‘Empathy Is Not a Thing,’ Says Albert Mohler in Response to Hillary Clinton’s Essay

To be fair, he’s splitting semantic hairs. He’s not demonizing empathy. He’s demonizing a word.

“I want to say even as I’ve been challenged on this in the last few days, it’s not so much that I think empathy is wrongly defined. It is the fact that I don’t think empathy is a thing,” said Mohler, who is president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary (SBTS).

“I don’t think it’s real. I think it is a substitute for a real Christian morality,” he said. “A real Christian morality is not empathy, but sympathy and it’s feeling with—it’s compassion, feeling with—and then taking the requisite actions driven by Christian conviction.”

Not that demonizing a useful term is great either, but it’s at least better that rejecting caring about people and imagining what it’s like to be them.

But when you say things like that, what do people hear? Think about it. Just a little. It doesn’t take much.

Now I’ll be the first to admit the difference between empathy and sympathy has always been a bit murky to me. I couldn’t really tell you what the difference is.

Here’s what I do know. These are two different but related things:

• Using imagination to feel an approximation of what someone else feels, given their circumstances and their humanity.
• Using imagination to see how things look from another person’s point of view, given their experiences, circumstances, and humanity.

They’re both deeply Christian things to do.

So a guy who is failing to imagine how he sounds to other people when he says the things he says broadly rejects empathy. It’s a little ironic.

Sometimes it’s almost like we’re afraid someone might get the impression Christians love their neighbor. People might start to think we love our enemies. So, war on empathy!

I feel that Mohler misses this. Empathy is not about creating a social gospel. The gospel is social at its core. Was Christ exhibiting empathy when he talked to the woman at the well?

I feel a little inspired to do a study: First, gather some definitions of ‘empathy’ from dictionaries and the like and see if there is even a consensus on what it means. Second, assuming there is, do a study of the gospels for empathy in the life and ministry of Jesus. Maybe expand that to the epistles. I think it would be edifying.

It’s true enough that Jesus wasn’t what we’d call “kind” to everyone. The Pharisees and their ilk got pretty harsh rejection. Mostly. There is Nicodemus, some others, if memory serves. But there are so many who should have been considered ‘lost causes’ that Jesus went out of His way to connect with. The connection was often confrontational, but always calibrated, i.e., gentle. He was not into quenching smoldering wicks and crushing bruised reeds.

Christ was harsh on the spiritual leaders of the day. He was much kinder and more empathetic to those who were lost. I think too many times we as Christians feel we must rebuke or be confrontational with those who who are practicing against Biblical commands. Like our rebuke will bring on regeneration. We can't go 1 for 1 with Christ's actions, because He also saw the heart, something we are not truly privy too. But I think, we as Christians need to go much further than we do today. The 2 key commandments were love. Show love and share the gospel, either overtly or through our actions and deeds, and pray. Let the Holy Spirit redeem their actions. Have a heart for those who are suffering.

>>But I think, we as Christians need to go much further than we do today. The 2 key commandments were love. Show love and share the gospel, either overtly or through our actions and deeds, and pray.<<

I’m not sure any of us would disagree with this as the ideal, even if we don’t always get it right. However, I think it lines up with what Mohler was saying — “A real Christian morality is not empathy, but sympathy and it’s feeling with—it’s compassion, feeling with—and then taking the requisite actions driven by Christian conviction.” I don’t need to see myself in the shoes of a gay person or protestor. I do need to show biblical compassion to any such, and act according with what scripture says.

I understand what Aaron is saying above about maybe drawing too fine a distinction between empathy and sympathy, but e.g. I don’t need to imagine myself as an idolater to love an idolater in a Christian way.

And, BtW, while I should act according to what the Bible says, that’s not in opposition to letting the law deal with those who have broken it. It wouldn’t be my job to police illegal immigrants, but if I was working with one, and he accepted Christ as Lord and Savior, I would also counsel him to turn himself in to be right with the law (and scripture’s view of obeying the laws).

I don't think it is about imagining yourself, but truly understanding what that person is going through. Without that understanding, sympathy is misplaced. For example, I have a group of Christian friends, some are pastors who have lost a child. I can tell you the interaction with most other Christians is very poor in this situation. The vast majority don't understand it or understand it in the wrong kind of ways. We have all had Christians treat us or say things that are so far off base. Most Christians sit in insulated chambers. I would say most Christians have heard the sound clips about trans people from FoxNews, but have never really sat with trans people to truly understand their challenges what they are feeling... and so the end result is being dismissive, unhelpful or downright wrong in how they interact with the population.

Christians all grasp, or certainly should grasp, the reality of the brokenness of the world. Romans 8. But we seem to often be selective about where we see brokenness and how we react to it. For example, if someone gets brain cancer or suffers a head injury, we are ready to accept that they can’t think within the normal range. Most of us would be ready to accept that personality changes and attitudes could be a result also.

We don’t immediately start going into sin and repentance mode with them, right?

Similarly, if someone is born blind, we don’t judge them for being unable to see.

What makes it complex is that humans are both weak and wicked and sometimes we think we are seeing wickedness when it’s really just weakness. Other times we reverse that. And of course, some problems (maybe most?) are a mix.

But there seem to be many who default to a “100% wickedness” mode when it comes to sexual matters. But what if someone is only a little bit broken sexually? The ethics piece is still what it is. When it comes to choices and conduct, right is right and wrong is wrong, but we are not all working from an equal footing as a starting point, when confronted with those choices.

