Wearing suits to church has been a common American tradition for decades.

FOUR REASONS SUNDAY ATTIRE IS IMPORTANT TO CHRISTIAN MILLENNIALS

“Those Millennials are so dang selfish. All they care about is their preference of worship style and their grungy clothes.”

An older gentleman in a church made that statement to me. I did not make it up. Sadly, he said each of those words.

I disagree.

For certain, there are exceptions within any group. But among the Christian Millennials, I find a group truly seeking to reach out in their communities; truly trying to invite peers to church; and truly willing to sacrifice for the sake of the gospel.

The Millennials (born between 1980 and 2000) are America’s largest generation ever, over 78 million strong. But only about 15 to 20 percent of this generation is Christian. Based on our research thus far, however, the Millennial Christians may be the most potent missional generation we have ever known in America.

Okay, back to the issue of attire worn on Sundays (or whatever the worship day may be). Why is that issue important to Millennials? I recently had the opportunity to interview a number of these Christian young adults. Their responses may surprise you.

They want their unchurched friends to feel comfortable if they come to their churches. “Personally, I would wear a tux to church if that helped get my friends here,” one young Millennial male told me. “But my friends don’t wear tuxedos and they don’t dress like the rest of the people in my church. They would really feel out of place here.”
Their friends have told them that “properly dressed” churchgoers have looked down on them when they came to church. A female Millennial told me, “I was so embarrassed for my friend. I finally got her to go with me to church. She had no idea what we mean by ‘Sunday dress.’ You should have seen the condescending looks she got wearing her jeans. She won’t be back. I’ll probably find another church too.”
There is confusion about “giving your best to God.” “Yep, I’ve heard that phrase a few times. For some of our older members, giving your best means wearing their subjective definition of best.” I was listening to the same female Millennial I quoted above. “Did you know the tie that men wear had its origins in the early 17th century? Is that ‘giving your best to God’? I think giving our best is a matter of the heart, not the whitewashed tombs of what we wear on the outside.” Ouch.
“Tattoos, tatters, and piercings are not welcome here.” That quote came from a 31-year old Christian Millennial male. He went on to say, “Most of my friends have one or more of those in their appearance. I know they will not be welcomed in my church. What am I supposed to do?”

Christian Millennials as a whole care deeply about reaching their peers. But many of them don’t feel their friends would be welcomed or comfortable in their own churches.

As one young lady asked me, “What are our options?”

Good question.

Let me hear your thoughts.

http://thomrainer.com/2016/11/691509/

That would be a great argument, other things being equal. The problem is that other things are not equal.

What I mean is that if (a) the main purpose of believers gathering was to get unbelievers to come with them, and if (b) there were no limits at all to what we can do to get that result, it would make perfect sense to dress in whatever way gets unbelieving friends to come to church.

But neither of these conditions is true. So evaluating the options requires a clear understanding of the purposes of the gathering of believers and secondly of what sort of limits those purposes—and other biblical principles place on what we may do when we worship together as God’s people.

I’m not saying the answers are obvious. What should be obvious, though, is that it’s not simply a calculation of whatever gets unbelievers to show up. Not even mainly that.

(Also it’s not a whitewashed tomb if you are alive inside…. everybody forgets that the Pharisees were unbelievers)

In the last year I’ve attended some weddings and funerals and noticed that the majority of men didn’t wear suits. The older the men the more likely they were to be wearing suits. I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that the majority of millenial men don’t even own a suit.

[Aaron Blumer]

That would be a great argument, other things being equal. The problem is that other things are not equal.

What I mean is that if (a) the main purpose of believers gathering was to get unbelievers to come with them, and if (b) there were no limits at all to what we can do to get that result, it would make perfect sense to dress in whatever way gets unbelieving friends to come to church.

But neither of these conditions is true. So evaluating the options requires a clear understanding of the purposes of the gathering of believers and secondly of what sort of limits those purposes—and other biblical principles place on what we may do when we worship together as God’s people.

I’m not saying the answers are obvious. What should be obvious, though, is that it’s not simply a calculation of whatever gets unbelievers to show up. Not even mainly that.

