Pregnant at 18. Hailed by Abortion Foes. Punished by Christian School

[Jay]

Mercy is mercy when it is truly unearned and unexpected. “You owe me the opportunity to march because I asked your forgiveness” is hardly either.

What evidence do we have that this is what she is actually thinking? Several people on this thread are characterizing her and her family this way, but I haven’t gotten that sense at all. I don’t think that Bert has either, and someone on this thread said that they know the family personally and that is not at all what is going on.

People keep saying this, and I’d like to see proof for it.

Okay, to avoid confusion the quotation marks do NOT indicate an exact quotation but are only to provide a sense of a personal point of view as opposed to the rest of the sentence. Glad I got that off my chest.

So, what exactly is she/her family saying in this whole brouhaha if it is not something very close to “you owe me the opportunity to march since I asked your forgiveness”? [quotations indicate actual quote this time {clarity is your friend }]. :)

Lee said:

So, what exactly is she/her family saying in this whole brouhaha if it is not something very close to “you owe me the opportunity to march since I asked your forgiveness”? [quotations indicate actual quote this time {clarity is your friend }]. :)

Is that the right question? As I read the Bible, the people who take it most harshly from Jesus for their sins are spiritual leaders like the Pharisees and Sadducees. Those most harshly rebuked by the prophets are kings, renegade priests, and false prophets.

Biblically, leadership comes with accountability, here starting with the question of whether the punishment meted out by the school board bears any resemblance to how Moses, Paul, and Christ dealt with the sin of nonmarital fornication. If the answer is that it doesn’t, that’s where you start with your root cause analysis. Unless her 13 years of tuition have been utterly wasted there, you’ve got to assume that her attitudes are to some degree learned responses to the environment created in great part by the school board.

All too often, leaders, especially those in the church, close ranks and blame others when confronted with problems. The sad thing is that this makes the problems worse.

There should be a balance between honoring/obeying authority, and authority acting sensibly and fairly. It isn’t either/or. Authority that has a strong case should make that case with boldness and clarity. But if a family feels that they are being treated unjustly, then I believe they can, in good conscience, act in their own defense.

So how does one do this with a Christian school? I mean, when we deal with public institutions, we seldom bring in Scripture as part of our argument, so to speak, because most public institutions don’t acknowledge the Bible as a ‘governing document’, as it were.

But with a Christian school, one would expect to bring Scripture to the forefront in order to navigate a situation like this, especially if the goal of correction is restoration, and not just punishment.

Perhaps that is what bothers some of us—consequences are essential, but restoration is the goal. The school’s actions, cumulatively, do not appear to be restorative.

Sometimes Christian schools take these kinds of action because the principal is encouraged by the board or pastor to do so, usually to protect the school’s image or brand. I recall being told that for a principal to have a “pastor’s heart” was a liability.

So, what exactly is she/her family saying in this whole brouhaha if it is not something very close to “you owe me the opportunity to march since I asked your forgiveness”?

Bert and Susan have done yeoman’s work in answering your question for me, but here are some quotes:

From the National Review, as recorded on Fox News:

“There have been kids who have broken the student code and they could have hurt people or even gone to jail and they only received an in-school suspension and they’re allowed to walk this year. The school is worried about its reputation, but I think they’re missing out on an incredible opportunity to set an example for the pro-life community and Christian schools about how to treat guys and girls like me.”

The Washington Post:

“I chose life and sometimes it feels like it wasn’t worth it, but then it’s been kind of a blessing because I have a big platform to help other people,” she said.

Runkles, who has been accepted to Bob Jones University, a Christian school in South Carolina, doesn’t believe Heritage will change its mind about letting her walk at graduation June 2, but she said that if it does, she will take part.

“I would love to attend because my best friends will be there and I want to share that with them,” she said. “Some people are upset because they think I’m out to get the school, but I’m not. I just want them to do the right thing.”

The New York Times:

Ms. Runkles agrees. She is trying to start a chapter of Embrace Grace, an organization that works with churches to help single pregnant women. While many in her school are supportive, she still sometimes feels like an outcast. She wears a jacket over her school uniform — a polo shirt and khaki skirt — to cover her bulging belly, so as not to make others feel uncomfortable. Her parents are planning their own graduation ceremony for her on June 3, the day after Heritage Academy’s event.

