Why Gayle Haggard Stayed
Question: What would you tell women who find out their husbands are having an affair or something similar?
Gayle: I would encourage them to set their trajectory toward forgiveness. It’s a process that they have to walk through to deal with the truth, to face it head on, and to let God walk them through the healing of their hearts. I can’t say that everybody’s story will turn out like mine, because Ted chose to fight for our marriage. He chose to repent and to cling to his faith and God, and to walk through all of this with me. Not every husband does that. I would tell every woman, as much as she is able, to forgive and to love.
You spend a significant portion of the book explaining the way the overseers treated your family, asking you to break ties with New Life and move out of the state. How did you view the Christian community differently after what happened?
I was disappointed because I so believe in the church. I was disappointed that people started believing the worst about Ted and that we were cut off from our church, which wasn’t representative of our church at all as a body. We had a family, relational church, but others made that decision and separated us from the church. That was devastating to me. I felt that not only was I being ripped and ravaged in my relationship with my husband but just a few days later was told that I no longer belonged at the church, so I felt that I was being ripped and ravaged by the church, or certain leaders. That was as devastating to me as what was going on in my marriage.
I agree with taking Haggard out of the pulpit and ministry, but this is a complaint that I’ve heard often and it needs to be addressed. No wonder so many abandon their faith if they feel as though they’re no longer welcome at the ‘house of God’.
"Our task today is to tell people — who no longer know what sin is...no longer see themselves as sinners, and no longer have room for these categories — that Christ died for sins of which they do not think they’re guilty." - David Wells
[Jay C]
I agree with taking Haggard out of the pulpit and ministry, but this is a complaint that I’ve heard often and it needs to be addressed. No wonder so many abandon their faith if they feel as though they’re no longer welcome at the ‘house of God’.
Wow. Did the church feel they had NT grounds for removing the wife from the church because of her husband’s sin? I’d have real problems with that too.
Dave Barnhart
Good documentary on Haggard (after the fall)
[URL=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1364306/ The Trials of Ted Haggard[/URL]
Directed by [URL=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexandra_Pelosi] Alexandra Pelosi[/URL]
Shows how his family suffered along with him for his moral failure. Heartwrenching.
Seems that sometimes evangelical / fundamental churches toss people aside like used kleenex!
[URL=http://movies.nytimes.com/2009/01/29/arts/television/29tria.html NYTimes review[/URL]
[URL=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1364306/ The Trials of Ted Haggard[/URL]
Directed by [URL=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexandra_Pelosi] Alexandra Pelosi[/URL]
Shows how his family suffered along with him for his moral failure. Heartwrenching.
Seems that sometimes evangelical / fundamental churches toss people aside like used kleenex!
[URL=http://movies.nytimes.com/2009/01/29/arts/television/29tria.html NYTimes review[/URL]
[dcbii][Jay C]
I agree with taking Haggard out of the pulpit and ministry, but this is a complaint that I’ve heard often and it needs to be addressed. No wonder so many abandon their faith if they feel as though they’re no longer welcome at the ‘house of God’.
Wow. Did the church feel they had NT grounds for removing the wife from the church because of her husband’s sin? I’d have real problems with that too.
Dave,
I don’t know what happened there…the article wasn’t clear. It certainly sounded to me like the church just threw them out entirely as opposed to [just] removing him from his position as pastor.
"Our task today is to tell people — who no longer know what sin is...no longer see themselves as sinners, and no longer have room for these categories — that Christ died for sins of which they do not think they’re guilty." - David Wells
[Jim Peet] Good documentary on Haggard (after the fall)Our family watched this somewhat documentary film on HBO. Ted, himself, all other considerations aside, is a very charismatic (no pun intended) personality. It is a wonder he hasn’t been offered a television show. He is personally very appealing (with the understanding that the presentation on HBO is edited but even with proper editing some people cannot be edited into an appealing context). Of course this speaks to the distorted affections of many within the E/f community regarding personality and how it is has become instrumental in accelerating one’s prominence in both circles.
[URL=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1364306/ The Trials of Ted Haggard[/URL]
Directed by [URL=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexandra_Pelosi] Alexandra Pelosi[/URL]
Shows how his family suffered along with him for his moral failure. Heartwrenching.
Seems that sometimes evangelical / fundamental churches toss people aside like used kleenex!
[URL=http://movies.nytimes.com/2009/01/29/arts/television/29tria.html NYTimes review[/URL]
It is true, though, that his wife suffered as a co-conspirator but that isn’t even my personal concern here, though it is something that must be addressed, particularly if this brand of Christianity wishes to maintain a voice within Evangelicalism as a whole.
In the past I have been critical of Ted’s failure of full disclosure and acceptance of the full offense. He has not provided an amendment yet of such so I stand posited.
But never minding this we have not heard the last of Ted Haggard or his family, for better or worse. And if for better, in this case it would and should be a re-examination (especially within fundamentalism or CE of which the charismatic branch here borrows strongly) of the very distorted, contradictory and exegetically unsound form of church discipline it presently practices.
[Alex Guggenheim] Our family watched this somewhat documentaryYou said it better than I!
While I admire her willingness to forgive and restore…while she is being harmless as a dove she’d better be certain she’s also being as wise as a serpent. For years to come.
I’m certain that the church has a side to this story. They put the Haggard into counseling, they also gave the Haggards a handsome severance pay if they relocated from Colorado Springs. Maybe that shouldn’t have been their say, but too many charismatics restore men to the ministry, and perhaps the church felt that Haggard would desire that and they felt that the church would be able to heal better with him gone. He is back in Colorado Springs with a group of Christians meeting in his home for worship. There probably was no perfect way to end this. The church needed to heal and restore its testimony while the Haggard’s wife needed the fellowship of her church friends but Ted needed to be away from the church for the church to move on. I think the church did the best it could given the situation.
Discussion