"Dads. Dudes. Get real. Your daughter’s curves aren’t just sweet anymore."

Chris Anderson challenges dads to think clearly about their daughters… and what they wear.
Dads, Daughters and Sexuality

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Susan R's picture


Absolutely- my dh was saying this morning that he can't believe how many dads are CLUELESS... and what's a shame is when a Christian dad refuses to teach modesty to his family.

It's like cake before dinner- I don't get it.

ChrisC's picture

Protect your little girl by being objective about the way she looks. And while you’re at it, protect us.
i don't know whether anderson means this or not, but this rationale seems to lay the blame for men's sinful thoughts on women (and girls) – a kind of deflection. "if only they would dress modestly, i wouldn't have this problem…". but when jesus talked about looking and lust in matthew 5, he wasn't talking about women dressing immodestly and no one was wearing bikinis, tight tops or pants with "juicy" on the rear. the whole blame was on the man looking and what he was thinking about. jesus didn't allow deflection if the woman's robe was too short or anything like that.

rogercarlson's picture

I dont think that is what Chris Anderson means. Although, while he is a friend, I cannot speak for him. His overall premise of the article is right.

But you (ChrisC) bring up a good point. Sometimes, we in fundamentalism, lay the blame for for men's immoral thoughts at the door of women. That is just wrong. Although women should dress modestly for the glory of God, men must control their thoughts for the glory of God and not blame a woman dressing immodestly for his sinfulness.

Roger Carlson, Pastor
Berean Baptist Church

Susan R's picture


The responsibility lies with both 'sides' if this equation. Men are responsible for their thoughts, women are responsible to be modest. I think the point of the post was to address an issue with fathers/daughters, not to attempt to cover every aspect of the modesty issue or lay 'blame'.

Ha ha- cover modesty issues! Get it?

But seriously- is there something wrong with trying to make it easier on men by being modest? I mean, offenses must come, but why allow your daughter or wife to be the girl in the tight shirt or short skirt that a man has to turn away from so as to guard his eyes and heart?

And I think the verse in question (Mtt. 5:28) isn't about noticing that a woman has put all her goods in the shop window, but about spending some time in the store.

Aaron Blumer's picture


It's interesting to me how often conversations about modesty fall prey to "either it's the guy's fault or it's the gal's fault" trap.
An illustration I like to use: remember when Roy of Siegfried & Roy got attacked by a tiger? There are two lessons from that event:
1) Tigers should not bite people
2) People should not put their heads in tigers' mouths

When it comes to modest dress...
1) Guys shouldn't think lustfully
2) Gals shouldn't encourage them to by their attire (oops, did I say "gals." Sorry. Ladies.)

Both are true. It's not an either-or thing (and there are extremes that pretty obviously foolish)

wkessel1's picture

Great article. As a father of a pre-teen daughter, I am reminded of my resposiblity to teach her, not just what not to wear but why. Not only does dressing modestly honor God, but it also has an aspect of esteeming others higher than ourselves. She should be thinking of her brothers in Christ and helping them, not leading them astray, when considering what she is putting on. Trying to help her (and me) understand that having the mind of Christ includes thinking of others as more important than ourselves is a constant consideration in our lives.

Aaron Blumer's picture


I think Chris' post highlights the importance of moms in the process. There's only so much of that sort of talk (not the "think of others" kind but the "what this does to guys" kind) that is reasonable to expect between a daughter and a dad, seems to me. But dads have to take some initiative to help moms understand and help moms communicate with daughters... as well as to simply put a foot down from to time and say "You're not leaving the house wearing that."