“Some pro-life people are against the killing of unborn babies, but they won’t speak out in support of the girl who chooses to keep her baby,” she said. “Honestly, that makes me feel like maybe the abortion would have been better. Then they would have just forgiven me, rather than deal with this visible consequence.”

Now compare that with this tidbit from Rick Kempton, chairman of the board of the Association of Christian Schools International:

“There’s a biblical term that many Christian schools use, and it is the whole idea of grace: What would Jesus do?” Mr. Kempton said. Of Ms. Runkles, he added: “She’s making the right choice. But you don’t want to create a celebration that makes other young ladies feel like, ‘Well, that seems like a pretty good option.’”

One of those people is grounded in reality. The other one is saying that Maddi’s graduation would be a ‘celebration’ of her sin.

I know I said I was done. But a couple of things are in need of correction and/or clarification.

Take a look at the father’s statement that Jim Racke copied here. It says clearly that the “father is stepping up to the challenge”, and from elsewhere we know they will not be marrying. We don’t know what the precise terms of the agreement are, but the boy is clearly coming up with something that can be regarded as a modern day bride price.

The bride price was paid to the father to compensate his loss. I would assume that the boy is owning responsibility and will care for the child. That is not a bride price in the Bible.

I think you’re being too clever by half in noting that it’s a corporation outside the clear authority of the local church, and therefore…we can’t apply these things that were applicable to the church.

I said no such thing about it being a corporation outside the authority of the local church. And my point has never been primarily (if at all) about things be applicable to the church but not elsewhere.

Really, expelling pregnant students derives from the Victorian habit of hiding the consequences of sin, which in turn makes it difficult for people to process that in their lives.

So because people will hide something, let’s not punish them for it? That’s not biblical. The one who hides sin will not prosper. It’s like saying “If I punish for something, it will just cause them to lie about it.” Well, that’s bad all the way around. Hiding the consequences of sin is hardly Victorian, unless by “Victorian” you mean Garden of Eden-like and every generation since then.

… and they do not contest the fact that the “not walking” penalty was imposed late.

Here is your argument from silence (an actual one). You made the charge and assumed that because they don’t contest it, your charge is true. That is pretty close to a textbook example of an argument from silence. That they don’t say something doesn’t mean you get to conclude something about it. I don’t think this matters, but whatever the case, you can’t rely on an argument from silence.

Only if you fire teachers who become pregnant, which I’d be surprised to see.

You would be surprised if a Christian school fired a unwed teacher who became pregnant? It happens all the time and I believe has been tested in court and found acceptable.

Again, Bert, I think you are misguided on your biblical claims. At the very least, you haven’t made any sort of argument for them. You have only asserted. But more importantly in my response here, you missed a few key things and misrepresented them.

Jay,

All of David’s penalties were decided and applied at that time although some effects could not be realized until later. God didn’t decide three months down the road to do something else on top of what He promised.

You admitted above that you didn’t know the timeline. So why keep pursuing that this was late? Do you know something you haven’t old us? It may well be accurate, and that wouldn’t be a problem, but it needs to be proven if you are going to assert this.

What requires all the punishments to be handed out immediately? I routinely tell my children that I will think about what the consequences should be and let them know. There’s nothing wrong with that in and of itself. Sometimes, it takes a bit of time to work through things and there are various factors like responses. We don’t know when this was done or how it was done, so far as I know. If you have a timeline, then please share it with us. The school has said very little except that they entertained three appeals from the family and compromised all three times. How is that not mercy?

Since when when is a Christian school responsible to carry out the duties of a pastor or church? And didn’t they already do that when she told the student body?

They aren’t the duties of a pastor or a church.

Then you come up with a list of what’s being disputed and end it with “Whether or not it’s fair to decide we know what a person is thinking or how they are acting based on the little bit of info we know.” Do you see the irony. From the beginning of this, Jay, you seem to have attributed thinking and motives to people on the school board. And I pointed out to you that you simply don’t know that. You are operating on very little information presented in a biased way. And yet you condemn others for doing that.

