Should Forgiveness be "Unconditional"?

The forgiveness controversy

Back in 1999, I preached a series on the subject of forgiveness. Many folks in our congregation had never heard the approach I took. A number commented that they heard Christian leaders on the radio or in magazines take the opposite position during the weekdays between my sermons.

The world and much of evangelicalism believe that we should forgive unconditionally. Secular psychologists and popular preachers have formed an alliance that intimidates many of us from even considering the alternatives. Yet many Bible teachers believe that forgiveness is conditioned upon repentance. I am in the latter group.

Bible-believing Christians agree that we are to forgive others as God forgives us. If you believe God forgives unconditionally, this would logically lead you to Universalism, the belief that everyone is saved; no one is under the wrath of God because God’s wrath is not directed toward those who are forgiven. If God forgives unconditionally, then none are unforgiven. Most evangelicals recognize that multitudes are lost, yet many say that God forgives unconditionally. Do you see the contradiction here?

That the Lord does not forgive unconditionally is clear in Scripture: “Surely at the command of the LORD it came upon Judah, to remove them from His sight because of the sins of Manasseh… and the LORD would not forgive…” (NIV: 2 Kings 24:3-4).

So lets set aside our preconceptions and consider what the Bible actually teaches about forgiveness. See if my points are validated by God’s Word.

The manner of forgiveness

First, we are to forgive others in the same manner God forgives us. Ephesians 4:32 reads, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

God’s condition for forgiveness

Second, God’s manner of forgiveness requires our repentance. Acts 3:19 gives us a taste of Apostolic preaching: “Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord….” Note that repentance (a change of mind, including regret for sin) is the required condition for God’s forgiveness. God does not hold us to a higher standard than He holds Himself. His grace extends only to those who repent; He does not expect us to be more gracious than He is.

In Acts 8:22, after Simon had sinned by seeking to buy the Holy Spirit, Peter rebuked him with these words: “Therefore repent of this wickedness of yours, and pray the Lord that, if possible, the intention of your heart may be forgiven you.” Note that forgiveness is neither presumed nor assumed. It is conditioned upon repentance.

So if we forgive as God forgives, and God forgives in response to repentance, logically we are to forgive others when they repent.

Levels of forgiveness

Third, we must ask the question, “Forgiveness at what level?” When we turn from our sins (repent) and turn to Christ, all our sins are forgiven: past, present, and future—at least, as far as salvation goes. Nothing can take us out of God’s hand. We are given the righteousness of Christ and the seal of the Holy Spirit, and we are already legally seated in heaven (Ephesians 1-2).

Even though we cannot lose our salvation, we can lose our fellowship with God. When the believer lives in rebellion against God, sin blocks his ability to communicate with God (Psalm 66:18) and places him in a position to be disciplined by the Lord (1 Cor. 11:32). If we grieve the Holy Spirit (Eph. 4:30)—the One who assures us of our salvation (Rom. 8:16)—we could logically lose our sense of assurance as we quiet His voice.

How do we remedy this situation? 1 John 1:9 makes it clear: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” To my way of thinking, this implies that if we do NOT confess our sins, he will NOT forgive us our sins. If God forgives us unconditionally, the verse becomes meaningless.

Sometimes forgiveness involves God not zapping people physically here on earth. I think that when Jesus asked the Father to forgive those who crucified Him, He meant, “Don’t zap them.” His example clearly makes a distinction between sinning in ignorance (“for they know not what they do”) and sinning with full knowledge.

Forgiveness in relationships

Fourth, we must boldly apply these concepts to our relationships. If others confess how they have sinned against us, we are obligated to initiate the forgiveness process. That does not mean we immediately trust them, for credibility can only be restored through faithful behavior over time. Sometimes credibility can never be fully restored. In such a case, forgiveness (a restoration of relationship as if the offense had never occurred) can never be complete.

Jesus put it this way: “So watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him” (Luke 17:3). Although shorter accounts of Jesus’ teaching could be wrongly interpreted to suggest unconditional forgiveness, the longer passage in Luke presents a more detailed truth and qualifies our obligation to forgive.

We cannot always simply choose to forgive; forgiveness can be a struggle that may take a long time; it sometimes involves a process of sorting through emotions and moving gradually toward forgiveness (complete reconciliation). Sometimes we might need to say, “With God’s help, I will try to forgive you, but I am not there yet.” Honesty is crucial at this point. Christians who believe they must immediately forgive an offense often become good liars—to themselves first, and then to others.

