By Doug Brown on
Family Integrated Church
Church and Ministry
Family

Reprinted with permission from Faith Pulpit (Jan-Mar, 2012)

The Family Integrated Church Movement (FICM) is having a growing impact within fundamental Baptist churches. Since the mid-1990s an increasing number of families within fundamental churches have gravitated toward the family-integrated approach. In addition, families entrenched in the movement have been drawn to fundamental churches because of their emphasis on Biblical preaching and conservatism. At first glance the influence of the FICM might seem entirely beneficial for traditional churches, but unfortunately not all of the impact has been positive. The FICM mindset can divide churches.

Understanding the FICM

The FICM is comprised of evangelical churches, pastors, and laymen who share a distinct philosophical approach toward the family and church. Advocates of family-integrated churches (FIC) believe that families should always worship and fellowship together in age-integrated (i.e., multigenerational) services and activities. Conversely they insist that virtually all age-segregated ministries and activities at church, such as Sunday School or youth ministries, are unequivocally unbiblical. Also, they often speak of the father as the conduit of spirtual growth in the family.

The FICM is not a denomination but rather a loose association of churches and organizations represented by a variety of denominational perspectives. Some key leaders are the following:

  • Scott Brown, director of the National Center for Family-Integrated Churches (NCFIC)1
  • Doug Phillips, president of Vision Forum Ministries2
  • Voddie Baucham Jr., professor, author, and pastor of Grace Family Baptist Church near Houston, Texas3
  • Eric Wallace, president of the Institute for Uniting Church and Home (IUCAH).4

The NCFIC, founded in 2001, is the flagship organization for the FICM and has a national network of more than 800 churches. It should be no surprise that the FICM has close ties to some currents of the homeschooling movement. While homeschooling is not essential to the FICM, the vast majority of families in FIC homeschool their children.5

The central concern of the FICM

God has established three institutions to bring order to creation and fulfill His purposes: the family, the state, and the church. Scripture delineates specific responsibilities for each institution, and ideally the relationship between the family, state, and church should be harmonious and complementary, each institution fulfilling its God-given role within its distinct jurisdiction. According to those in the FICM, the fundamental problem within evangelical churches is the skewed relationship of the family and church.6 Leaders of the FICM argue that churches have usurped the responsibility and role of families and consequently enabled families (and especially fathers) to abdicate and abandon their God-given responsibility to train their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

According to the FICM, this distortion and blurring of jurisdictions have led to an alarming crisis within the American church. Youth are abandoning the church and Christianity at incredible rates. Studies suggest that as many as 40% and up to 88% of today’s young people are leaving evangelical churches once they leave the home.7 In addition, only about 10% of churched teens have a Biblical worldview.8 These statistics are shocking and prove that something is clearly wrong. Those within the FICM believe the root of the problem rests in the current way churches relate to families.

Adherents of family integration identify the culture of age segregation within church ministry as the key culprit. They consider ministries that separate families by age (or for any other reason) as unbiblical and a form of “practical apostasy.”9 These ministries include Sunday School; youth ministry; children’s church; children’s clubs (like Awana and Kids4Truth); VBS; youth camps; college, singles, and senior ministries; and often nurseries.

Scott Brown contends that age segregation is inherently wrong for several reasons.10 First, using the Regulative Principle and historical-grammatical hermeneutics, he argues that age segregation is not found in Scripture and is therefore unwarranted and indefensible. At the same time, he points to examples in Scripture where families worshipped together as the normal pattern. Second, he asserts that the very concept of age-segregated training is the product of humanistic philosophers, educators, and sociologists and is therefore corrupt. Consequently, the church has inadvertently replaced Biblical truth and methodology with pagan, non-Christian philosophies and practices. Third, Brown suggests that age-segregated ministries are wrong because they have failed to produce lasting fruit and are not working.

Distinctives of the FICM

The leaders of the FICM see themselves as part of a reformation movement within the church similar to the Protestant Reformation. As Voddie Baucham states, “This is a reformation, a paradigm shift… . We are not talking about a new program; we are talking about a complete overhaul of the philosophy that is accepted in our churches, colleges, seminaries, and homes as the only way to do it.”11 They describe the church as the “family of families” to explain the complementary relationship between the church and family, that is, the church should acknowledge the authority and jurisdiction of families within the church.

So what do family-integrated churches look like?12 First and foremost, they worship together as families. Virtually all services and activities are intergenerational. Second, there is conversely an absence of age-segregated ministries. Baucham summarizes, “The family-integrated church movement is easily distinguishable in its insistence on integration as an ecclesiological principle… . There is no systematic age segregation in the family-integrated church!”13 Third, “the family is the evangelism and discipleship arm of the family-integrated church.”14 Advocates in the FICM lay the responsibility of making disciples on the shoulders of parents, and primarily fathers, based upon the Bible’s clear teaching on childrearing (Deut. 6:1–9; Eph. 6:1–4). Fathers are expected to lead their families in worship and catechism.15 As a result, church takes a secondary role in the discipleship process, primarily training and equipping fathers and mothers to do the work of the ministry. Intergenerational teaching (when the older teach the younger, e.g., Titus 2:3, 4) takes place not through church programs but rather through informal relationships. Their youth ministry philosophy could be summarized in Malachi 4:6a, “And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers.”16 Families are expected to reach their own children with the gospel and reach the lost outside the church through simple obedience to the Great Commission and hospitality.17 Fourth, family-integrated churches place an emphasis on education as a key component of discipleship. This involves not only family catechism but also homeschooling for most.

Other common characteristics in family-integrated churches include an emphasis on strong marriages, male headship and Biblical patriarchy, elder rule ecclesiology, courting, and the “quiverfull” approach to family planning. While it would be wrong to see the FICM as monolithic, the majority of leaders fall into either the Presbyterian/Reformed or Baptist wings of the Reformed tradition. Most see themselves as carrying the baton of the Puritans in matters related to the family and church.

Evaluating the FICM

How should one evaluate the FICM? I find several areas of agreement. First, those in the FICM have a high view of Scripture and correctly see it as the sole authority for doctrine and practice in the church. Second, they place a high value on expository preaching. Third, proponents should also be commended for staying in the church. Their ecclesiology reflects the New Testament more closely than other family movements such as some cell churches and home churches who have virtually abandoned a full ecclesiology. Fourth, those concerned with worldliness in the church will find an affinity with FIC authors.

Finally, I also believe FIC proponents are essentially correct in identifying the breakdown of the family as the fundamental problem in why youth are deserting the church. Those who work with youth need to acknowledge that parents have the greatest spiritual impact.18 So the FICM’s emphasis on parental responsibility in the spiritual training of their own children is welcome and needed. I have personally benefited from some of their writings on family worship.19

I find, however, several areas of disagreement with the FICM.20 The seminal problem with the FICM is the tendency for family concerns to override church ministry. For example, their inflexible position toward age-segregated ministries is wrong for a number of reasons. First, it is wrong hermeneutically. FIC advocates protest vigorously that since there are no explicit Biblical directives or examples for age-segregated programs, they are unbiblical. However, this kind of hermeneutical approach is flawed. Using this reasoning, things like church buildings, pews, musical instruments, and technological advancements, along with church officers such as clerks and treasurers, would have to be deemed unbiblical as well. FIC adherents press the Regulative Principle too far. This Reformation principle was intended to regulate corporate worship at Sunday services, not the outworking of the Great Commission in other activities.21

Second, it is wrong theologically. The mandate to “make disciples” is given to the church (Matt. 28:19, 20). This mandate is to reach all people, regardless of their ethnicity, gender, age, or family status. The church is not required to reach individuals through their families. Although this normally may be the case, it certainly is not mandated. In fact, Jesus announced that He came to bring division to families, which is often the practical effect of the gospel (Matt. 10:34–36; Luke 12:51–53). Technically, churches are not comprised of families; they are comprised of believing individuals (at least in Baptist polity). In this sense, the church’s authority to disciple individuals both includes families and transcends families. The Bible gives both examples and instructions showing how God’s grace can triumph in less-than-ideal family situations (e.g., Acts 16:14, 15, 40; 1 Cor. 7:14; 2 Tim. 1:5; 3:15; 1 Pet. 3:1, 2).

