Concord NH Rape Case Victim Goes Public
NH church at center of 1997 teen rape; police investigate whether leaders knew about assault “I was completely humiliated,” Anderson said, her voice quavering at the memory. “I hoped it was a nightmare I’d wake up from, and it wouldn’t be true anymore.” Concord Detective Chris DeAngelis learned of her case through a Facebook page titled “Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Cult Survivors.” Earlier post here
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No, fundamentalist churches have not dealt properly with the issue of sexual abuse. I am convinced that our churches are full of victims who are suffering from guilt, anger, fear, and more. Molestation and abuse are far more widespread than most realize. Twenty years ago, I heard a woman present a workshop on the subject at an AACS teachers’ convention. She stated that something like 30-40% of women have experienced some level of sexual abuse. As she talked about recognizing the symptoms of abuse in students, women around the room began to cry softly. The following day, the lady who taught the workshop said that a large number of the women present in her session the previous day had come to her telling their own story of abuse. I have been amazed at the number of women and girls I have personally been able to counsel that have experienced this horrendous crime.
Women and girls often feel they have no one they can go to that they can trust. An abused person loses all trust and confidence in others and it is this fear that will keep them from admitting their problem or even telling the truth about what occurred. This is especially true if they have seen other situations handled in a less than loving, caring way.
I believe this is the key to the Concord situation. I have no doubt Pastor Phelps and Tina Anderson are telling the truth about what transpired. They simply see things from a different perspective. From an outside observer who is limited to what has been said in print and limited interviews, it does not appear that Tina ever received the true Scriptural help and love she needed to deal with this situation. Where was her pastor, pastor’s wife, SS teacher when she needed them most? What did they do to help her overcome the guilt (which she says has plagued her all through the years), the fear, the anger, and to learn from a Scriptural perspective how to overcome what she had experienced? Perhaps they were there, but nothing has been said to this point from either side to give any indication that anything was done. I would have like to have heard Pastor Phelps make some comment expressing his concern for Tina, his sorrow for the pain she has gone through…something to show the heart of a pastor who truly cares. Did any one reach out to help Mrs. Willis or her children?
There are not many people in this world today, nor in our churches, who truly care and who show it. Thus, those who have suffered abuse just live with the pain and wear a mask to hide it. Those children who are the loners, the ones who are “different”, the adults who can’t seem to get along with anyone, who aren’t trusting, who always seem to be a problem…perhaps they have a deeper problem that needs to be dealt with and they need a loving, caring Christian sister or brother to come alongside and help them.
Women and girls often feel they have no one they can go to that they can trust. An abused person loses all trust and confidence in others and it is this fear that will keep them from admitting their problem or even telling the truth about what occurred. This is especially true if they have seen other situations handled in a less than loving, caring way.
I believe this is the key to the Concord situation. I have no doubt Pastor Phelps and Tina Anderson are telling the truth about what transpired. They simply see things from a different perspective. From an outside observer who is limited to what has been said in print and limited interviews, it does not appear that Tina ever received the true Scriptural help and love she needed to deal with this situation. Where was her pastor, pastor’s wife, SS teacher when she needed them most? What did they do to help her overcome the guilt (which she says has plagued her all through the years), the fear, the anger, and to learn from a Scriptural perspective how to overcome what she had experienced? Perhaps they were there, but nothing has been said to this point from either side to give any indication that anything was done. I would have like to have heard Pastor Phelps make some comment expressing his concern for Tina, his sorrow for the pain she has gone through…something to show the heart of a pastor who truly cares. Did any one reach out to help Mrs. Willis or her children?
There are not many people in this world today, nor in our churches, who truly care and who show it. Thus, those who have suffered abuse just live with the pain and wear a mask to hide it. Those children who are the loners, the ones who are “different”, the adults who can’t seem to get along with anyone, who aren’t trusting, who always seem to be a problem…perhaps they have a deeper problem that needs to be dealt with and they need a loving, caring Christian sister or brother to come alongside and help them.
[Matthew Richards] I have a novel idea. Why don’t we just email Chuck Phelps with our questions? I know everyone thinks they are the MONK of this investigation but it might help to get it straight from the horses’ mouth. He may or may not respond but at least you would have made the attempt to get the story from him. Go to the Colonial Hills Baptist Church of Indianapolis website and shoot him a message or just pick up the phone and call. I think this will be better than just the constant back and forth over the basic reports. ……
Matthew Richards
Amen, Matthew! May the Lord protect us all from those who know everything and have all the answers! Electronic gossip is still gossip.
Learn from the situation. Think of what you would do in the situation. Ask God for wisdom in case you ever face a similar situation, and pray for one another, because we know that these sinful situations will happen in our own churches if we continue in the ministry long enough. May God find a way to glorify Himself through the outcome of this mess!
Dan Pelletier Hamilton Square Baptist Church - San Francisco Acts 20:24 - Touch the Future with Truth from the Past
[Mike Durning]Very tired now. I now rescind my objection to Bob T’s comment and beg someone to put us all out of our misery here on this thread.[Bob T.] It is long past the time for SI to shut down this thread and not allow anymore conjecture on this. Please!Bob, I kind of agree, and kind of disagree.