Even when someone does not repent, it is often in our best interest to let a hurt go, if we can. We should do so because we know that bitterness drains us and keeps us from enjoying the life God has given us. We should not do so out of false guilt, but for our own benefit. Do not confuse this with genuine forgiveness, which brings complete relational restoration.

I have seen people horribly victimized and then plagued by guilt because they cannot seem to forgive the one who abused them. This guilt adds to their heavy burden. Often such guilt is unwarranted because the offender has not even requested forgiveness or evidenced genuine repentance. Sometimes people simply do not want to forgive because they are grasping for control—withholders of grace. Forgiveness evens the score, and some of us want the advantage and excuse of being a wronged person.

God recognizes that some situations are so evil that it is natural for us to want to get even. God Himself is a God of justice, so since we are in His image, we desire justice. Paul wrote: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil…. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom. 12:19-21). Find consolation in knowing that God will hold everyone accountable; none can evade Him.

I have presented what I believe to be the correct teaching of Scripture about forgiveness. My challenge to you is to study the Scriptures and test the above, especially since my understanding is the minority viewpoint. If you disagree with me, I’ll forgive you!


Ed Vasicek was raised as a Roman Catholic in Cicero, Illinois. During his senior year in high school (in 1974), Cicero Bible Church reached out to him, and he received Jesus Christ as his Savior by faith alone. Ed later felt a call to ministry and enrolled at Moody Bible Institute (B.A., Pastoral Studies/Greek). After graduating, he served as pastor of Victory Bible Church of Chicago (a branch work of Cicero Bible Church) and married Marylu Troppito. In 1983, the couple moved to Kokomo where Ed began pastoring Highland Park Church, where he still serves. Ed and Marylu have two adult children, Hannah and Luke. Ed loves to write. He has written over 500 weekly columns for the opinion page of the Kokomo Tribune, published articles in Pulpit Helps magazine, and populated his church’s website with an endless barrage of papers. You can access them at www.highlandpc.com.

Discussion

I accept your “minority viewpoint.” I just finished reading your article as part of my devotionals for today.

Hi Ed,

You know how much I appreciate what you write, and your wisdom. Like you, I have preached on the topic, but unlike you, I still have some loose ends in my thinking.

Would you mind responding to a couple of matters that seem to challenge some of what is written above:

1) If forgiveness is conditional upon repentance, what did Jesus mean when he said “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

2) Is forgiveness a “transaction,’ a ‘promise,” a ‘choice,’ a ‘mindset,’ and/or a feeling?

Thanks!

Thanks, Ed.

I find the subject of “forgiveness” to be a pet peeve of mine. I will be reading along in a theological or Christian living-type book enjoying the author and suddenly he will start talking about “forgiveness” in an unbiblical way (forgive everyone unconditionally even if they don’t repent or ask for forgiveness, etc., etc.). I have seen the idea of “forgiveness” stretched until it broke such as when Billy Graham “forgave” Bill Clinton for his immorality (even before Clinton admitted he had done anything wrong) or when a missionary here in Liberia went to the jail to “forgive” the man who had just raped his daughter and killed his wife; he then went on to tell the police to release the killer since he had “forgiven” him.

I have always believed that we should forgive as God forgave us (Eph. 4:32) for some time now but this doctrine been solidified a lot through books I have read and the training in nouthetic counseling I received through Faith Baptist Church in Lafayette, IN. I think the main problem with Christians is that they define the word “forgiveness” in a nebulous, unbiblical way that encompasses everything from true forgiveness to getting rid of bad feelings about someone. I believe the main confusion is over holding bitterness in your heart against someone who has wronged you and/or wishing for (planning for?) revenge. The Bible makes it clear that we should not be the ones that seek vengeance but should trust God to make things right (Rom. 12:17-21) and that we should not harbor bitterness towards anyone - even those who have wronged us greatly (Heb. 12:14-15). I think the problem comes in when people releases this bitterness and desire for vengeance and they regain the joy of the Lord in their lives it feels so great that they want to call this “forgiveness.” As a matter of a fact, in the afore-mentioned books it usually is evident that if the author would just replace his uses of the word “forgive” with “release bitterness and trust God to make things right” the book would become much more biblical.

