that bothered me about this brother is that he thinks God is causing him to get sick because of this sin. Let’s say for argument’s sake that God did do this. Well, the man has been clean from porn since November. Wouldn’t the Lord heal him since he has repented of this sin? My opinion is that this sickness is separate from his sin. May God help him to continually trust in Christ and glory in Him, knowing that 1 John 1:9 is true If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
I see this brother’s situation this way. He is trying to deal with his sin. This shows his heart. It wasn’t like he all of a sudden got caught and blamed everybody instead of himself. It sounds like he has a serious conviction about his own sin. What he needs to do is start to have a serious conviction about justification. God has declared him righteous because of his faith in Christ. Sometimes we do obsess over our sin, and I think we should start to obsess about our Savior.
One point that bothered me about this brother is that he thinks God is causing him to get sick because of this sin. Let’s say for argument’s sake that God did do this. Well, the man has been clean from porn since November. Wouldn’t the Lord heal him since he has repented of this sin? My opinion is that this sickness is separate from his sin. May God help him to continually trust in Christ and glory in Him, knowing that 1 John 1:9 is true If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Don't be a great pastor, just be a pastor and let history judge for itself.
The fact that he disclosed his problem to you has made you his accountability partner for this issue. On several levels he was already accountable to you. First, you are his pastor. Second, he teaches a class at the church. Now third you have an opportunity for personal ministry/discipleship with him. This is an opportunity to help him.
I agree with the post above that his evaluation of sickness related to his moral problem is not accurate. He needs to review God’s grace as it relates to past failure and present obedience.
You have a precious opportunity here to be pastor, friend, and brother to this man.
DJ
I agree with the post above that his evaluation of sickness related to his moral problem is not accurate. He needs to review God’s grace as it relates to past failure and present obedience.
You have a precious opportunity here to be pastor, friend, and brother to this man.
DJ
an unmarried gal in our church just left a brief adulterous relationship with a married Christian man b/c she was having problems with her kidneys, and this was what motivated her, was what God used to get her attention and turn her away from this. As much as I would like for it to have been for some “purer” reason, this is what God used.
She sent me a “random” SMS a few weeks back asking if illness was God’s punishment. I wrote her back that God can use illness to “rear” (childraise) His children, but it is always for their good (Rom 8:28).
I say this to say: while it might be true that the medical issues are not God’s “punishment”—the man is forgiven—it can still be a way that God speaks individually to this man. I would talk about the freedom of forgiveness, but I wouldn’t say something that would deny that God is using this medical situation to speak to him. It is probably the mercy of God for him.
Also, I would have him read Part 2 of martin luther’s tract ‘Concerning Christian Liberty.’ He reallyreallyreally should read this.
http://www.iclnet.org/pub/resources/text/wittenberg/luther/web/cclib-2…
She sent me a “random” SMS a few weeks back asking if illness was God’s punishment. I wrote her back that God can use illness to “rear” (childraise) His children, but it is always for their good (Rom 8:28).
I say this to say: while it might be true that the medical issues are not God’s “punishment”—the man is forgiven—it can still be a way that God speaks individually to this man. I would talk about the freedom of forgiveness, but I wouldn’t say something that would deny that God is using this medical situation to speak to him. It is probably the mercy of God for him.
Also, I would have him read Part 2 of martin luther’s tract ‘Concerning Christian Liberty.’ He reallyreallyreally should read this.
http://www.iclnet.org/pub/resources/text/wittenberg/luther/web/cclib-2…
While I agree with you all, that having a close friend in the Church, with whom we can talk about our daily lives and find encouragement, is important. It can be dangerous if we are not careful. It can be dangerous if, when the other person share with us the details of some immoral act, we do not immediately speak truthfully with the person, about the importance of repenting of our sins and seeking to live in Holiness before God. All too often, we can be tempted to want listen to all of the juicy details of their immoral acts, and in the process we corrupt our own minds/hearts. This is especially true in cases of sexual immorality. Unless we are the type of person that is firm, stable, and knows how to reprove another person in love, we can end up being influenced by the other person, instead of the other way around.
And there is also the danger that, in the case of sexual immorality, if the act comes to light, and becomes known publicly in the Church, people will ask why you did not do anything to help put a stop to it.
And there is also the danger that, in the case of sexual immorality, if the act comes to light, and becomes known publicly in the Church, people will ask why you did not do anything to help put a stop to it.
Discussion