The Problem of "Church Hopping" in My Community (Part 1)
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I realize this practice is not unique to my community, but I think it happens in the Greenville, South Carolina area at an unusual level. Too much, in fact.
According to City-Data, there are 473 Evangelical Protestant churches in Greenville County. This does not include mainline denominational churches. Recently a visitor to our church told me she was looking for a church and had attended over 50 so far! (She was not church-hopping, she was church-shopping. There’s a difference.) There are many, many church options with varying degrees and shades of distinction. If a church member becomes disenchanted with his current church, he can most likely find another one that promises to match his preferences in a particular element of church life.
This isn’t the only locale where people frequently change churches. In searching for relevant information, I found an article on Church Hopping in Kenya! So the phenomenon is universal. But during the nearly 12 years I have pastored in the Greenville area, I have observed this taking place more than anywhere else I have ministered.
There are legitimate reasons for people to change churches within their current community. But there are also reasons that are not so good, and there are also ways of doing it that are potentially harmful to the individual and to the churches involved.
I want to understand this phenomenon better. I want to make some observations about it and state concerns. And I want to suggest, for myself and others, some positive steps to consider.
I’m probably opening myself up to hearing some difficult things. I probably need to hear them. I’ll try to have thick skin. One of the points I will make later is that as pastors we should be providing venues and building relationships with our people so that when they have concerns they feel comfortable expressing them rather than just disappearing. So I’m ready to listen as well as talk.
Maybe some local pastors will find this and want to make some observations and suggestions. Please do.
It’s probably obvious that, as a pastor, I really struggle with this, especially when it’s such a common occurrence. Maybe I should try to put myself in the place of people who change churches. What would I do if I weren’t a pastor, and if I or some of my family were struggling with the church we attended? It’s hard to say. But I want to learn as a pastor, and I want to encourage and challenge people regarding the issue.
What Are People Thinking When They Decide to Change Churches?
Some tell you what they’re thinking, but many don’t. Some tell their friends. Some drift away silently. In my experience very, very few will initiate contact with a member of our pastoral staff and explain their reasons for leaving. Some will play “hide and seek” with the pastors—they withdraw from ministry involvement, gradually stop attending various functions and services, then don’t return phone calls or emails when we try to find out what’s going on.
So it’s not always easy to determine what people are thinking. But here’s what I have learned.
Needs
There are people who think their current church is not meeting their needs. The youth ministry, singles ministry, family ministry, benevolence care, etc., isn’t fulfilling their expectations. They leave to look for a church that will meet these perceived needs.
Preaching
Some are looking for a different kind of preaching—more practical, more confrontational, more dynamic, more evangelistic, more relevant, more helpful for new believers, more nourishing to mature believers.
Relationships
Some have a hard time being “connected.” They are not making friends, not growing in relationships, can’t find where they fit. So they float elsewhere, looking for that connectivity.
Changes
Sometimes people leave because they disagree with changes happening in the church. This is usually not over doctrine. It’s almost always about personal preferences. Often there is not just one issue but an accumulation of issues that leads to someone leaving. When the church, or the leadership of the church, refines their philosophy, develops new elements of church life or ministry, updates the look or makes adjustments to the culture of the church, some people will adapt and others will depart.
Or, on the other hand, there are people who don’t think enough changes are being made, or the changes are not happening rapidly enough for them.
Counseling
A few times families have left over what I’ll call a counseling issue. In these cases, we’ve provided counsel through a difficult situation, often involving a problem between family members. The family has strong negative opinions about the counsel we’ve provided, and leaves the church over it.
Conflict
Many instances of church-hopping happen because of conflict. One member has an interpersonal conflict with another member. There is disagreement, hurt, cold-shoulder treatment, and hard feelings. There may be a perceived offense and no effort to talk with the offender about the issue in order to resolve it—the solution is to leave. Or a person has a conflict with ministry workers, over how their child was treated by a teacher or nursery worker, for example. There are people who have a very shallow commitment level to the church, and one offense, disagreement, or instance of perceived neglect is enough reason for them to leave and look elsewhere.
Business
Interpersonal conflicts are frequently business-related. Christians like to do business with other Christians. It feels safe and it’s nice to support other believers. But if there’s a disagreement, it can get extremely messy. Construction projects and investment schemes turn into major sources of conflict between church members. I have seen this happen in the Greenville area more than anywhere else I have lived and ministered. When this kind of conflict happens, it’s rare that both parties will be satisfied with the outcome. If both parties are members of the same church, one often leaves.
Recruiting
And finally, some are recruited, or at least invited, by their friends who have migrated to another church.
Concerns Our Pastors Have with the Church-Hopping Phenomenon
I’ll state them in the form of questions to be considered. I hope they will challenge people who might be part of this phenomenon to evaluate what they’re really doing.