Further, in Ephesians 4:7–16, we see a Biblical rationale for teaching ministries in the church. Paul wrote that God gifted the church with leaders, such as pastors and teachers, to equip the saints to accomplish the work of the ministry (4:11, 12). This work is essentially discipleship, and the heart of discipleship is teaching. So pastors are to train and equip the saints to teach. This is a principled, Biblical argument for qualified men and women to teach the body of Christ. Christian education programs are simply venues to accomplish Biblical discipleship.

Third, inflexible insistence on family integration is wrong practically. In my opinion, the leaders of the FICM have failed to prove that age-segregated ministries are the cause of the problem. Instead, the family integration philosophy has actually generated divisions in traditional (nonintegrated) churches rather than unity. Families involved in the FICM tend to make their convictions a test of fellowship, choosing to disassociate with believers in their own church who do not share FIC values. Both Scott Brown and Voddie Baucham acknowledge this unfortunate phenomenon in their writings and sermons. In addition, the emphasis on family discipleship within the FIC has the potential for alienating or neglecting those outside of nuclear families (e.g., singles and broken families).

In conclusion, the emphasis in the FICM on parental responsibility and spiritual discipleship in the home is welcome and needed. Instead of uniting the church and home, however, the FIC philosophy often leads to division in the church. By potentially elevating the family above the church, the FICM tends to diminish the proper role and authority of the church.22

(The text of this article, as well as a Theology of the Family outline, are currently available at the Faith Pulpit website.)

Notes

1 The NCFIC website (ncfic.org) has numerous articles and resources that articulate the vision for family-integrated churches. Particularly noteworthy is the NCFIC Confession and the documentary Divided, The Movie.

2 Vision Forum Ministries (visionforumministries.org) provides resources on many issues related to the family, such as home education, civil and legal issues, and family integration. Especially informative for the FICM is its statement on Biblical Patriarchy.

3 Baucham is probably the most mainstream spokesman for the FICM. In addition to his books, his church website and blog have a wealth of information about the FICM (gracefamilybaptist.net).

4 Wallace promotes more of a mediating position between what he calls the Traditional Ministry (with multiple programs) and the Over-Corrective Designs (where the church focuses on nuclear families alone). He calls it the Household Relationship Design (unitingchurchandhome.org).

5 J. Mark Fox, Family-Integrated Church: Healthy Families, Healthy Church (USA: Xulon Press, 2006), 43, 44.

6 The majority within the FICM would also advocate that the relationship between the family and state is askew as well. Most are strong advocates for homeschooling and believe the state has no right to educate youth.

7 Ken Ham and Britt Beemer, Already Gone: Why Your Kids Will Quit Church and What You Can Do to Stop It (Green Forest, AR: Master Books, 2009), 19–36; Scott T. Brown, A Weed in the Church: How a Culture of Age Segregation Is Destroying the Younger Generation, Fragmenting the Family, and Dividing the Church (Wake Forest: National Center for Family Integrated Churches, 2010), 37, 38.

8 Voddie Baucham Jr., Family Driven Faith: Doing What It Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters Who Walk with God (Wheaton: Crossway, 2007), 176, 184.

9 Brown, A Weed in the Church, 37.

10 Brown, A Weed in the Church, 71–130. See also Baucham, Family Driven Faith, 176–85.

11 Baucham, Family Driven Faith, 197, 204.

12 Baucham, Family Driven Faith, 195–203; Brown, A Weed in the Church, 141–94.

13 Baucham, Family Driven Faith, 196, 97.

14 Baucham, Family Driven Faith, 197.

15 This is developed in Baucham’s newest book, Family Shepherds: Calling and Equipping Men to Lead Their Homes (Wheaton: Crossway, 2011).

16 See Paul Renfro’s contributions in T. P. Jones, ed., Perspectives on Family Ministry: Three Views (Nashville: Broadman and Holman, 2009).

17 Brown, A Weed in the Church, 215–19.

18 I made this same argument in my January 2000 Faith Pulpit article, “Family-Based Youth Ministry.”

19 Their views on patriarchy, however, are a distortion of Biblical complementarianism.

20 For critical reviews of the FICM, see A. J. Köstenberger and D. W. Jones, God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation. 2nd ed. (Wheaton: Crossway, 2010), 260-67; J. Webb, “The Family-Integrated Church Movement: An Exploration in Ecclesiology” (MAR Thesis, Reformed Theological Seminary, 2009).

21 See Terrry Johnson, “What Does the Regulative Principle Require of Church Members” 9Marks eJournal 8, no. 3 (May/June 2011): 32–34 (accessed February 21, 2012). Ironically, Scott Brown quotes Mark Dever’s definition of the Regulative Principle in making his point about age-segregated programs (A Weed in the Church, 83), yet Dever’s 9Marks eJournal for Jan/Feb 2012 is dedicated to the subject of the Sunday School (accessed February 13, 2012). Here’s the point: not everyone who subscribes to the Regulative Principle would agree with Brown’s application of it to age-segregation.

22 So also Köstenberger, God, Marriage, and Family, 259.

Discussion

Tue, 03/27/12
Thanks, Doug, for this fine assessment.

Our church has both a family integrated class and traditional Sunday School. They both have their advantages. For example, children on the autism spectrum or with other special needs often fare better in a family integrated class.

Like homeschooling (and we home schooled), there are those who view it as a choice (as we did), but there are those who condemn others who make another choice (as we did not). Whatever happened to freedom and respect for those who choose differently?

"The Midrash Detective"

Tue, 03/27/12
Isn’t this movement largely a result of Gothardism, even though it’s modern proponents would likely deny Gothard was the modern “father” of this movement?

We have some of these people who attend our church on Sunday mornings for the preaching service only, but they refuse to become members, they never come on Wednesday nights, and generally don’t particpate in any other way in the life of the church.

Tue, 03/27/12
Great article. I am in full agreement with the author. I have one family that practices some of the principles of the FIC. Fortunately, they attend all the services including SS, and they fully participate in the musical ministry of our church. They have a great attittude. We are glad to work with them.

Pastor Mike Harding

Tue, 03/27/12
[npaul] Isn’t this movement largely a result of Gothardism, even though it’s modern proponents would likely deny Gothard was the modern “father” of this movement?
I think there are some separate routes that have landed folks in similar places in their thinking. I’m pretty sure Voddie Baucham and the NCIS folks have little in common with “Gothardism” — though I suppose it depends partly on what you mean by the term. Brown, Baucham etc. are not disciples of Gothard.

Views expressed are always my own and not my employer's, my church's, my family's, my neighbors', or my pets'. The house plants have authorized me to speak for them, however, and they always agree with me.

Tue, 03/27/12
1. For the last twenty or so years, singles and childless couples have dominated the membership of Hamilton Square Baptist. These folks did not “grow up” in HSBC or even in San Francisco. (E.g. I was born in San Francisco. But I grew up and still live in a southern suburb. Growing up, my family belonged to and was active in the local United Presbyterian Church. I was not saved until I moved to Indiana for a summer. Coming home in August, I joined HSBC.) Our discipleship ministry would fall apart if we relied on “fathers and mothers” to do the training. Because for amny years, there weren’t any.

2. Independent Baptist Church (Evangelical Christian-Baptist) is a multi generational church. It was organized twenty years ago by Russian speaking EC-B immigrants to Sacramento. IBC is four generations deep (as religious refugees, the folks immigrated by families from the babes in arms to the grandparents.) Sunday services are all ages affairs. However, on Friday nights, the adults meet for a prayer meeting and the children have the age appropriate Bible classes. The singles meet on Saturday nights for their Bible class.

Hoping to shed more light than heat..

Tue, 03/27/12
It is a mistake to conclude that because the word ‘family’ is used to describe the dynamic of FICs, that this means singles, childless, widows, etc… are not embraced and ministered to in a FIC.

I agree that some churches (and not just FICs) take the role of the father too far and deny the children and wives individual liberty before God, but overall, the premise is that the church isn’t to exclude ANYONE. However, this often happens in segregated ministries where one group of people- singles, elderly, childless- never meet up with anyone outside of their demographic. The point of FICs is to facilitate and encourage generational fellowship, which includes all ages and marital statuses. To continue to speak as if a FIC somehow excludes singles or childless is arguing a point that has never been made.

The comparison to Gothard is IMO a backhanded way of dismissing and disparaging the idea without having to deal with the issues at hand.

