"Hard times? Steal from big chains!" (Church of England parish priest)

I suggest visiting the Church of England instead. Anglican churches seem to have a superfluous amount of communion silver and candlesticks. The churches belong to Jesus, and he’ll understand because God’s love outweighs the property rights of the rich. Plus, it’s a state church so that any material costs will be passed along to everyone equally. (Last one out of the Church of England, please turn out the lights—you know, global warming and all that.)

When a believer is minus sound doctrine they inevitably introduce some kind gimmick, preoccupation or bad thinking to fill that vacuum (assuming here, of course, this is a believer).