- Are you avoiding needed personal growth in your own life by leaving your church and going someplace that you think will better fit your preferences and perceived needs?
- Are you more committed to your own preferences on non-essential issues than you are to the body of Christ, the absolutes of Scripture, and your relationships with the members and leadership of your church family?
- Is it right for you to run from conflict and disagreement with others (whether they are other church members or leaders) rather than do the hard but God-honoring work of walking through problems with them, having some uncomfortable conversations that result in growth for yourself and others?
- Have you considered that other members or leaders in your current church may need to hear your input so they can process your concerns and possibly make changes in their own lives or in the life of the church?
- Should you learn to live with people who are different, who apply truth to life in ways that don’t align with your own lifestyle applications, but who love and serve Jesus Christ with dedication and passion?
- Have you considered how your decision to change churches will impact others? Will your leaving potentially influence others to respond to problems by leaving also? Will your friends make your problems their problems and follow your example?
- If you have a family, what will your actions teach your children about how to respond to conflict, disagreement, or differences among Christians?
- Do you realize that you may find a church that seems to fit your list of criteria for a desirable place to attend, but that will one day disappoint you, just like we have? What will you do then?
- What is your decision really about? God? Others? Or you?
In the next article I’ll make some constructive suggestions for addressing the issue of the church-hopping phenomenon in our community.
Dean Taylor Bio
Dean Taylor is Senior Pastor of Calvary Baptist Church in Simpsonville, South Carolina. He has served in pastoral ministry for twenty-five years. Dean is a graduate of Bob Jones University and Seminary (BA Bible, MA Theology, MDiv) and Northland International University (DSM). His delights include his family, reading, and the great outdoors.
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[Ed Vasicek]People also leave for music. That is a meg-reason here in Indiana. They call it “worship,” but they don’t leave because they want more prayer, longer sermons, or more Scripture memory. “Worship” is a term to mask the more shallow reason, namely musical taste. Music has become an idol for some: people make it too important and they value it above more important things. They view the church building as the house of the Lord and music as the sacrifice. Church buildings, of course, are man’s invention, and while music is a way to worship God, it is not as central as they make it.
Does this cut both ways?
Here’s my question: Say the issue wasn’t someone “church hopping” because their musical preference (Ed uses “musical taste”) doesn’t match (or no longer matches) the particular church they are at. (I personally think this would be a bad reason to leave one church for another). Say instead that one’s own church switches to a style of music that doesn’t match one’s “musical taste,” even if that switch was from “traditional” to “contemporary.” Would this be a valid, sufficient reason to leave that church for another?
[Larry Nelson]Ed Vasicek wrote:
People also leave for music. That is a meg-reason here in Indiana. They call it “worship,” but they don’t leave because they want more prayer, longer sermons, or more Scripture memory. “Worship” is a term to mask the more shallow reason, namely musical taste. Music has become an idol for some: people make it too important and they value it above more important things. They view the church building as the house of the Lord and music as the sacrifice. Church buildings, of course, are man’s invention, and while music is a way to worship God, it is not as central as they make it.
Does this cut both ways?
Here’s my question: Say the issue wasn’t someone “church hopping” because their musical preference (Ed uses “musical taste”) doesn’t match (or no longer matches) the particular church they are at. (I personally think this would be a bad reason to leave one church for another). Say instead that one’s own church switches to a style of music that doesn’t match one’s “musical taste,” even if that switch was from “traditional” to “contemporary.” Would this be a valid, sufficient reason to leave that church for another?
Before answering, I’d suggest re-reading Pastor Taylor’s article.
Whether “Yes” or “No,” I can think of some profound implications either way.
Dean, to what extent does the influence of the the large institution in your area factor into this experience? I have never lived in Greenville, but I have lived in Grand Rapids, MI and the greater Des Moines, IA area, and it is interesting to see how sometimes people seem to be connected or more committed/loyal institutionally than they are ecclesiastically. Church hopping can occur elsewhere, but it seems to me there are additional factors in specific places like have been mentioned (something that might be similar in the vicinity of Watertown, WI, let’s say) that factor into this phenomenon. Any thoughts or observations?
Greg Linscott
Marshall, MN
[Greg Linscott]Dean, to what extent does the influence of the the large institution in your area factor into this experience? I have never lived in Greenville
I doubt there is much church hopping in Neillsville, WI. Little supply / Greenville … so many choices
[Greg Linscott]Dean, to what extent does the influence of the the large institution in your area factor into this experience?
Greg, I’m not sure if I’m hitting your question directly, but Dean’s post got me thinking about the exceptional circumstances in Greenville in general. I was a student/Grad Asst there between fall of ‘98 and spring of ‘05. My freshman year, I found a church in East Flat Rock, NC, up highway 25, and stayed the whole time. I wanted to get out of the Greenville area so I could be useful to someone.