The FIC movement is reactionary- I’ll grant that. But a reaction to what? I believe that the hyper-segregation that takes place in many, if not most, churches, IS harmful. Parents who want their children with them in church are treated like they’re stupid, over-protective, and blahblahblah. On the other hand, there are parents who often talk about their kids in terms of how often and for how long they can ‘get rid’ of them- at church and at school, and it’s obvious they are only pretending to be joking. This is not only acceptable, it’s expected and considered normal. I think it is an abomination. The family unit is under attack, and churches (generally) aren’t doing very much to edify and admonish parents or encourage children to turn their hearts toward their parents. I see that in the way people talk about sending kids to Christian college to get grounded in the Word- they are 18 years old- why aren’t they grounded YET? Apparently it is someone else’s job to teach and train children- SS teachers, the pastor, the Christian school teachers, and then Bible college professors. By all appearances, the role of parents is to foot the bill.

What about the fact that there is no indication in Scripture that people are taught by being segregated into several demographics? We see gender segregation to a degree, and that’s the extent of that. Is this truly an argument from silence? I don’t think so. The Bible is NOT silent about the family- husbands, wives, fathers, children… are given many directives in Scripture, and we have plenty of examples and patterns of family life. That is NOT the same as padded pews and hymnbooks and air conditioning.

Are FICs they going too far the other way? It’s possible, but that has to be judged on a church-by-church basis, in the same way that IFB churches are not all the same in faith and practice.

Scenescape Media

Tue, 03/27/12
I think it’s generally agreed on the non-FIC side of things that extreme age segregation is unhealthy. But the official teaching of FIC leaders does not seem to recognize that extreme non-segregation isn’t healthy either. So there are really three basic views here

(1) Never separate into age groups (FIC)

(2) Always (or nearly always) separate into age groups (I’m not sure who believes or does this but I accept that it exists)

(3) Use togetherness and separateness prudently

The FIC POV does not accept that #3 exists or is possible, but routinely lumps church practices into two headings: always-together and unbiblical.

So that’s the real problem. I have no problem whatsoever with a family or congregation that says “We think always together is the best approach.” This is fundamentally different from saying “Ever age grouping at all is unbiblical.” The latter is what FIC actually teaches.

(The relative silence of Scripture on the subject of forming groups by age is not a strong argument… just as its silence is not a strong argument for anything else. And, as I pointed out in Why Churches Should Have ‘Kid Times,’ there is evidence that groups within the church do have special needs that require special attention.)

As for who’s job it is… the NT is clear that discipleship is indeed the responsibility of the church. This doesn’t erase the parent’s role, but when you look at passages about discipleship and growth in the faith, the vast majority of them assume or directly attribute this to the ministry of the body. Eph.4:11-16 is one example. (See also Matt. 28:19-20, Rom. 15:14, Col. 3:16, Heb.10:24-25)

Family under attack… no doubt about that. The problem is that the FIC point of view assumes a particular cause and particular solution and its case for that assumption is pretty weak (mostly because it assumes rather than supports that analysis… where it does support, it relies heavily on correlation=causation fallacy). My own belief is that the attack on the family is the result of changing beliefs and values in western culture and not a particular Christian Ed. model. If that’s the case, changing the model will not fix anything. Only correcting the beliefs and values will lead to solutions.

I keep going back to my own experience: four generations (and counting) of strong Christian families discipled in “age segregated” churches. I’ve yet to hear an FIC adherent explain how that is possible in their analysis. Their writings basically insist that it is not possible. But in the circles I grew up in, it’s not only possible; it’s routine.

Views expressed are always my own and not my employer's, my church's, my family's, my neighbors', or my pets'. The house plants have authorized me to speak for them, however, and they always agree with me.

Tue, 03/27/12
I agree that the church’s role is to equip the saints- but equip them for what? One of the qualifications of church leadership is that they have an orderly home life. The church/family relationship is a circle, not a fork in the road. The church equips the parents to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, thus rendering them (parents and children) fit for the ministry.

But at no point does the church override parental authority unless a parent is violating Scripture. I understand that some parents do absolutely nothing with regards to teaching and training their children- but is the church supposed to step in and take over? Or hold those parents accountable for their lack of obedience to the Word? Christian parents who are not grounding children in the faith are disobedient and in rebellion against God. Get that part straight and then consider age-segregation.

I’m still waiting for some real evidence that ‘corporate worship’ really means ‘a unified body of individuals that are over 18’. Far too much of what we do in church guided by practical considerations instead of Biblical ones. “We have to have SS Classes” so what we end up with is Sunday Schools guided mostly by women, people teaching classes who have the spiritual maturity of coleslaw, and regenerate children being taught right along with unregenerate children, being told to ‘ask Jesus to come into your heart’ by talking cucumbers, and singing “If You’re Happy and You Know It”. Then they turn 18 and think church is a joke. In the words of this generation- “Duh”.

Edited to add: That’s not fair, Aaron. You edited your post while I was writing mine! :)

Yes, strong families are possible in age-segregated churches. I don’t doubt that. But was it the church that accomplished this, or spiritually mature parents brought up by spiritually mature parents? There’s no doubt in my mind that the last few decades have seen a hyper-emphasis on age-segregated fluffball children’s and youth ministries. It doesn’t surprise me to see a strong reaction to this, and a pendulum that has swung all the way to the opposite pole.

Does the FIC movement divide churches? Probably- but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. There are parents who want to be part of a church that helps them with the responsibility of teaching and training children. If they can’t find it in a traditionally organized church, then they may see a FIC as very attractive- whose fault is that?

Scenescape Media

Tue, 03/27/12
I find, however, several areas of disagreement with the FICM.20 The seminal problem with the FICM is the tendency for family concerns to override church ministry. For example, their inflexible position toward age-segregated ministries is wrong for a number of reasons. First, it is wrong hermeneutically. FIC advocates protest vigorously that since there are no explicit Biblical directives or examples for age-segregated programs, they are unbiblical. However, this kind of hermeneutical approach is flawed. Using this reasoning, things like church buildings, pews, musical instruments, and technological advancements, along with church officers such as clerks and treasurers, would have to be deemed unbiblical as well.

Doug, reasoning is an amazing thing. I see what you are saying about FICM hermeneutic; is there a New Testament example of age segregaration within the local church ? This may have gotten lost in the points that you make and address.

Thank you for your time to answer this quick question.

Bob Rogish

Tue, 03/27/12
I have been (and continue to be) on a journey Spiritually concerning this issue. I’ll not go into that other than to say that I grew up in churches that were “age-segregated”, and have come to believe that most of the programs and practices that we consider to be “traditional” in this realm are in fact unbiblical, anti-biblical, — and as such — harmful to families, churches, and the culture at large.

It burdens my spirit to see such articles coming from fundamental Baptist sources, as one of those “fundamentals” most assuredly is the authority and sufficiency of Scripture in all matters of life and practice. This article and others like it that I have seen, are in my opinion, very shaky hermeneutically and offer no solid Biblical evidence for the age-segregated model.

For instance, Dr. Brown takes exception to using the Regulative Principle in defense of an argument from silence (a defensible position), but does not attempt to answer the argument from Scripture that he himself acknowledged (“…At the same time, he points to examples in Scripture where families worshiped together as the normal pattern”). We cling to many practices/beliefs that have no direct command/prohibition in Scripture, but which we recognize as Biblically correct or needful because of the principles, patterns, precepts and overall testimony of the Word.

He states that the “make disciples” mandate is to reach all people, regardless of their ethnicity, gender, age, or family status. Somehow he assumes that the FICM is prohibitive to this! Promoting corporate worship as a single unified group, rather than split up into multiple classes speaks of inclusion, not exclusion!

He goes on: “The church is not required to reach individuals through their families”, yet the FIC model reaches all individuals at the same time with the same message, clearly promoting rather than discouraging unity. This also assumes facts not in evidence; namely, that the FICM has no means of discipling anyone outside of the complete family unit. This is an area of misunderstanding and controversy that has been dealt with at length by prominent FIC pastors/leaders.