(Also it’s not a whitewashed tomb if you are alive inside…. everybody forgets that the Pharisees were unbelievers)

Aaron, the reason I posted this article from Thom Rainer is to expose what I’ve seen as a major problem with fundamentalist churches when it comes to worship and dress. Mainly the attitude towards someone who comes in wearing jeans or whatever and not adhering to the unwritten dress code. I saw it occur off and on for 35 years in traditional Baptist churches. The underlying principle of loving your neighbor as yourself should be threaded throughout whatever Biblical principle that is developed when God’s people gather for worship. I will quote from Rainer who is quoting the female Millennial. As “I was so embarrassed for my friend. I finally got her to go with me to church. She had no idea what we mean by ‘Sunday dress.’ You should have seen the condescending looks she got wearing her jeans. She won’t be back. I’ll probably find another church too.” This happens alot more than what we care to admit.

This quote from Joel speaks to me, a lot:

You should have seen the condescending looks she got wearing her jeans. She won’t be back. I’ll probably find another church too.”

Not to put too fine a point on it, but anyone who cannot resist the urge to give a condescending look on people in jeans—or otherwise dressed in more “proletarian” attire—needs to throw away their suits and ties and get a clue about how to work with people. You want a big issue? There you go.

[Aaron Blumer]

That would be a great argument, other things being equal. The problem is that other things are not equal.

What I mean is that if (a) the main purpose of believers gathering was to get unbelievers to come with them, and if (b) there were no limits at all to what we can do to get that result, it would make perfect sense to dress in whatever way gets unbelieving friends to come to church.

But neither of these conditions is true. So evaluating the options requires a clear understanding of the purposes of the gathering of believers and secondly of what sort of limits those purposes—and other biblical principles place on what we may do when we worship together as God’s people.

I’m not saying the answers are obvious. What should be obvious, though, is that it’s not simply a calculation of whatever gets unbelievers to show up. Not even mainly that.

(Also it’s not a whitewashed tomb if you are alive inside…. everybody forgets that the Pharisees were unbelievers)

I think it’s more often becoming not just unbelievers who feel uncomfortable because of things like dress. Like Ron said, how many people even own suits these days? Now, I do wear a suit or coat every Sunday morning, and sometimes even during the week… but if you walk into a restaurant and you are the only one wearing jeans when everyone else if wearing evening formal attire… it is an awkward feeling.
Coming to church looking nice doesn’t necessarily have to mean for our generation what it did in the past. There is nothing wrong with a suit or tie, but neither should it be a clear line of demarcation. While I do wear a suit, as I mentioned, Our church does not dictate to our ushers, choir members, even our assistant pastor that they have to do the same. People know that they should make an effort, and everyone does, in their own way.

(NOTE: Sorry for the size… I thought I could reduce them, but the settings don’t seem to “stick.”)

All of these pictures illustrate that we make this a bigger issue than it needs to be, I think. Don’t let standards get in the way of community.

[Aaron Blumer]

@Greg, don’t personally disagree with any of that. Rainer’s arg. is a problem though. But it’s not as simple as “whatever works,” whether it’s making believers or unbelievers comfortable.

I’m personally more concerned about the kinds of arguments that are made than the details of what’s concluded.

A fully developed view of gathered worship and the meaningfulness of cultural features is usually missing.
These factors are not ignored in the Pentateuch.

But if you read Rainer’s post, he does speak of the “unchurched,” not necessarily unregenerate people. While the responsibility may lie with believers not to forsake the assembling and so on, we should be mindful of being open to some measure of reasonable accommodation, should we not? I’m not trying to argue that we bring in water slides to the baptistery or anything like that. But it does seem like “we” end up being more rigid on this issue than is Biblically warranted. There are things we should be rigid on. The extent to which we leave people with the impression that this is one of our defining distinctives should probably not be one of them.

All things considered, I find these three principles helpful:

• Dress in a respectful way.
• Dress in a holy manner.
• Dress modestly.

The result will not be suits in every service, thought it may result in some. It will be appropriate nonetheless.

Greg,

Other than the cultural aspect, those pictures look very similar to what we have at our church — quite a mix between those who wear suits, those who are completely casual (jeans/flip-flops), and in between, like jacket with open shirt, casual dresses or slacks, things like that.

I do think we need to give this some thought vs. just “anything goes,” but I would agree we don’t want to make church more intimidating than it needs to be. There are plenty of expensive restaurants that still require a jacket for men, no jeans/shorts, etc., but I would argue we are not trying to make church “elite” in that fashion. Those restaurants don’t care if you leave because you don’t have the right attire, but that’s not the offense we want to give to people in the church. The offense of the Gospel is plenty. I don’t really like the slide towards everything being completely casual (maybe that’s just my age/upbringing showing), but I struggle to come up with a biblical reason to *demand* more formal dress.