Some have a lot more to overcome in that area than others, and their challenges are more complex.

This is true across the board, not just with sexual ethics. I think most people probably get that if you grew up in a family with an alcoholic parent, and let’s say there are multiple generations of this, you have some disadvantages in avoiding that hazard in your life. Scripture still says “don’t be drunk with wine.” Obeying that biblical directive is easy for me. It might be really hard for you. Similarly, if you grew up on the streets somewhere stealing to survive, “let him that stole steal no more” might be a bigger challenge for you. It’s not hard for me.

Other things are hard for me!

We had a sermon on Naaman the other day. I’m not sure I ever really noticed this part of the story before: Naaman basically says, I’m done with idolatry but my boss isn’t and I might have to do things that look like I’m still on board with that. Elisha basically says “It’s fine. You’re in a tough situation.”

All I’m saying—and this is not rocket science—is that people have their own tough situations.

About imagination, I don’t know if imagining being them is quite the right way to say it. But imagining what it would be like to be them is vital. We do this every time we hear someone just lost their spouse of 60 years and feel that stab of pain. The deceased wasn’t my spouse of 60 years. But we hurt a little because we imagine, consciously or otherwise, being them and suffering that loss. But we don’t all have equal inclinations and skills in that area. Especially if we never lost someone we loved.

So some have to really work at it. But the God-given gift of imagination is what makes feeling any compassion possible. We can always do compassion, felt or not, but we miss opportunities if we don’t have compassionate impulse as a habit. That includes the habit of imaging the experience and perspective and thought process of other people. I think this is what most people mean when they say “empathy” though I haven’t researched definitions yet.

Someone passed this on, related to the topic. Seems to be a thoughtful read on the topic of empathy from a biblical perspective:

https://rpmministries.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Empathy-Is-Biblical.pdf

>>I don’t think it is about imagining yourself, but truly understanding what that person is going through.<< [Emphasis mine]

Honestly, if one hasn’t gone through something, they can’t ever really understand others, no matter how hard they try, and trying to get inside the head of someone you want to help is still not going to do it. Most times others will come across as you have expressed:

>>The vast majority don’t understand it or understand it in the wrong kind of ways.<<

E.g. I’ve been through having my father pass away. I can probably understand a little of what someone else who has had that happen is going through, but even then, my experiences are limited because neither my life nor my relationship with my father is the same as theirs. (I know I certainly wouldn’t want advice from someone whose relationship with their father was not fantastic, because mine was.) Using my experience to say I “understand” the loss of a mother, spouse, child, or other non-father relative is speculative at best, and my expression of that is likely to come across as shallow, just as what you have experienced from other believers. No matter how much I think about it, I don’t believe I can really truly understand what they are feeling.

I think most of what we need to do is listen and keep our mouths shut, maybe only giving some gentle interaction if asked. Even Job’s three friends sat with him for a week without speaking (good), but when at last they did speak, it wasn’t particularly helpful. As I am not a people person at all, at least I understand enough to know what NOT to say in most cases, as what I will say will almost assuredly offend, if entirely inadvertently. Of course, it might also seem offensive to not say anything, but I would highly prefer that to saying something wrong or badly.

All this to say that while the Savior can easily express perfect empathy, that’s not something I believe those of us who are not God can really do. At best, we would have a very imperfect facsimile of empathy. Perhaps its my own bent or experience, but I believe honest sympathy will come across in a much more genuine way than counterfeit empathy, but any interaction we have with someone hurting can’t be done in a flippant or “too busy to really care” way.

There’s a risk of overthinking it or diving too deep.

Honestly, if one hasn’t gone through something, they can’t ever really understand others, no matter how hard they try, and trying to get inside the head of someone you want to help is still not going to do it.

It’s better, probably, to present the Christian love calling to empathy as an exercise of the imagination that is real but not detailed. Everybody has suffered loss if they’ve lived more than a handful of years.

Even a toddler can imagine that their fried skinned knee feels a lot like their own skinned knee.

And on some level you don’t even have to have experienced even the general category, because there are two other avenues: 1) Experiences that are similar in some way. 2) Intuitive understanding.

As an example, I’ve never lost my job to downsizing or a company I worked for going out of business. I’ve never even lost my job for any reason since I was a teen. I managed to get fired twice within a couple of summers! But my church friend’s company goes out of business and he’s unemployed. I do not have to have “been there” to empathize. But I can hurt with him in a very real way.

It’s not about feeling a duplicate of what someone else feels. It’s about going to the trouble to understand that their situation must painful and difficult. Two things are going on there: 1) experiences that are somewhat similar in various ways, and 2) intuition.

The fact that no two people experience things the same way is just a call to humility. Even if we have “gone through that,” we aren’t that other person, so it’s not the same. Humble empathy acknowledges and understands—in a general way—the pain and struggle but doesn’t assume that what worked for me will work for them. It doesn’t assume that this moment is the right one to start dispensing unsolicited advice.

I’m reminded of Rom 12.15

15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

In the context, there is all sorts of “how to do relationships Christianly” material.

9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

It’s a rich topic. Much could be written. In Romans 12, the thing folks often mean by ‘empathy’ is described in terms of action not imagination. But there is plenty of Scripture elsewhere about listening, feeling compassion, and the whole internal set of responses. That’s where imagination comes in. But by imagination, I’m not talking about role-playing or simulation or something. It’s more general and categorical, and usually instinctive/intuitive. If “imagination” is confusing, think of it as “caring in a genuinely understanding way.”