Dr. Brown views Eph. 4:7-16 as a biblical argument for age-segregated ministry. In my view, there are some serious logical loopholes and assumptions happening in this argument. He basically equates the “work of the ministry” with teaching alone. This probably comes as a great surprise to some that thought their works of service, helps, hospitality, etc. were actually part of the ministry! He also evidently assumes that this teaching needs to include “Christian education programs”. He gives no evidence for how these education programs are “Biblical” other than the fact that they involve teaching. In the FIC model, the pastor(s) and teachers instruct the congregation in doctrine, etc. and expect the congregants to then teach and instruct their own families, fellow congregants, and neighbors in a relational rather than classroom method. Does this not fit perfectly Dr Brown’s stated goal of “pastors…train and equip the saints to teach”? Who is being left out in this model?

In his practical argument, he asserts that the FICM has not proven that age segregation is the cause of the mass exodus of the next generation from the faith. Perhaps I might ask for proof that age segregation is not the cause!

Dr. Brown laments the fact that this issue in some churches is causing division. While I (and I believe most of the FIC leaders) would agree that this issue should not be an issue of dissociation, one might ask — is it ever necessary for there to be division or purification? Is it possible that those entrenched in the “age-segregated” mindset might have any part in this division (after all it takes two varying opinions to cause division)?

I personally believe from my study on this issue that there is a much stronger Biblical case for the FIC model than the age-segregated model. Articles from this side of the issue seem to be very reactionary, while in my experience, the arguments from the other side seem to have arisen out of a close examination of Scripture and a genuine desire to reform areas which have been revealed to have been in error. I believe there is a strong resistance to change from the age-segregated model, not so much because of the Biblical evidence, but because of human factors (breaking with “tradition”, phasing out paid positions, open evidence of poor child training, reluctance of parents to bear more responsibility, etc).

It seems clear to me that the overriding focus in this issue should be the Biblical evidence for or against these competing methodologies, and that Christians everywhere should submit to their consciences as they are informed by the Word of God. As such, I believe that the result of such action will invariably be a truer and closer unity.

Tue, 03/27/12
What was Hamilton Square Baptist Church supposed to do from the late ’50s to the early ’90s? We didn’t have enough families to be our core. We did have older/younger singles and empty nesters.

Hoping to shed more light than heat..

Tue, 03/27/12
[Rob Fall] What was Hamilton Square Baptist Church supposed to do from the late ’50s to the early ’90s? We didn’t have enough families to be our core. We did have older/younger singles and empty nesters.
Rob,

This type of concern tends to come up often (situations w/singles, divorced, etc). The simple answer for me is that, because the underlying principle (based upon the consistent pattern of Scripture) is a unified gathering for corporate worship, the overall family status of any congregation is of only secondary significance. Simply follow the pattern and precept in the Bible of the entire congregation worshiping together.

No “movement” is perfect, and the Family Integrated Church Movement is no different. I think the name tends to give pre-conceived notions that it is only for “complete” families. This is an unfortunate misnomer. One could simply call it the “Integrated Church Movement”, and that might give a more accurate description. Or perhaps you could call it a “Inter-generational Church Movement”. The emphasis in the movement is not so much on “families” per se (although the movement has a lot to say about the family and our church culture), but on worshiping together rather than in peer groups.

I should also say that this does not preclude the principle of discipleship among the members of the congregation. However, this “teaching” would not take place in the cultural normative model (teaching=classroom), but in a relational (one-on-one) type of model. Titus 2 discipleship is viewed as relational, personal, realized by older men discipling younger men & older women discipling younger women (inter-generational), and would typically not be seen as including children (the older women are to be teaching the younger to “love their own husbands”, be “love their children”, etc — strongly implies older adults teaching younger adults).

Hopefully this helps.

Tue, 03/27/12
Karl,

Without even getting into all of the doctrinal aberrations common in the FIC movement, the whole notion of an unsegregated 1st century church is simply uninformed. The early church gatherings modeled earlier synagogue meetings, which were definitely segregated. Women sat on one side with girls (or all the children) while men sat on the other side (sometimes with the boys). Furthermore, Jewish boys went to the rabbi during the week for religious training, a practice Paul seems to have modeled with Timothy. There was absolutely segregation in the synagogue on which the early church was modeled. Any of the NT passages promoted by the FIC can support the model I have just described, which was a gender and age segregated congregation that was most certainly not patriarchal in structure.

Why is it that my voice always seems to be loudest when I am saying the dumbest things?

Tue, 03/27/12
[Chip Van Emmerik]

Without even getting into all of the doctrinal aberrations common in the FIC movement, the whole notion of an unsegregated 1st century church is simply uninformed. The early church gatherings modeled earlier synagogue meetings, which were definitely segregated. Women sat on one side with girls (or all the children) while men sat on the other side (sometimes with the boys).
Chip, quick comment: I don’t think that the FIC perspective sees the church arrangement you have described here as segregation. In fact, this arrangement (if what you are saying is true) would seem to bolster the idea that all family members were present in the worship services, which is what FIC’s advocate.

FWIW, I don’t consider myself a member of any “movement.” However, I have been provoked by the FIC’s message to think in a critical way about the modern “way we do things” in church. I consider the FIC perspective to be valuable for this reason; it’s good to be aware that “the way we do things” might not be “the ONLY way to do things.” And I do believe that some churches that are humming along with all of their age-segregated/peers only-together programs would do well to consider the other side of the issue and perhaps tweak and/or balance out the age-segregated times with “everyone together” times. Our family has experienced firsthand the benefits that come along with worshiping together with all ages and stages…young and old, single and married, new Christians and seasoned saints. There’s a beauty, richness and depth that “you just have to be there” to understand.

Tue, 03/27/12
For the last twenty years, HSBC has had a robust one on one discipleship program. Early on, some of our older members (chronologically) actually were newly saved thus were discipled by younger (chronologically) but older spiritually members. This hasn’t happened in the last few years as our “bench” has grown in depth. At any rate, usually discipleship takes place between two unrelated individuals.
[Karl S]
[Rob Fall] What was Hamilton Square Baptist Church supposed to do from the late ’50s to the early ’90s? We didn’t have enough families to be our core. We did have older/younger singles and empty nesters.
Rob,

This type of concern tends to come up often (situations w/singles, divorced, etc). The simple answer for me is that, because the underlying principle (based upon the consistent pattern of Scripture) is a unified gathering for corporate worship, the overall family status of any congregation is of only secondary significance. Simply follow the pattern and precept in the Bible of the entire congregation worshiping together.

No “movement” is perfect, and the Family Integrated Church Movement is no different. I think the name tends to give pre-conceived notions that it is only for “complete” families. This is an unfortunate misnomer. One could simply call it the “Integrated Church Movement”, and that might give a more accurate description. Or perhaps you could call it a “Inter-generational Church Movement”. The emphasis in the movement is not so much on “families” per se (although the movement has a lot to say about the family and our church culture), but on worshiping together rather than in peer groups.

I should also say that this does not preclude the principle of discipleship among the members of the congregation. However, this “teaching” would not take place in the cultural normative model (teaching=classroom), but in a relational (one-on-one) type of model. Titus 2 discipleship is viewed as relational, personal, realized by older men discipling younger men & older women discipling younger women (inter-generational), and would typically not be seen as including children (the older women are to be teaching the younger to “love their own husbands”, be “love their children”, etc — strongly implies older adults teaching younger adults).

Hopefully this helps.

Hoping to shed more light than heat..

Tue, 03/27/12
[Julie Herbster]
[Chip Van Emmerik]

Without even getting into all of the doctrinal aberrations common in the FIC movement, the whole notion of an unsegregated 1st century church is simply uninformed. The early church gatherings modeled earlier synagogue meetings, which were definitely segregated. Women sat on one side with girls (or all the children) while men sat on the other side (sometimes with the boys).
Chip, quick comment: I don’t think that the FIC perspective sees the church arrangement you have described here as segregation. In fact, this arrangement (if what you are saying is true) would seem to bolster the idea that all family members were present in the worship services, which is what FIC’s advocate.

FWIW, I don’t consider myself a member of any “movement.” However, I have been provoked by the FIC’s message to think in a critical way about the modern “way we do things” in church. I consider the FIC perspective to be valuable for this reason; it’s good to be aware that “the way we do things” might not be “the ONLY way to do things.” And I do believe that some churches that are humming along with all of their age-segregated/peers only-together programs would do well to consider the other side of the issue and perhaps tweak and/or balance out the age-segregated times with “everyone together” times. Our family has experienced firsthand the benefits that come along with worshiping together with all ages and stages…young and old, single and married, new Christians and seasoned saints. There’s a beauty, richness and depth that “you just have to be there” to understand.
Ditto, ditto, and ditto.