So, using my imagination, I could see legitimate reasons to change churches when you really want to serve, and you’re in a church already saturated with godly and capable servants. If I remember right, we did have a family or two start attending our church from the Greenville area just because they wanted to be involved. I suppose that leaves the person vulnerable to the “if I can’t play, I’ll take my marbles elsewhere” attitude, but it can also be born of just a matter-of-fact observation that, while God never needs me for His work, He really doesn’t need me here. :) It’s kind of like watching young children play soccer: “Guys, you can’t all kick the ball at once, especially when you’re on the same team.”
Michael Osborne
Philadelphia, PA
[Larry Nelson]Say instead that one’s own church switches to a style of music that doesn’t match one’s “musical taste,” even if that switch was from “traditional” to “contemporary.” Would this be a valid, sufficient reason to leave that church for another?
I’ll bite. Referring to what I wrote in an earlier post, a change like that in the church has to challenge you to ask, “Do I love an abstract ideal or do I love a flesh-and-blood congregation?” Of course, Jesus is flesh-and-blood and must be loved and worshipped above all else. So some changes in the church that dishonor Jesus would be a grounds for leaving, in time. But simply leaving right away is a violation of your covenant obligations. You have to stay and work through it. If they’re drifting the wrong direction, hello, it’s you’re covenant obligation to help them get back on track.
I’m not sure how much you’re focusing on music in particular, and how much you’re just using music as a test case for “what if the church changes first?”
Lurking in the background of your question is the person to whom the right kind of beat is right up there with the virgin birth, and who would handle drift in either area the same way. Can I bracket that into a separate question, then sidestep it? What I would say that in the event that the church drifts in an area great or small, I have an ongoing function of provoking others to love and good works, and should have been active enough all along,and should get active now, to help my brothers and sisters in a godly way.
Michael Osborne
Philadelphia, PA
Mike, I think you are speaking to what I had in mind, to one degree or another. That tension of wanting to serve, but also wanting specific opportunities that don’t seem to present themselves…
The music discussion others have raised is an interesting factor. Here’s another: what about changing demographics? In the last 4-5 years, the makeup of the congregation I serve has changed significantly (I wrote about this here). In short, sometimes up to half our attending congregation now can be non-native English speakers. We haven’t had anyone leave because of this yet, but I do sometimes wonder how unsettling this might be to some visiting, or if someone more established here would ever consider leaving if there were another similarly organized, viable church option nearby (the closest established options locally would be E-Free, LCMC Lutheran, or somewhere on the continuationist spectrum). We already know that sometimes congregations have relocated… Fourth Baptist in Plymouth, MN is a prominent example, and Wealthy Street/Park Baptist in Grand Rapids (where my wife’s family has been for 3 generations) is another.
In one area I am aware of exploding with population growth… a new congregation was started by an experienced pastor/professor as this growth began… but it wasn’t a direct planting effort of the long-time established church in the community he had been attending. Some left established congregations in that community and the metro to join in that effort, not always with their current pastor’s blessing, either. That can be an interesting scenario to deal with, too.
Greg Linscott
Marshall, MN
[Greg Linscott]Dean, to what extent does the influence of the the large institution in your area factor into this experience? I have never lived in Greenville, but I have lived in Grand Rapids, MI and the greater Des Moines, IA area, and it is interesting to see how sometimes people seem to be connected or more committed/loyal institutionally than they are ecclesiastically. Church hopping can occur elsewhere, but it seems to me there are additional factors in specific places like have been mentioned (something that might be similar in the vicinity of Watertown, WI, let’s say) that factor into this phenomenon. Any thoughts or observations?
Greg, the “saturation” effect mentioned above would be a factor. Also, it seems that people employed by such institutions are very dedicated to their work as a ministry, and in some cases don’t have much time or energy left to devote to church involvement. I am speaking generally - there are many who are very engaged in our church. But for those who aren’t, low involvement can lead to (or be symptom of) low commitment which can turn into floating around to various churches. I will say that the current leadership at BJU seems to be encouraging University personnel to be highly committed to and involved in their local churches. At least I have observed more involvement on the part of some who weren’t in the past.
When a church changes direction and you began attending a church for the direction it had originally, that could warrant a departure, I would think. However, if updating musical styles is the only change (in other words, not forsaking expository preaching or a solid doctrinal emphasis for pop-psych seeker sensitive philosophies), then — if you have truly become attached to the Body — it might be time just to grin and bear it, IMO.
If you have not established roots and tendrils into the Body there, it might be easier to leave. This is especially likely if you have not been there that long. But that goes back to one main issue: we no longer have a family model of church. We would normally endure much to stay on good terms and in fellowship with our earthly family. Given our culture and the preconceptions people have of church life, it may not be possible for churches in the West to truly be a family. A “community,” perhaps. A family, no. And that is why the New Testament Church is apples and even the best churches are oranges.
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