Why Parents Should Let Their Kids Pay Their Own College Tuition

On this point, there is no one-size-fits-all answer for every family. But I am forever grateful to a father who told me early in life, “Son, you are going to pay for your own college bills.” The benefits of this approach shaped my life in very important ways.

It is good for a man to bear the yoke in his youth. (Lam. 3:27, NKJV)

Or, you can join the military and let the government pay for your education. AA, BA, MA and 85% of my MDiv was all paid for my the government. When I return to active-duty as a Chaplain in about two years ro so (Lord willing!), I’ll let the Navy fund my doctorate, too. Thanks, Uncle Sam!

[TylerR]

Or, you can join the military and let the government pay for your education. AA, BA, MA and 85% of my MDiv was all paid for my the government. When I return to active-duty as a Chaplain in about two years ro so (Lord willing!), I’ll let the Navy fund my doctorate, too. Thanks, Uncle Sam!

Hard to disagree that this option is anything but “bearing the yoke.” Not a free handout, that’s for sure. Thanks for your service, Tyler!

My experience in school—my tuition paid for by scholarships and room & board & fees paid by work/trust from my grandmother—is that the big thing to avoid is giving a student a sense of “entitlement”, and to make sure they have “skin in the game” so they will actually study. For me, earning part of my room and board and needing to keep a 3.0 GPA helped a lot.

[Jim]

• One paid way through college as barista at Caribou.

Caribou, my favorite! When we moved from Milwaukee to Queens, NY a few years ago, Caribou was closing down all Milwaukee area shops. And there are no Caribou shops in NYC anywhere. If you have any MN Caribou connections, let them know that NYC is waiting for some Caribou spots!

I had an interesting conversation with a corporate “head hunter” one day. He told me that he had a pile of resumes on his desk from applicants with Masters degrees and PHDs who had never had a job in their lives. The majority were either in debt up to their ears or had had someone else paying the way. Whatever the reason, they had zero job experience. He told me that the employers he worked for would hire a lower degree with work experience than a higher degree with none.

East Asian parents typically pay their kids’ entire trip through college—and often beyond. Of course this does entail something of the understanding that the kids will support them in their old age. So it’s a bit more of a mutual arrangement and involves the understanding of a great deal of responsibility to come, which makes the arrangement perhaps a little out of the scope of this conversation. It’s helpful to be aware of though.

[Ron Bean] He told me that the employers he worked for would hire a lower degree with work experience than a higher degree with none.

True story. As a hiring manager, I’ve turned down several candidates who had their PhD or Masters degree but who did not have work experience. I would recommend people get their bachelors, work five years in their field, and then get their masters (assuming you have to pay for it yourself). If someone else foots the bill, get both as soon as possible, but expect to start in a junior position.

My company used to recruit people directly out of ivy league schools.

I worked with a Harvard MBA grad right out of school. He felt entitled, thought the job title / responsibilities were beneath him, and kept applying for senior-level positions within the company although he lacked experience. His thinking was that a Harvard masters degree should at least start him out in a Director/VP position within the company. He lasted 2 years. Never got higher than senior analyst.

While in my same role, I worked with a young lady from a different department who graduated with a masters from MIT and let everybody know it. She, too, thought her current job title was beneath her. She lasted 9 months and was let go.

My company stopped recruiting people directly out of school. Now, we are directed to give more weight to work experience than to school or degree.

My company stopped recruiting people directly out of school. Now, we are directed to give more weight to work experience than to school or degree.

Now if only that thinking would become more pervasive, we could really shake up higher education. :) Sadly, for too many institutions, the Name Still Matters. A lot.

I paid for my 2 kids’ college educations (in the case of the 2nd child, still paying as she is a senior). My thinking was that I wanted them to mostly concentrate on academics and extra-curricular college activities during the year, plus, with some partial scholarships and a couple of initial gifts from the grandparents, I was able to do so, and I didn’t want them having a large amount of debt to deal with after graduation. I did not, however, pay for any of their incidental expenses — clothes, toiletries/consumables, eating out, activities, gasoline, etc. They shared one car that still belongs to me, that my 2nd daughter is still using. For extra money during the school year, both of them started with part-time jobs with the university.

They have both been working jobs since they were 14, because at that point, I already expected them to start earning their way (they did some work around the house and some babysitting to earn money before they could legally get a job). My older daughter started summer internships after her first year in college. They didn’t pay a lot, but she was able to earn both money and experience. Upon graduation, she got a programming job at Wofford College. It’s only been a few months, but so far, she is doing well. My 2nd daughter used her skills with piano to start teaching, and before she even went away to college she had 7 students, and even at her age at the time, teaching piano pays better than flipping burgers. She now teaches part-time at a music studio in the college town, and has about 13 students. She could have more, except she needs time for school.

I agree that kids could get a sense of entitlement by having college bills paid, but I think the point is to start teaching them early on to have a good work ethic. For some, that might mean more work during college and after to pay for it on their own, but I don’t think having no help on their college bill from parents is the only way to learn it.