There is http://www.leadered.com/2010Mega/AlisaBraddy/BraddyHandout.pdf] scientific evidence that gender segregation is beneficial at times , while peer segregation has no basis other than a convenient organizational method with which to corral groups of people. The ‘segregation’ that takes place in Scripture still involves everyone being part of the same gathering, not sent to various parts of a building with separate activities so that ne’er the twain shall meet, unless perhaps they chance upon each other in the grocery store wondering why the other looks familiar. :/

As Bro. Karl has noted, the key word of the FIM is Integrated. The use of the word family seems to throw everyone completely off the deck. It would help tremendously if we focused on the Integrated part and stop thinking in terms of ‘the only family that exists in the universe is father-mother-child-golden retriever’.

Our family, which happens to include my widowed mother who lives with us, has also experienced more growth and bonding when we are together for services and activities instead of the modern SOP of being separated into peer groups.

Scenescape Media

Tue, 03/27/12
I guess what I don’t understand is 1 or 2 hours a week .. in the company of other Christians (hopefully..) and an adult leader.

I understand the concept - I do NOT see a whole lot of biblical mandate in the movement .. (any more than for age specific teaching.. ). I don’t agree that it is harmful to have age specific teaching.

I think it probably works GREAT if all or the majority of families in the church are homeschooled .. where all are used to teaching to all ages at once.

There’s been some small discussion in our church to do away with age specific teaching. I think it would be a HUGE mistake .. we are small - but many of our families are in no way “complete” ..

We rarely have activities that are “age specific” .. almost always they cross all generations. We only break out by age for Sunday School - on Wednesday nights our “youth” has morphed into a “father / son” group - because for now we have a few single (sort of) Dad’s with teen boys .. The older dad’s ( ie - my husband ) has started doing another round of “The Truth Project” ..

We tend to let folks go where they want - and it works. Yet - on Sunday morning Sunday school we have our kids broken down by rough “grades” - yet if one is not ready to move on to the next class - we let them stay in the younger - or if one is more mature .. they move on up .. we KNOW these kids .. if the parents don’t attend ( which DOES happen ) we make the call ..

The point is we are flexible in the way we handle things .. we take the time to get to know each other individually .. we have one family that will not “separate” .. that’s cool .. we love them, they participate in activities .. we don’t worry about it..

Tue, 03/27/12
PLewis, your description fits our church as well (we have “segregated” Sunday school and various Wednesday evening programs). I think it’s great that instead of just adopting the normal “pre-fab model,” your church has wisely considered what would be the best way to minister to its members. That’s one of the reasons I really like attending a smaller church; it seems somehow that there is more room for that sort of thing. I guess all I’m really trying to say is that the ideas we are hearing from the FIC should not just be dismissed out of hand. They are valuable, and should be considered. On the flip side, any “good idea” can certainly be taken too far.

Tue, 03/27/12
Julie-

I believe all generations should have opportunity to interact with each other .. AND have opportunity to learn in environments geared toward their learning level. That is why flexibility is important. It also shows the importance of knowing the people involved.

I agree that a smaller church is more conducive to the way we do things.. I think that once a church gets beyond 100 - 200 members it’s time to start a new autonomous church in another neighborhood.. keep churches small and local .. people can know each other and have greater opportunity to serve in the church. Of course I don’t know of a biblical basis for such a thing .. but it sounds like a good idea! Actually this is how our church started .. two large Southern Baptist churches had little church plants in our area .. both the church plants combined once they realized they were on the same mission ..

Tue, 03/27/12
To bob and Karl…

A major point of hermeneutical confusion in the debate is what to make of silence. An example of ‘age segregation’ in the NT is not required any more than we need an example of passing a plate to collect an offering (or having a box at the back if that’s your method). What we have is a mandate to teach and even a mandate to teach particular things to particular sub groups (some of which are age-based). So the details of method are in the sphere of application.

There is also no inconsistency with the sufficiency of Scripture in applying Scripture in this way … or any other way. Nobody believes that sola scriptura demands what we only apply Scripture in ways that we see it apply itself. That is, even the regulatory principle doesn’t exclude the idea that revealed principles must be applied in not-revealed ways.

So the attitude should be something more like “you apply the Scriptures by dividing into age-based groups sometimes; we apply them by not ever dividing into age-based groups—you do your thing and we’ll do ours.”

But can we get to the heart of the controversy? I really think that the FIC movement (I’ve read Baucham’s book and numerous articles on the subject) is mostly driven by alarm that so many young people seem to be leaving the church plus the conviction that age-grouping is to blame for this. This is the central thesis. The rest is an effort to borrow some biblical authority for the preferred solution.

But the “droves of young folks are leaving because of age-segreation” analysis relies heavily on “correlation = causation” thinking. (And there are some major gaps in the research as well: When these kids “leave,” where do they go? How many return later? How do we know they are not just church-hopping, and getting counted as a loss more than once?)

Views expressed are always my own and not my employer's, my church's, my family's, my neighbors', or my pets'. The house plants have authorized me to speak for them, however, and they always agree with me.

Tue, 03/27/12
[Aaron Blumer] So the attitude should be something more like “you apply the Scriptures by dividing into age-based groups sometimes; we apply them by not ever dividing into age-based groups—you do your thing and we’ll do ours.”
I think this is a great conclusion to come to…but that doesn’t seem to be what either side is doing. The “age/peer-segregated” people are troubled that the FIC people do not apply Scripture in the same way they do, and vice versa. Correct me if I’m wrong, but this fact seems to be evident in the original post of this thread, in your article about why churches should have “kid times,” and in Baucham’s writings (and other FIC writings) as well. And, as we all know, the FBFI actually drafted a “resolution” against the FIC movement not too long ago…That’s part of what got all of the discussions going in our circles.
But can we get to the heart of the controversy? I really think that the FIC movement (I’ve read Baucham’s book and numerous articles on the subject) is mostly driven by alarm that so many young people seem to be leaving the church plus the conviction that age-grouping is to blame for this. This is the central thesis. The rest is an effort to borrow some biblical authority for the preferred solution.

But the “droves of young folks are leaving because of age-segreation” analysis relies heavily on “correlation = causation” thinking. (And there are some major gaps in the research as well: When these kids “leave,” where do they go? How many return later? How do we know they are not just church-hopping, and getting counted as a loss more than once?)
I tend to think of this aspect of the issue more as a “common sense” thing. I think we can all agree that heavy reliance on “drawing kids in” and making church “exciting” to them by the use of methods/attractions which appeal to “their age group” is going to create a “me-centered” mentality in those kids, and when they find out that “big church” isn’t nearly as exciting, they’ll tend to look elsewhere for the entertainment they’ve come to equate with what “church” means to them. I agree with you that the FIC movement is somewhat reactionary to the excesses they have perceived in this area. The question for each church/pastor is whether or not they’re guilty of this kind of excess that promotes a “me-centered” mentality.

Tue, 03/27/12
Spiritually speaking, it is highly unlikely that one’s ‘learning level’ correlates with one’s age. Rather, you would separate new Christians from grounded Christians from those in training or being mentored for ministry. My parents required my brother and I to listen to Jay Vernon McGee and Spiros Zodhiates every day, as well as read through Oliver B. Greene’s commentaries when we were still in elementary school. To say we were bored to near insanity in SS and YG is putting it mildly. Our age had nothing to do with our learning level. As a result, our dad pulled us out of SS and kid’s clubs, since they were more occupied with pizza parties and Bible Baseball.

It’s Pot-Meet-Kettle to dismiss the ideas of the FICM because they looked around at the exodus of young people and said, “What’s wrong and how do we fix it?” Isn’t that what we often do here at SI- look at what is wrong with the church in general and Fundamentalism in particular and say “How do we address these issues?” Haven’t we ‘blamed’ Christian celebrity worship, KJVOism, and the whole IFBx enchilada as being a major problem, and we’ve thoroughly dismissed all such with rather definitive actions and language?

FICM advocates believe that age-segregated, fluffball SS classes and YGs are a major problem. IOW, it isn’t just age-segregation that is an issue, but how we approach teaching Scriptural truth to young people. One (age-segregation) seems to beget the other (shallow if not silly material and presentations). And since doing away with both age-segregation and talking vegetables doesn’t hurt anyone, why not dispense with the tomfoolery that often passes for Sunday School and kid’s clubs?