We must follow the Biblical principles of forgiveness found in Luke 17:3-4 (brother sins - he repents - comes and asks forgiveness - you forgive), Eph. 4:32 (forgive as God forgave us - we first repented, asked God for forgiveness, then God forgave) 1 John 1:9 (agree with God about your sin - He forgives our sin and cleanses us from all unrighteousness), and other verses. If we don’t, we cause problems both for the “forgiver” and the “forgivee.”

First, the forgiver: the Bible has given us principles to follow when someone has done wrong to us in Matt. 5:24, Matt. 18:15-18, Gal. 6:1, etc. If we have been wronged and do not follow these principles in regards to other Christians, we are doing them no kindness. They need to face their sin and repent of it, not just be “forgiven.” It is the easy way out (“oh, it’s no problem, I just forgave him”) but it allows other Christians to remain in sin (sometimes unknowingly) without confrontation for the purpose of reconciliation.

Also, it is important to follow the Biblical forgiveness process in cases where someone has sinned for the sake of the forgiver and the forgivee: 1. offender sins; 2. person offended confronts this person; 3. offender repents of sin and apologizes; 4. the offended person then forgives him (verbally). This last step is very important for the forgiver since it marks his obligation to forgive someone who truly repents. Some, when they are asked, “Will you forgive me,” will say something like “no need for forgiveness,” “oh, I’ve already forgotten about that,” or “I have already forgiven you.” This breaks the forgiveness process and does not produce the true reconciliation demanded by the Bible (2 Cor. 5:18-19).

It also can create some very difficult problems in our obligations to other people in the world around us: if you unilaterally forgive the rapist, thief, or murderer you may feel you have no obligation to report this to the authorities and in the end cause rape, robbery or murder to happen to someone else.

Secondly, improper forgiveness hurts the offender. It allows him to continue in sin (sometimes unknowingly) without being made to face what he has done and how it affects his relationship with God and others, it does not allow the Matt. 18 principles to work in his life, and it short-circuits the confrontation-repentance-reconciliation process outlined by the Bible. Why should the offender apologize and ask for forgiveness if he has already been forgiven?

The only place in the Bible where these principles of forgiveness do not seem to be taught is where Christ asked God to forgiven those crucifying Him (Lk. 23:34) and Stephen asked God to not make those who stoned him accountable for what they had done (Acts 7:60). However, I agree with Ed’s assessment that this was an appeal to God not to zap them for their current sin of murder, not an overall forgiveness - otherwise this would mean that all who crucified Jesus would go to heaven when they died.

MS -------------------------------- Luke 17:10

Great Article. I have also recently preached a similar sermon series. I highly recommend the book “Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers to Complex Problems and Deep Wounds” by Chris Brauns.

Greg Wilson

Ed, I very much appreciate your approach. I have been around the thought that if person X has wronged person Y then person Y was the one responsible for going to person X and forgiving them. As you so ably pointed out, this does not sit well with the theology of forgiveness.

Regarding the Luke passage for others, Matthew Henry’s commentary puts it like this: “Now the sayings of Christ upon the cross as well as his sufferings had a further intention than they seemed to have. This was a mediatorial word, and explicatory of the intent and meaning of his death: “Father, forgive them, not only these, but all that shall repent, and believe the gospel;’’ and he did not intend that these should be forgiven upon any other terms. ” Jesus’ intent was not immediate forgiveness, but the opportunity for forgiveness.

A great book on this subject is located here: http://www.chrisbrauns.com/unpackingforgiveness/

Hi Ed,

I think you raise some great points, and bring up a topic that should definitely be discussed more in evangelical circles, instead of just assuming that we’re all on the same page. But I see a few issues when I look to carry this logic out to its logical conclusion and look at what that would be in my life, and then what Scripture says.

One of the strongest issues that comes to mind is what David realizes in Psalm 51:4; it is against God (and God only) that we have sinned. We very well may be hurt by others, offended, or feel as though some great (real or imagined) injustice has been brought upon us. But that is not the biggest offense - Sin flies in the face of God. When the focus is on us, we are justified to expect reconciliation. But when it is focused on God, I believe we are commanded to life out Romans 12:20 and Matthew 6:9-15, forgiving others just as we have sinned.