You talk about boys and others not being treated this way. Yet you have no evidence of that at all, do you? Aren’t you just making that up? I am not saying it is true or false. I am questioning the basis on which any claim can be made about it. How do you know this?

The question I asked was a repeat of what I asked you previously that you declined to answer. You say she shouldn’t be prevented from walking. Fine. Is there anything that would be legitimate? If so, what is it and how do we know? You were the first one I asked that to. You, like most, haven’t responded. Bert gave a bit of a transparently half-hearted response but you didn’t even touch the question.

If you are going to declare that this is not a legitimate case for not walking, then what is? And how do we know? What rubric would you give a school to work through this?

But let me respond to this:

You say she shouldn’t be prevented from walking. Fine. Is there anything that would be legitimate? If so, what is it and how do we know? You were the first one I asked that to. You, like most, haven’t responded. Bert gave a bit of a transparently half-hearted response but you didn’t even touch the question.

If you are going to declare that this is not a legitimate case for not walking, then what is? And how do we know? What rubric would you give a school to work through this?

Of course there are appropriate responses. Asking her to inform the student body was appropriate. The two day suspension was appropriate. Removing her from her leadership positions was certainly appropriate. Barring her from commencement four months later? No, I don’t think that was, especially since HCA kept changing things up as time progressed.

As I said before, and as Maddi noted in the quotes I mentioned before, others have done much worse things including the possibility of jail time. If Maddi’s actions affected the school itself adversely (which it really hasn’t - it’s affected her life, which is something different), then the removal from commencement would be appropriate and warranted. HCA will be fine on June 4th. Maddi will carry her sin for the rest of her life, and her son will carry it as well. I think that’s plenty when combined with the other actions the school took. Maddi was a 4.0 student, she’s completed her schoolwork, and she should be able to celebrate graduation just like anyone else who has done their schoolwork should as well.

I do not understand the position that people are charging me and others with - that somehow she is absolved of any guilt and should be unpunished. I’m really surprised, Larry, that you continue to talk like that. No one here is saying that she is innocent. No one here is saying that punishment isn’t warranted. But more than a few seem to think that the real crux of the issue for people like Bert and I is that Maddi shouldn’t have been punished at all. That’s goofy nonsense.

Jay, so it all boils down to a judgment call. The school decided to prohibit Maddi from walking. You believe that is excessive punishment. Since there are no clear Biblical guidelines for the reasonableness or unreasonableness of this particular punishment, it would seem best to defer to those who have been tasked with the responsibility of leading HBC, and who have first-hand knowledge of the situation. They know what happened, what was and was not said behind closed doors, and have a feel for Maddi’s attitude in response to her punishment. I may disagree with their decision, but it’s clearly a judgment call, and I don’t see how it can be deemed excessive using an objective standard of evaluation. It’s really a matter of opinion.

… it would seem best to defer to those who have been tasked with the responsibility of leading HBC, and who have first-hand knowledge of the situation.

People like Maddi and her father have first-hand knowledge as well. Better knowledge, in fact, than some of the Board members that were passing judgment on the case.

I seriously do not understand the unquestioning acceptance, by so many SI members, of the leaders of HCA on this matter. But maybe that’s because I have seen too many bad leaders lead people off of cliffs even though they were sure that it was the right thing to do.

I do not understand the position that people are charging me and others with - that somehow she is absolved of any guilt and should be unpunished. I’m really surprised, Larry, that you continue to talk like that.

What do you mean by “continue to talk like that”? I never started talking like that and I haven’t seen anyone say anything remotely similar to that.

I don’t think you or anyone else absolved her of any guilt at all. And remember, I have no real opinion on the matter. I think the school was entitled to do what they did and I understand why. I also think they could have made another choice. A case could be made for both and neither was sinful or egregious. Neither you nor I nor anyone else here knows enough to pass judgment either way on much of this. A couple of articles and a letter is insufficient for the amount of dogmatism that has been displayed here.