And another thing- with all this talk of divisiveness, I’d like to point out that quite often and in my experience, in traditionally organized churches, any family that believes they need to do things ‘differently’ in order to better minister to the spiritual needs of their family are tagged as trouble-makers and unsupportive of the church’s ministries and treated with disdain as one of ‘those’ people. For instance, if there are major issues to be worked through with the SS or kid’s club materials, or a teacher is having problems that affect their ability or qualifications to teach, or the class dynamic is such where some rowdy kids suck all the spiritual oxygen out of the room- why should a parent ignore their conscience if they feel these problems are detrimental to their kids, especially if the church leadership is dragging their feet about dealing with the problem? Our children are not guinea pigs for someone’s ‘spiritual experiments’.

There is alot to be said for sitting with one’s children in church and watching their faces as the Truth is presented. One can often spot problems that heretofore were unnoticed in the hustle and bustle of every day life. And yet those parents will be summarily dismissed as ‘isolationists’ or some such nonsense because of the concrete entrenchment of peer-segregated organization in churches. Oh yeah- like that attitude’s got ‘spiritual discernment’ written all over it. :/

Scenescape Media

Tue, 03/27/12
[Susan R] Spiritually speaking, it is highly unlikely that one’s ‘learning level’ correlates with one’s age. Rather, you would separate new Christians from grounded Christians from those in training or being mentored for ministry. My parents required my brother and I to listen to Jay Vernon McGee and Spiros Zodhiates every day, as well as read through Oliver B. Greene’s commentaries when we were still in elementary school. To say we were bored to near insanity in SS and YG is putting it mildly. Our age had nothing to do with our learning level. As a result, our dad pulled us out of SS and kid’s clubs, since they were more occupied with pizza parties and Bible Baseball.
Good point, Susan. One could object that “well, that’s not the norm for most kids/families”…but shouldn’t it be? And shouldn’t our churches be concerned with promoting a culture in which families are encouraged to “step it up” in this way at home instead of relying on others to do their job for them? As you’ve said, a church should definitely provide for the kids whose parents aren’t in the picture spiritually…the fledgling Christians who aren’t getting the basics taught at home.

Now, I will quibble a bit with your statement that it is “highly unlikely” that one’s learning level correlates with one’s age. For example, in our church (a church in which parents are committed to a high level of involvement at home), the kids in my children’s Sunday school class are pretty much on the same level of learning and comprehension. So, dh and I really see their SS experience as a positive thing. But, at the same time, we have enjoyed the freedom to pull them out for special studies in the adult class—like the recent study on the minor prophets that correlates with some things we’re talking about at home. Our church understands and encourages flexibility in these areas, and we’re thankful for that.
FICM advocates believe that age-segregated, fluffball SS classes and YGs are a major problem. IOW, it isn’t just age-segregation that is an issue, but how we approach teaching Scriptural truth to young people. One (age-segregation) seems to beget the other (shallow if not silly material and presentations). And since doing away with both age-segregation and talking vegetables doesn’t hurt anyone, why not dispense with the tomfoolery that often passes for Sunday School and kid’s clubs?
Thanks for better articulating what I was trying to say earlier. I would say that another obvious solution would be to provide SS materials that aren’t silly and shallow.
There is alot to be said for sitting with one’s children in church and watching their faces as the Truth is presented. One can often spot problems that heretofore were unnoticed in the hustle and bustle of every day life. And yet those parents will be summarily dismissed as ‘isolationists’ or some such nonsense because of the concrete entrenchment of peer-segregated organization in churches. Oh yeah- like that attitude’s got ‘spiritual discernment’ written all over it. :/
True. I’m so glad that I’ve never been part of a church that fosters this kind of attitude. Even the “age-segregated” churches I’ve attended have been supportive of parents who make “different” decisions for their kids.

Tue, 03/27/12
[Julie Herbster]

Now, I will quibble a bit with your statement that it is “highly unlikely” that one’s learning level correlates with one’s age.
I agree that when we are talking about children, there is some degree to which age will correlate with learning level, simply because most kids are engaged with learning basic skills like reading. But peer or age segregation isn’t usually confined to children’s SS, but YG, singles, senior citizens, etc… Those groups are definitely not going to have any significant degree of correlation between age and spiritual maturity. Also, some kids are precocious learners, and to leave them in a class far below their abilities pretty much guarantees mental stagnation. If parents feel they must constantly compensate for a lack of quality or support from SS, why shouldn’t they seek a better solution?

It isn’t as if there are lots of choices out there for people who want a higher quality of spiritual teaching and interaction in church. In our area, most churches (and every single one that we’ve visited so far) are in the same rut, ‘cause “that’s the way we do it, furthermore that’s the way we’ve always done it.” (Harold Leake) Churches are bowing to popular demand- when families walk into a church for the first time, their initial questions are along the lines of “What do you have for the kids?” So churches have classes that meet the average parent’s expectations, instead of first meeting Scriptural principles of sober study, line upon line, precept upon precept- and let the chips fall where they may.

The church has confused the Great Commission with the idea that we need to “pack ‘em in, whatever it takes”.

I also agree that the obvious solution is to provide quality materials. But if one MUST have age-segregated SS for kids, one should separate ‘churched’ kids from ‘unchurched’ kids, for lack of a better description. The idea that kids won’t pay attention without balloons and candy is a myth. Even kids raised on a steady diet of television will pay attention to a teacher who possesses actual teaching skills and knows how to engage a child’s curiosity and interest, and foster understanding. It is also obvious that in any traditional classroom situation, the squeaky wheel, ie rowdy kid, gets the grease, or attention. If they do not have involved and responsive parents, the teacher has no choice but to sacrifice the needs of the many for the need of the one.

I’ve been teaching for 31 years- in schools both public and Christian, in SS, YGs and junior church, to churched kids and ‘bus’ kids. The most important qualities successful teachers possess (other than depth of Bible knowledge and spiritual maturity) are verbal skills and an affinity for children. Many churches, IMO, have compensated for a lack of gifted workers with material ‘guaranteed’ to hold their interest because it is presented in a primarily entertaining fashion, instead of saying “If we can’t do it right, we simply won’t do it at all”. We should continue with an integrated congregation until spiritually knowledgeable and mature members are available to teach, instead of staffing SS classes with warm bodies that have a pulse because of the pressure to ‘have stuff for the kids’ or ‘have a dynamic singles ministry’- which is Christianese for an acceptable, spiritualized dating service.

Scenescape Media

Tue, 03/27/12
[Karl S] For instance, Dr. Brown … does not attempt to answer the argument from Scripture that he himself acknowledged (“…At the same time, he points to examples in Scripture where families worshiped together as the normal pattern”).
Didn’t Dr. Brown merely recognize that the argument existed, not that it was an “argument from Scripture” or a valid argument? Recognizing existence of an argument is not the same as recognizing validity. A valid argument needs to be answered. But that is not necessarily true about all arguments.

For my part, I can’t recall that many examples of a family worshiping together in the church. In fact, I don’t recall any at the moment. Maybe someone can refresh my memory here. Where does the NT show families worshiping together in church services?
[Susan R] Spiritually speaking, it is highly unlikely that one’s ‘learning level’ correlates with one’s age.
Isn’t it pretty well established that, regardless of material being taught, elementary age minds work differently than adult minds. The structures of thinking are different, so while the material may be the same, the method of teaching probably isn’t. This is why, in cases of mental disability, we might say someone “has the mind of a 6 year old.” That’s not about what they know, but about how capable they are of learning.

Perhaps the silence of the Bible on things like this is a matter of common grace sensibility. It is well accepted that people of different ages do not learn in the same way, and that at different ages different material is taught. It’s why Jesus is able to talk about the simple faith of a child, or Peter the babe on milk, or Paul children tossed about as waves on the sea. The reason why the age metaphors makes sense is because there is a reality that they appeal to that everyone knows. This seems a fairly explicit denial of the principle you are trying to invoke, because in none of those cases does the age in the metaphor correspond to the age of the hearer.

To me, Hebrews 5:12ff. is explicit that there are differing levels of teaching required and expected, and different people in the church to be doing that. And the image used is one of physical age/physical maturity (milk vs. meat).

So this may be an area where the children of darkness are wiser than some of the children of light.