Maybe we need to define “forgive”, and I am not sure that I am even the best one to do that. But, I see a difference between forgiving someone and going back to a perfect, friendly relationship with them, and forgiving as in “I no longer expect payment for your action.” Everyone seems to be ok when Romans 12:19 says “ ‘vengeance is mine, I will repay’ says the Lord” and still holding the possibility of a restored relationship in front of someone as a carrot that they can come chase, and guilt if they can’t meet our expectation of what we justify as “repentance.” I absolutely agree that there are many who are wronged in horrible ways - abuse is one such example. And I would agree that there is probably guilt left on those who have been abused who hear that they need to “forgive” and think that they need to be sitting down for a Sunday lunch with that person the next week. That level of thinking is just about as unhealthy as it gets. But for us, I see forgiveness as being a need to accept that our responsibility in judging that person is over, and that we have no claim in the outcome. That is a hard thing, and may take years for some (That comes of sounding trite, and I really don’t mean it too - I can’t begin to imagine the pain and distrust and hurt that some people carry with them from circumstances they had absolutely no control over, and can do nothing but pray for people who are affected by sins like that every day). Because it is hard does not mean that we should teach against it; forgiveness is a process of sanctification that can come ONLY as the Spirit changes hearts. We need to be careful that we don’t idolize forgiveness, but I think that we are called to love, and forgive.

There are other passages that we can all carry on with, but this is getting wordy; so my last point is on Colossians 3:13, which has been an important verse in my life since I was “wronged” a few years back. What I see here goes back to Psalm 51 - if we are to forgive literally as Christ forgives us, then really we must accept that there is no way that the offender can meet our requirements (which must be just), and then pay the penalty for them. Forgiveness for that person would come only if we believed that the offender had accepted our payment for their offense. Which, I think, we would all agree is not at all what Scripture teaches in any way at all (it’s even weird to write that out…). Instead, by grace alone, as all of our offenses before God have been forgiven (or judicially are no longer held against us), we should glorify God by living that same model out, no longer holding the offenses of others against them. It is not as though the offense never happened, but rather that “the judge” (what we set ourselves up to be) has thrown the case out and no longer waits for a payment, because of what Christ has done for us.

Perhaps the best example of this is the parable of the two debtors in luke 7:41-43.

What is the purpose in our forgiving others? Is it to look really good?? Then paul calls it sin in Romans. But if it is to show the forgiveness that God gives, then should strive for this, as we look to glorify God in our whole lives.

We need to be careful that after being saved by grace alone, we do not create a system of works by which we forgive others.

Hey Ed. I agree with Ted that I always appreciate your insight. A few questions though.

How does Psalm 51 fit in where David says, ‘against you, you only have I sinned’. If I remember correctly, my Hebrew prof at college had said the OT frame of thought was that we sin against God, but ?offend? people. (I cannot remember the word he used in reference to other people, so don’t quote me on that.)

Second, yes, we need to forgive as Christ forgave, but are there points at which this breaks down?(forgiving unconditionally) For example, if Christ forgives conditionally on our repentance (I would assume true repentance), then I would need to know if the transgressor is truly repentant, would I not? Or is this where it breaks down?

[Ted Bigelow] Hi Ed,

You know how much I appreciate what you write, and your wisdom. Like you, I have preached on the topic, but unlike you, I still have some loose ends in my thinking.

Would you mind responding to a couple of matters that seem to challenge some of what is written above:

1) If forgiveness is conditional upon repentance, what did Jesus mean when he said “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

2) Is forgiveness a “transaction,’ a ‘promise,” a ‘choice,’ a ‘mindset,’ and/or a feeling?

Thanks!
Good questions, Ted.

1. My answer to the first is simple: God forgave those who crucified Jesus for crucifying the Son of God because they did not realize He was the Son of God. But God did not forgive them for crucifying an innocent man. This forgiveness meant that God did not zap them on the spot, and it meant that they could be forgiven if repentant later on. I still think they will answer for their injustice and cruelty.

They were only forgiven for doing “what they knew not,” not what they did know. There is a sense in which directly opposing God makes one the “chief of sinners.” The Roman Emperors were a whole lot more cruel than Paul, torturing people, ordering massacres, and enslaving masses. Yet Paul was the “chief of sinners” precisely because he directly opposed God (I Timothy 1:12-16). Gamaliel had the good sense to avoid putting himself in this position (Acts 5:34-39). The stoning of Stephen (Acts 7:60) fits in this same category. This type of sin — directly rebelling against God — is the type of sin committed by Korah in the book of Numbers and could bring God’s immediate physical wrath.

