Why Complementarians Should Be “First Responders” Against Abuse
“…complementarians such as myself should be the first to recognize the responsibilities and dangers of authority because we recognize the God-intended asymmetries between men and women in the church and the home.” - 9 Marks
His overall point is a solid one, but I can’t help but push back on this…
To match Adams’ vignette with my own, a husband shouting, “You stupid woman!” to his wife is doing something much worse than the wife shouting, “You stupid man!” to him in the exact same tone and volume. To the man, God says, “I’m not even going to listen to you when you talk to me” (1 Peter 3:7).
Egalitarians may resist that. But if you’re a complementarian, you should believe that, and you’re my intended audience here.
Because of headship (1 Cor. 11:7-8, etc), family order, and other principles, the wife’s behavior here is certainly not less weighty than the husband’s. I would argue that they are pretty much equally bad, though in some very different ways. There isn’t really asymmetry (which he talks about a lot in the piece). There is simply difference.
It’s important not to take ideas with a kernel of truth in them, like “asymmetry,” and let them run away with you.
Views expressed are always my own and not my employer's, my church's, my family's, my neighbors', or my pets'. The house plants have authorized me to speak for them, however, and they always agree with me.
I can bend on whether we see the man’s shouting at his wife as “worse”, but when discussing whether complementarian theology leads to abuse with egalitarians, 1 Peter 3:7, along with Colossians 3:19, comes to mind. The notion that God will not even hear one’s prayers ought to inspire holy fear in any believing husband.
Aspiring to be a stick in the mud.
Discussion