Consider for instance the existence of God: The way that a five year old thinks about that is completely different than the way a 25 year old thinks about that. It’s why “the impossibility of the contrary” would not be good with six year olds, but very good with a 25 year old, even if they are at the same “spiritual age.”

(That is not any kind of defense for what actually goes on in the name of education today broadly speaking.)

I wonder if 1 Tim 3:15 might need more attention here. At the risk of sounding like a heretic, as I read the NT, it seems that God did not give the responsibility of truth propagation and defense to fathers in their families (though he instructs fathers to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord). He gave it to the church. He never calls the family the “pillar and support of the truth.” He does call the church that.

I haven’t been in ministry long (only about eighteen and a half years, including a two year seminary break), but I have seen enough fathers to know that I don’t want them having the primary say in their children’s lives without drastic changes, and those changes will take too long to hang their children out to dry until it takes place. I think it is significant that God gave the primary responsibility of teaching and defending truth to the church with recognized and qualified elders to teach others to do the work of ministry (which includes teaching others; cf. Heb 5:12ff.).

Yes, fathers should be teaching their children. But so should the church, and the church is the primary NT truth teacher, isn’t it? At least in the NT text?

The idea that a church has appropriate age segregated teaching does not mean fathers don’t teach at home. Here’s another heretical statement for you: It is commonly said by some that the church should support what goes on at home. Again 1 Tim 3:15 seems to contradict that. The home should support what is going on in the church. I have seen enough homes that I do not want the church to support what goes on there. Out of all the declarations, images, and metaphors for the church in the NT, one image not used is anything that communicates an instrument of support for parents. Again, heretical I know. But what does the NT actually teach?

Tue, 03/27/12
YG, singles, senior citizens, etc
I think this is a great illustration because it identifies three groups at distinctly different places in their lives. If teaching is the mere transfer of information, then you can teach them all together. If teaching involve the application of truth to life, then segregation is important because the needs of young twenty-something singles on their own are different then the needs of retired senior citizens and living at home high-schoolers. Throw young parents with infants and toddlers in the mix, alongside of middle-aged empty nesters, you add to complexity. Simplifying this into “one size fits all” doesn’t fit anyone. I think it can tend to undermine the importance of biblical preaching.
If parents feel they must constantly compensate for a lack of quality or support from SS, why shouldn’t they seek a better solution?
But remember, it’s not just about your child. There are children in that SS class who would be greatly ministered to by the presence of your child. And in fact, every teacher would likely prefer the involvement of the more mature children. It can undermine the necessity of ministry even by your children in a class that they are “above.” When someone takes their child out of a class, it doesn’t just affect the child. It affects the others in there as well.

I think, with no direct reflection on anyone here intended, that this is part of the problem … We have a very individually centered Christianity that thinks about “What’s best for me?” or “What’s best for my kids?” We don’t think enough about what’s best for others. And yes, other children can be blessed by your children participating in church functions.

How is Susan’s question any different than the person who walks in and says “What do you have for my family?” It still seems consumer oriented … what’s best for me or my child as an individual. It doesn’t seem community oriented.

Tue, 03/27/12
First, I don’t think the situation calls for either/or. The church and family are symbiotic. A pastor is not even qualified to lead a church without his family in order.

Second, responsibility before God eventually comes down to the individual. Pastors will answer for the church, dads will answer for their homes, children will answer for themselves. These spheres of authority should also be recognized as to where they overlap, and where they don’t.

Third, I’ve seen enough of what goes on in churches to not want a church to dictate what goes on in my home.

What the NT actually teaches is that the leadership has their ducks in a row first, and THEN they can lead the church. When that becomes SOP, give me a holler.

Edited to add: When it comes to teaching specific groups that are in ‘different places’ in their lives, how would a congregation not benefit? People do not live in a vacuum or only with their particular demographic. For instance, I’m 46, I have a 10 yob, 13 yog, 15 yob, and 23 yo son. My widowed mother, who is 84, lives with us. Why would I not benefit from hearing preaching that applies to a single person, or elderly widow? How do I learn to better minister to other ‘groups’ than by hearing how to apply truths to those people?

Scenescape Media

Tue, 03/27/12
[Larry] But remember, it’s not just about your child. There are children in that SS class who would be greatly ministered to by the presence of your child. And in fact, every teacher would likely prefer the involvement of the more mature children. It can undermine the necessity of ministry even by your children in a class that they are “above.” When someone takes their child out of a class, it doesn’t just affect the child. It affects the others in there as well.

I think, with no direct reflection on anyone here intended, that this is part of the problem … We have a very individually centered Christianity that thinks about “What’s best for me?” or “What’s best for my kids?” We don’t think enough about what’s best for others. And yes, other children can be blessed by your children participating in church functions.

How is Susan’s question any different than the person who walks in and says “What do you have for my family?” It still seems consumer oriented … what’s best for me or my child as an individual. It doesn’t seem community oriented.
But I think this line of thinking is scary, and it is exactly what I was talking about earlier. If parents make a decision as to how to best minister to their own child, they are ‘selfish’ or ‘isolationist’.

If SS were the only place a person could minister to others, I’d buy the argument. But it ain’t, so I don’t.

Scenescape Media

Tue, 03/27/12
[Larry] Here’s another heretical statement for you: It is commonly said by some that the church should support what goes on at home. Again 1 Tim 3:15 seems to contradict that. The home should support what is going on in the church. I have seen enough homes that I do not want the church to support what goes on there. Out of all the declarations, images, and metaphors for the church in the NT, one image not used is anything that communicates an instrument of support for parents. Again, heretical I know. But what does the NT actually teach?
Larry, if both a church and a family are united around belief in the truth, wouldn’t “who is supporting whom” be a moot issue? The family is a part of the church, after all, not an island unto itself. The family “supports” the church in that it learns from the teaching of the pastor and applies truth properly. The church in turn “supports” the family in that it provides opportunities for growth and discipleship. If the father is teaching truth to his children at home, the church’s teaching will indeed be another source of reinforcement for that teaching.

Tue, 03/27/12
[Susan R] I also agree that the obvious solution is to provide quality materials. But if one MUST have age-segregated SS for kids, one should separate ‘churched’ kids from ‘unchurched’ kids, for lack of a better description.
How does this equate to body life. Or does that part of ecclesiology only apply to adult Christians, not the minor Christians? This overbalance toward one institution to the detriment of another is one of the inherent problems with the FIC movement. Would you want to segregate the adults too? Perhaps two services - one for the mature and one for the novices?

Why is it that my voice always seems to be loudest when I am saying the dumbest things?

Tue, 03/27/12
You are making my point for me. If one believes in segregation, then Scripturally it makes more sense to separate those on a milk diet from those on a meat diet, rather than an arbitrary and senseless division by chronological age or marital status. Or we’d end up with widows ministering to each other instead of being cared for by the church body.

I do not believe, (nor does the FICM) for the average worship service, segregation is ‘needed’ AT ALL.

Scenescape Media

Tue, 03/27/12
But I think this line of thinking is scary, and it is exactly what I was talking about earlier. If parents make a decision as to how to best minister to their own child, they are ‘selfish’ or ‘isolationist’.

If SS were the only place a person could minister to others, I’d buy the argument. But it ain’t, so I don’t.
FYI, I didn’t use “selfish” or “isolationist.” But notice how you didn’t really address the point. Tell me why you are not being consumeristic here at the expense of ministering to others?

Since SS is not the only place of ministry to others (your children included), why would you not have your children in the SS for the purpose of ministering to others and then minister to your own children elsewhere as well? Are your children better off being taught that we give up some things for the sake of ministry to others? Are other children better off because your children are around them, even when they could be somewhere else?

Again, I make the point that Christianity in the NT is not an individual thing, but a team sport. It’s where we all serve each other, even when that is inconvenient to us personally.

You can minister to your children all week long. You can only minister to others when you are around them in the church meetings. You are giving up the latter (which is more limited) for the former (which is virtually unlimited, particularly when you home school).

Tue, 03/27/12
Larry, if both a church and a family are united around belief in the truth, wouldn’t “who is supporting whom” be a moot issue?
No, not in the NT. The church is the foundation, the pillar and support of the truth. It is the central feature of NT Christianity.

OF course I want to support parents when the are doing what is right. But the fundamental relationship in the NT with respect to truth seems to place the priority on the church.