2. Here is my attempt to answer the second. Forgiveness can mean many things, anywhere from partial to complete. Complete forgiveness is usually what we have in mind and usually is our goal. That means our relationship is restored as though the transgression had never occurred. This is not always possible. For example, if someone molests your child, even if the person is repentant and you express some level of forgiveness, the relationship can never be the same and that person will never be trusted with children again.

Matthew 18:6 suggests some sins are much more serious than others, so all sins are not in the same category:
But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.
Forgiveness received from God is based objectively upon expiation and propitiation, subjectively received by repentance and faith. For us, depending upon how we have been hurt and the nature of the offense, forgiveness can be a commitment to begin the process of restoration, or it can be a simple choice made immediately (in instances where the infraction is minor). So I cannot give you a “one size fits all” answer to your second question.

I’ll try to answer the other posts later today.

"The Midrash Detective"

I think this captures the “wise as a serpent” part of the Bible’s teaching on prayer. But I do think scripture has another side to it. Realistically I don’t disagree with what you’re saying… But the other side is present as well

“How many times should I forgive my brother”? Peter was expecting an answer like yours… but Jesus doesn’t answer “well, it depends if he’s repentant or not”. or “well, if he keeps having to ask forgiveness clearly he hasn’t really repented” - I’m really hesitant to write off Matthew as a misinterpretation.

_______________ www.SutterSaga.com

Nice article Ed,

I questioned your example where God would not forgive Manasseh, most translations use ‘pardon’ I have not studied out the exact Hebrew word, but I will look into it more. I would point out that eventually God ‘forgave’ Manasseh but did not ‘pardon’ or let the action go without penalty. That leads me to my question and understanding.

Granted, it is all in the definitions, but what is not. I would like to go with the definition of forgive as :

to remit a debt or sin. or to give up the obligation owed.

I would be in that first group that you mentioned, but I would want to clarify the idea with the term restoration.

replacing to a former state.

I believe, in short here, that Jesus Christ died on the cross for the forgiveness of all sins. But that without repentance we are not restored. Sadly the lost go to Hell forgiven but not restored. I am sure I am opening a can of theological worms that I do not think is necessary for this discussion. the discussion is on forgiveness one to another.

I can, and I believe should forgive my brother, 70 x 7 times, with that being basically every time. I am not required to restore the relationship without their repentance. This is a very over simplification, but it is a blog, not a disertation.

I think this allows forgiveness and all the benfits that go with it, like a close relationship with God ( Matt 18) and also allows us to show God’s love to the offender. I can forgive one who has sinned against me with or without their permission or apology. Then the onus of restoring the relationship is upon them. They can deny the offense, I have still forgiven them as commanded. I am following the example of the Lord, in forgiving both the ignorant and unrepentant (Lord forgive them they do not know what they do.) and yet do not need to condone their behavior or restore a relationship that is unhealthy for me.

It also provides explanation for back slidden Christians. They are forgiven, but out of the relationship God intended until they are taken home and completely transformed into the image of our Lord.

Just some thoughts to kick around, I apologize in advance for my slow response to these comments. I get busy and away from my computer.

He who created us without our help will not save us without our consent. - Augustine

Hello Pastor Vasicek,

I actually do take the opposite approach to the subject. I think that this is a great subject to be explored and rarely have I read something on either side of this discussion where I feel as if the whole matter has been treated.

Here is the basis of my disagreement. It really all has to do with the way you interpret Ephesians 4:32. Under “manner of forgiveness” you quote this verse. Then you immediately begin your next section with “God’s manner of forgiveness requires our repentance.” Your argument then seems to be that we are to forgive others in the same manner that God forgave us—hence, Ephesians 4:32.

But Ephesians 4:32 isn’t discussing the process of forgiveness. Paul has been instructing the Ephesians to order their lives differently from the lives of the heathen around them. They live in the futility of their mind being darkened in their understanding…because of the hardness of their heart. They are living according to something that Paul calls our “old self.” This is why they lie, lose their tempers, steal, speak corrupting things, and grieve the Holy Spirit. This is why they are full of bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander…. Instead of living that way we should order our lives according to our new self, our Christ-self. We should tell the truth, be self-controlled, work so we can give to others, and speak words that build people up spiritually. We should be kind and forgiving. Why should we be forgiving? Didn’t God forgive us? I don’t think the process of forgiveness is being taught here. Instead, I would argue that we are being taught the intensity or depth of our forgiveness. I might even argue that we are to be forgiving others based on our mutual relationship with Christ (this is referring to “one another.”)

