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Animal Control Corrals Cage‐Stage Calvinist After Biting Incident

TylerR Fri, 09/22/17 8:30 pm
Christian Living
Calvinism
Satire

Babylon Bee: Scoover’s parents told reporters that his Cage Stage symptoms started surfacing recently after he began to see the full extent of God’s sovereignty over everything, including salvation, and he undertook reading Reformed authors like R.C. Sproul, John Piper, John MacArthur, and a shadowy group of figures known as “the Westminster Divines.”

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The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: But the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness.

(KJV, Proverbs 10:32)

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