The facts of this matter will not be known with certainty to any of us until Heaven. Even after the criminal and civil courts have finished their work, we still won’t know. So, if we’re going to discuss how these things should have been handled, we’re going to have to do it based on a series of conjectures (as in “If this is what happened, they should have done this rather than that.”).
I think we should stop accusing and judging motives based on inadequate information. But I think the speculation process helps us plan what we will do when we are confronted with this kind of situation in our church — particularly when linked to Scriptural reflections on the various scenarios we imagine may have been going on.
[Louise Dan] I remember Dr. Fremont’s famous saying that if the student hasn’t learned, the teacher hasn’t taught. Even if this is simply the different perceptions from two different perspectives, the authority figure has the bigger responsibility. If they genuinely were attempting to communicate support and NOT a 15 yr olds responsibility for her own rape, the pupil didn’t learn this message. The authority figure, even in this scenario, bears responsibility.
Still, I think every person involved in any kind of ministry (including the aforementioned Dr. Fremont, for whom I had the greatest respect) has had the experience of going to great lengths to try to explain an issue or doctrine, and what comes out of his/her mouth is not necessarily what goes into the hearer’s ear.
Dear friends,
I have had contact with dear Christian brothers from around America on this matter today, and I am troubled. The Scriptures call upon us to avoid calling into question the motives or character of people and put the best possible interpretation on matters until the evidence requires otherwise.
This situation has hit me hard, because I myself have experienced situations where I handled everything to the best of my ability and knowledge at the time, was attacked later for how I handled it, and could not defend myself because of the need for confidentiality of counseling. One of those times, I had been just plain wrong, but was too ignorant to know it at the time.
I think there have been some sensitive posts which correctly identified the fact that people can be very bitter over handling of events long after when there was no mishandling. And memories can be distorted over time. I don’t know that any of these is the case in this matter, but nobody can know except the Lord and the principles involved.
I believe we have now exhausted any profitable discussion that would help us in our own ministries. The speculation is running rampant, and is now harmful and in some cases, sinful.
Some are letting their own experiences (positive or negative) with Fundamentalist ministries color their thinking on this matter. Such is irrelevant.
Let us cease this, and wait for the truth to come out in due course, whether that is before the civil courts, the criminal courts, or before the ultimate court, the throne of our Lord.
I have had contact with dear Christian brothers from around America on this matter today, and I am troubled. The Scriptures call upon us to avoid calling into question the motives or character of people and put the best possible interpretation on matters until the evidence requires otherwise.
This situation has hit me hard, because I myself have experienced situations where I handled everything to the best of my ability and knowledge at the time, was attacked later for how I handled it, and could not defend myself because of the need for confidentiality of counseling. One of those times, I had been just plain wrong, but was too ignorant to know it at the time.
I think there have been some sensitive posts which correctly identified the fact that people can be very bitter over handling of events long after when there was no mishandling. And memories can be distorted over time. I don’t know that any of these is the case in this matter, but nobody can know except the Lord and the principles involved.
I believe we have now exhausted any profitable discussion that would help us in our own ministries. The speculation is running rampant, and is now harmful and in some cases, sinful.
Some are letting their own experiences (positive or negative) with Fundamentalist ministries color their thinking on this matter. Such is irrelevant.
Let us cease this, and wait for the truth to come out in due course, whether that is before the civil courts, the criminal courts, or before the ultimate court, the throne of our Lord.
Closed temporarily
I think Mike’s last post is a good place to take a break.
I appreciate the fact that many who have posted have made obvious efforts to be fair—with varying degrees of success, but you have to appreciate a good try! A huge part of the quandary is that we are dealing with two believers and where there is conflict in the accounts it is impossible to accept the account of one without at least vaguely insulting the other. We’d all like the benefit of the doubt in any situation, but how do you simultaneously give the benefit of the doubt to two parties with incompatible versions of events?
One way is to say “Well, maybe they’re all saying it as they remember it.” Another is to just not make judgments one way or the other regarding who is right. Another is to not talk at all.
So we’ll give all involved the benefit of the doubt for a little while.
I think Mike’s last post is a good place to take a break.
I appreciate the fact that many who have posted have made obvious efforts to be fair—with varying degrees of success, but you have to appreciate a good try! A huge part of the quandary is that we are dealing with two believers and where there is conflict in the accounts it is impossible to accept the account of one without at least vaguely insulting the other. We’d all like the benefit of the doubt in any situation, but how do you simultaneously give the benefit of the doubt to two parties with incompatible versions of events?
One way is to say “Well, maybe they’re all saying it as they remember it.” Another is to just not make judgments one way or the other regarding who is right. Another is to not talk at all.
So we’ll give all involved the benefit of the doubt for a little while.
Views expressed are always my own and not my employer's, my church's, my family's, my neighbors', or my pets'. The house plants have authorized me to speak for them, however, and they always agree with me.
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