If you take Ephesians 4:32 to be referring to the process of forgiveness then obviously you can only forgive as the offending party repents. That is the basis by which God forgave me. If you take it in one of the other ways that I mentioned then this process falls apart.

The other passage often cited is in Luke 17:3-4 where Jesus says: ” Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.” The teaching is clear. If someone sins against us and repents, then we must forgive them. But what if they do not repent? Are we free to withhold forgiveness? That’s the inference your article. If someone does not repent then what? Actually, Jesus doesn’t address that situation. To infer that we are free to withhold forgiveness at this point is to read into the text our own opinion, isn’t it?

Finally, I would say that there are other passages that make such a strong statement supporting the “forgive whether the offending party repents or not position” so as to decide this clearly for me.

What about Luke 6:27-36? How should we treat those who hurt us? Jesus says (1) love them, (2) do good to them, (3) bless them, and (4) pray for them. Now how can I love someone, do them good, bless them, and pray for them, and not forgive them at the same time? Suppose a man hits me in the face and then he says to me, “I’m glad I did it and I’d do it again if I had the chance.” Clearly, he’s not repentant. What if he steals my coat and says, “I’m glad I did it and I’d do it again if I had the chance.” How should I treat him? Shouldn’t I love him in return offering up the other cheek and offering up my shirt? By the way, isn’t this how God is toward those who are ungrateful and evil? I do not see how it is possible that I can “be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” and not forgive someone.

I think that if we boldly applied this to our own situation we would be more apt to forgive…even those who would rather die than say “I’m sorry.”

Hey Ed,

I do wonder what a post like this would look like on other blogs, and realize that there are probably many who would agree with you. I was actually surprised a little bit how many people responded with a contrary position, and don’t want this to become a “beat up on someone” post. I appreciate your willingness to share thoughts, even if I disagree with them, and am not sure that I’d want you spreading them.

But, I do have a genuine question (that hopefully won’t come off as arrogant) - so what do we do with that?? What difference do you see it making practically, in day to day living, if we do not forgive those who do not repent? It may be the guilt of not being able to forgive people that you mentioned, but I’d love to hear you flush that out yet, and maybe we can all see how, Biblically, we should be dealing with hurt and forgiveness and our own hearts, and see how it relates to God. Again…I don’t mean that to sound condescending and thing it might. It just seems like those who disagree may have said most of what needs to be said, at least now. (As a side note…i’m new, and don’t know how heated these things usually get, so if this is a little ridiculous I’m sorry :) )

But f’real - so what??

[Duane Braswell] I can, and I believe should forgive my brother, 70 x 7 times, with that being basically every time. I am not required to restore the relationship without their repentance. This is a very over simplification, but it is a blog, not a disertation.

I think this allows forgiveness and all the benfits that go with it, like a close relationship with God ( Matt 18) and also allows us to show God’s love to the offender. I can forgive one who has sinned against me with or without their permission or apology. Then the onus of restoring the relationship is upon them. They can deny the offense, I have still forgiven them as commanded. I am following the example of the Lord, in forgiving both the ignorant and unrepentant (Lord forgive them they do not know what they do.) and yet do not need to condone their behavior or restore a relationship that is unhealthy for me.
Two things I see from here.

1. This goes against the Luke 17 passage that talks about your brother trespassing against you. The first thing we are told to do is to rebuke them. It goes on to say “if” that brother repents, then you are to forgive him. We are not the judge of the level of repentance, but the forgiveness comes after the acknowledgment and turning from the trespass. The hallmark forgiveness passage that every good fundamentalist goes to is 1 John 1:9. There, the offender is the one to acknowledge their sin prior to forgiveness.

2. Forgiving the unrepentant only works if one believes that all are forgiven. That would be inconsistent with the nature of Christ’s forgiveness. I addressed Jesus’ words on the cross in an earlier post. I realize I referenced Matthew Henry’s commentary, but others show very similar outcomes.