I agree, Jay. I am also sympathetic to the family because years ago one of our kids was singled out unfairly at our church—for very oddball reasons—and we were told repeatedly that we were wrong to question authority. Authority knows best, shut up and sit down and do what you’re told. Everything we said or did made it worse.

Walking in graduation is about acknowledging an accomplishment, and this girl was obviously an exceptional student. While sin has consequences, we have the assurance that our lives are not over; that we should, in fact, forget what’s behind and keep moving forward. Preventing a student from walking in graduation in celebration of their academic accomplishments is IMO mean-spirited and not at all indicative of the balance of consequences and forgiveness, justice and mercy, that we should portray, especially to our young people. This school has missed the opportunity to teach an important spiritual lesson to this girl and the student body in favor of making an example out of her.

Walking in graduation is about acknowledging an accomplishment, and this girl was obviously an exceptional student. While sin has consequences, we have the assurance that our lives are not over; that we should, in fact, forget what’s behind and keep moving forward. Preventing a student from walking in graduation in celebration of their academic accomplishments is IMO mean-spirited and not at all indicative of the balance of consequences and forgiveness, justice and mercy, that we should portray, especially to our young people. This school has missed the opportunity to teach an important spiritual lesson to this girl and the student body in favor of making an example out of her.

This topic came up on Facebook and a young mom who had a baby out of wedlock said that if this happened at her church or school, she no longer would have attended. She would have stayed away entirely. This sends the message to girls that they will pay the ultimate consequence of sex outside of marriage if they get “caught.” They will be publicly shamed. I have never, ever, heard of a young man under the same microscope.

Again, would a young man be kept from walking 3 months after confessing? Think about it. What about those who are unbelievers? Would their response invite people to Christ? I think not. It’s anti-evangelism.

Regarding the bride-price, it’s worth noting that it wasn’t just to compensate the father “for his loss”. Any number of factors would be involved, including the cost of raising the daughter, insurance in case the husband died or left the daughter, and so on. A daughter of a nobleman, or a particularly “marriageable” daughter, might get a higher bride-price than one who lacked, say, beauty, health, or ability in the kitchen. But that said, when the father said “I agree”, that settled the matter. The bride-price was paid, whatever his motives were.

And it does here, too. Which is to say that to argue that the Bible tells us nothing about how to handle the case of someone caught in fornication simply splits hairs with cultural traditions. We can do some of the hard work of exegesis and hermeneutics and apply the realities that the Bible tells us to flee it, that the father ought to get involved to determine whether the couple ought to move forward in marriage and what price ought to be paid, that a recent pattern of sexual immorality is incompatible with positions of leadership and authority, and that a pattern of unrepentant sexual immorality is incompatible with fellowship.

And punishment? As I’ve noted above, Biblical punishments are emphatically not punishment for the sake of punishment, but are rather predicated on the risks to others. In the Torah, the thief is punished with restitution, the murderer with death, for this very reason. Put another way, if we have no Biblical mandate for or against a given consequence….maybe….just maybe….we ought to err on the side of caution? The Bible does not say, after all, that the person striving to flee fornication ought to be excluded from fellowship, and the very notion that being excluded from fellowship and in-person teaching would somehow enhance Godliness ought to strike us as at least counter-intuitive.

Really, when I read people argue that the girl ought to be punished beyond the consequences of her sin—bearing a baby without the comfort of a husband, 8am classes with morning sickness, losing chances for college and marriage and the like, loss of leadership positions, etc..—I’ve got to wonder whether they’ve got any clue what a woman goes through in the best of circumstances when she brings a child into the world. Plus, we need to consider that this girl gets consequences in her family, in her extrafamilial relationships, at church, and now at school….don’t we have a responsibility to work with others and say “OK, I think this is more than enough to make the point!”

Jay, so it all boils down to a judgment call. The school decided to prohibit Maddi from walking. You believe that is excessive punishment.

No, I believe that barring her from walking at graduation is excessive on top of all the other punishments that the school levied on top of her plus all the other natural consequences Maddi will deal with (which I and others have pointed out) is excessive. To say that I feel she’s being ‘excessively punished’ is to misrepresent me and my argument.

I think I’ve been pretty clear about that, and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop doing that.