How do YOU deal with modesty at YOUR church? Have you had to have hard discussions with individuals about what they wear?

I think modesty has to be dealt with at the leadership level first. IOW, staff and their wives, singers/musicians, and teachers should be a good example of modest behavior and appearance (and I think you have to have both to be modest). This helps, without confrontation, to allow folks to consider their own behavior and appearance. A sort of positive peer pressure, and an opportunity for folks to ask those in leadership or highly visible roles “Why” they have made the choices they have.

Other than continually encouraging folks to get into the Word and pursue Godliness, I think you pretty much have to let people figure it out for themselves.

A few years back I purchased about a hundred of the little booklets “Secret Keeper” by Dannah Gresh. We make sure to get these into the hands of every girl that enters our youth group. Then about once a year my wife will do a two or three week series with just our girls that goes through that book and talks about modesty.

Last summer (2009) we struggled with immodesty throughout the summer. So this year (2010), around April when the weather started getting better, one Sunday morning my wife walked into Sunday School wearing an X-Large T-shirt over her dress. She announced to the class that we wanted to make sure that all our girls dressed modestly this summer. She told them that we would keep two of those X-Large t-shirts in the youth room and that if any girl came to church wearing something too tight or too low, that she would be asked to wear this T-shirt over her outfit, and that my wife would wear one too. We never had to ask any girls to wear the t-shirt all summer long.

I’ve heard of a couple of youth groups that illustrated the modesty issue by having a girl’s night, where the female YG leadership dressed in accordance with what a lot of the girls were wearing, and the girls seeing ‘their’ wardrobes on their normally modest teachers kinda’ freaked them out, but it got the point across.