From another commentary
b. Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do: Jesus did not grant forgiveness to those who crucified Him. He did not say, “I forgive you.” Instead, He prayed to God the Father for their forgiveness.

i. Jesus probably prayed this way for His enemies all through His ministry, but now we hear it from His lips because He has no quiet place to pray.

ii. In this Jesus fulfilled His own command to love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good for those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you (Matthew 5:44).

Good article. Carefully considering Luke 17:3 led me to some of the ideas you presented. Thinking about Luke 17:3 led me to think of forgivness as a triangle. Assuming I was the one sinned against, there is me, the offender and then God. I should not forgive the offended until he repents, yet I can pray to God asking for the bitterness and anger the other party has caused me to be taken away and to somehow see that one’s sinful act as part of His providence. I guess I thought of this since I have come to realize that some people will never repent, or it may take a long time for one to repept. In the mean time, I don’t want to get an ulcer everytime I run across that person’s path at Wal-Mart or the bank.

My dilemma in counseling is when 2 parties both accuse the other of sin and neither will concede the other’s accusation-both are demanding that the other repent! I have yet to see such a situation have a Christ-honoring conclusion.

Forgiveness is a wonderful doctrinal aspect of Salvation. In the NT it is various forms of the word “aphiemi” and appears 140 times. However it appears but 14 times outside the Gospels. The Septuagint uses the word with the idea of to let go or release from.” However, it is used with the idea of forgiveness with such Hebrew words such as “nasa”= to take away; guilt or sin; “salach” = to pardon; “kaphar” = to cover, make atonement. In the NT it is used of forgiveness of financial debt and of sins.

What does all this mean in regard to Salvation?

When we are saved we are united with Christ. As a result we are Justified and Regenerated. Our Justification means God declares us righteous. Our sins are imputed to Christ and His righteousness is imputed to us. It is used in a doctrinal sense with regard to salvation at Romans 4:7; James 5:15; 1John 1:9, 2:12. Forgiveness by God involves the removing or taking away of our sins as a barrier for receiving other blessings from Him and having fellowship with Him. Justification is a declaration insuring no charges against us with regard to our judgment before God. Forgiveness has to do with the taking away of our sins that they are not a practical barrier between us and a Holy God who cannot stand sin. Thus the Christian is involved with four kinds or aspects of forgiveness:

1. Initial Judicial Forgiveness: Received at the moment of belief in Christ. Conditioned on faith alone. This involves all sins committed before Justification.

2. Initial Fellowship Forgiveness : Received at the moment of belief in Christ. Involves removal of estrangement resulting from sins committed before Justification. This enables fellowship with a Holy God (1John 1:7).

3. Continuing Judicial Forgiveness: This occurs at the moment the Christian sins. It is based on the finished substitutionary work of Christ but occurs due to the continuing advocacy of Jesus Christ in Heaven as our High Priest (Heb. 7:20-28). This is unconditional for all those Justified.

4. Continuing Fellowship Forgiveness: Occurs when a Christian confesses sin committed. This involves the ministry of Jesus as High Priest but is conditional based upon our confession of sin (1 John 1:9). It restores our temporal fellowship with a Holy God.

The believer is Justified at the moment of Salvation which absolutely guarantees our salvation. We are never to be judged for our sin and have the very righteousness of Christ. The issue at the Bema Seat of Christ is our fruit and service not sin (2 Cor. 5:1-11).

Forgiveness goes beyond the Justification declaration and gives us fellowship with a Holy God by taking the sin issue out of the way and giving us both Judicial and temporal fellowship forgiveness. The fellowship is conditional based on forgiveness but does not set aside the completeness of our Salvation based on the finished work of Christ.

How does all this apply to sins and human relationships?

We are to turn the other cheek and love our enemies. This means no retaliation and to treat others as we would desire to be treated. This does not take away alienation due to sin. It does not forbid self defense. If we sin we are expected to confess to receive God’s continuing fellowship forgiveness. If we sin against others we are expected to repent (change our mind resulting in turning from the sin) and confess to remove a barrier of fellowship. In some cases the forgiveness may be genuine involving a turning away and restore fellowship, but still disqualify for certain service such as Eldership.

In human relationships there are aspects of forgiveness that are unconditional and then some that are conditional. We must forgive based on God having already forgiving us. This is Grace. However, in order for fellowship to be restored with God and with us there is the necessity of confession of wrong and this may also involve repentance.