So yes, I want parents leading their families, particularly fathers. But I recognize that many do not, and kids should not be at the mercy of those who don’t.

BTW, I think one reason for this is that in the OT, the primary spiritual relationship was familial, in the covenant community. In the NT, the primary spiritual relationship is not familial.
If the father is teaching truth to his children at home, the church’s teaching will indeed be another source of reinforcement for that teaching.
This is my point: That seems to be worded backwards with respect to the NT. The church is not a source of reinforcement for the home’s teaching. The church is where the truth has been committed to, and the home is to support what is being taught by the God-ordained repository for truth which the church (1 Tim 3:15).

Obviously many churches are failing this in that you all sorts of aberrant teaching, both in doctrine and in practice. But aberrancy doesn’t mean we give up the biblical model.

Tue, 03/27/12
If there was a Biblical mandate to put one’s child in a SS class, I’d understand the argument. But there isn’t. We are free to do what we believe best nurtures our children in the Lord. Churches do not get to take an extra-Biblical idea and make it a Biblical commandment in any dispensation.

Children in their formative years are often NOT in the position to minister to others, and oftentimes they are not regnerate themselves, and thus CANNOT minister to others spiritually. Is church leadership going to say that they know better where a child is spiritually than a parent?

Furthermore, when church leadership expects parents to support their decisions about the family, and insists that parents bow to their judgment against the parent’s own, where are they when it’s time to pick up the pieces? Is the church going to take responsibility when the result is a prodigal? Are they offering a 30 year money back guarantee?

Oh wait- when a kid becomes a prodigal, it must have been the parent’s fault. The church that has claimed primary accountability and responsibility all those years is suddenly staring in wide-eyed innocence “It wasn’t OUR fault!”

Sorry- churches can’t have it both ways. Both parents and churches have a responsibility to the body and the children that are part of that by presence or conversion, but somebody has to have the overriding veto power, and that rests with mom and dad.

Scenescape Media

Tue, 03/27/12
If there was a Biblical mandate to put one’s child in a SS class, I’d understand the argument. But there isn’t. We are free to do what we believe best nurtures our children in the Lord. Churches do not get to take an extra-Biblical idea and make it a Biblical commandment in any dispensation.
No dispute, but since no one is making that argument, I am not sure why this is here. SS is not even a mandate (we don’t have SS here). The issue is more one of wisdom and ministry.

I would love to have some families in our church who are spiritually strong and whose children are faithfully involved. I think it would be an overall negative to have families who thought their children were too good or too advanced for the children’s classes because of the other children in them. I am not attributing this to you, but wouldn’t this lead to pride on the part of your children? Someone says, “Why aren’t you in the class?” “Well, that is too young for us and we are past that.” Think of you own situation: “We listen to Spiros Zodhiates all week, so listening to 65 year old Miss Smith for forty-five minutes is below us.” Again, it just seems to me that it smacks of individualism rather than community.

Again, we have all week long to minister to our children. Since that hour of SS is not the only hour for ministry during the week, why not serve the body during that time by involving them in body life for the sake of others, and use the other 67 hours for personal influence?

There’s a lot of stuff I do, not because it is best for me, but because it is best for those around me. I defer for their sake, and take care of myself and my family in other venues.
Children in their formative years are often NOT in the position to minister to others, and oftentimes they are not regnerate themselves, and thus CANNOT minister to others spiritually.
I completely disagree with this. We are always in our formative years to one degree or another. I think people underestimate the influence of others, even with their mere presence. There is nothing so discouraging to a teacher at any level as having no one show up, or having very few. Even worse is knowing that some who could be there but are not there because they (or their parents) think they are above it or don’t need it.
Is church leadership going to say that they know better where a child is spiritually than a parent?
Quite often, I would say yes. In your case, or mine, perhaps not. But in the case of real families (i.e., those who are not as spiritually committed), it is much more likely that mature Christians can evaluate the spiritual condition of children better than parents. For example, we have had some children attending for several months. Yesterday, for the first time, their mother came. Now, who do you think is better able to evaluate where the child is spiritually? Who has the better categories for that? I would say the church does. I am not even sure that an unsaved parent has the categories for spiritual evaluation.
Furthermore, when church leadership expects parents to support their decisions about the family, and insists that parents bow to their judgment against the parent’s own, where are they when it’s time to pick up the pieces? Is the church going to take responsibility when the result is a prodigal? Are they offering a 30 year money back guarantee?
Again, this doesn’t seem relevant. First, no one here is mandating that parents bow down to church leadership. Second, and more to the point, I doubt there are a lot of kids who went prodigal only because their parents put them in SS and spent the other 167 hours a weak teaching them spiritually. My guess is that there are some other things going on. As you say, the SS hour is not the only hour during the week. My guess is that if a parent spends time daily with their children teaching them, praying for and with them, catechizing them, etc., they will not be greatly damaged by an hour or two with a dedicated and faithful Christian who teaches them in the corporate gathering of the church.
Both parents and churches have a responsibility to the body and the children that are part of that by presence or conversion, but somebody has to have the overriding veto power, and that rests with mom and dad.
Obviously parents can do what they want. But that doesn’t make it good necessarily. Some things parents do, even with good intentions, are wrong or at least unwise. I think this fits into the latter category.

Thanks for the exchange.

Tue, 03/27/12
[Larry]
Larry, if both a church and a family are united around belief in the truth, wouldn’t “who is supporting whom” be a moot issue?
No, not in the NT. The church is the foundation, the pillar and support of the truth. It is the central feature of NT Christianity.
I guess my point is that the family is part of the church. The “family” and the “church” have a symbiotic relationship; they are not entirely separate entities. The church wouldn’t be the church without the people that make it up.
So yes, I want parents leading their families, particularly fathers. But I recognize that many do not, and kids should not be at the mercy of those who don’t.
No disagreement here.
BTW, I think one reason for this is that in the OT, the primary spiritual relationship was familial, in the covenant community. In the NT, the primary spiritual relationship is not familial.
No…but with respect to children (including as yet unregenerate children), the NT clearly places the “bringing up” of the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord squarely upon the fathers’ shoulders. So, shouldn’t churches be focusing more on teaching the fathers to fulfill their God-given responsibilities than they should on providing an “out” for the ones who aren’t up to snuff? If the majority of the fathers in a congregation aren’t doing their jobs, and have to rely on others to “parent their kids” for them, then wouldn’t you agree that the church has a primary responsibility to help those fathers and not just give them another reason to shirk their duty (by undertaking the child training for them)? I know that I’m speaking in broad terms here, and that every church dynamic is different (urban ministries are definitely different than suburban, etc.), but I don’t think that in a healthy church, the problem of “untaught kids” should be overwhelming enough to merit complete age segregation.
If the father is teaching truth to his children at home, the church’s teaching will indeed be another source of reinforcement for that teaching.
This is my point: That seems to be worded backwards with respect to the NT. The church is not a source of reinforcement for the home’s teaching. The church is where the truth has been committed to, and the home is to support what is being taught by the God-ordained repository for truth which the church (1 Tim 3:15).

Obviously many churches are failing this in that you all sorts of aberrant teaching, both in doctrine and in practice. But aberrancy doesn’t mean we give up the biblical model.
I get what you are saying, and I agree with you. I guess I don’t see how this negates the father’s responsibility as head of his home and chief “bringer upper” of his children. :)

In case you missed it, I see no problem with age-segregated SS done correctly…however, this method (seeing that it really has no biblical mandate) shouldn’t be considered an “iron cage” or “the way things ought always to be done in every church.”

Tue, 03/27/12
There are far too many separate points and “what if” scenarios to address now. Suffice it to say that I believe there are spheres of authority that often overlap and occasionally supersede each other. The individual, the family, the church- all have Biblical principles to follow. When each are fulfilling their duties, all will benefit in the manner that God intended.

My only objection in this whole shebang is when the church leadership believes it is in the position to mandate extra-Biblical ideas to individuals and families, be it SS or movies or music. Biblical principles guide us quite far down the path, and then after that we have some liberty to figure out how to best minister to ourselves and to each other.

It may sound like pride or selfishness to say that one must attend to one’s own spiritual needs first, but that is exactly what Scripture teaches. I cannot minister to anyone else unless I am in the position to do so, and neither can my kids. The Bible further commands that pastors, elders, deacons, and teachers have certain qualifications, and in each passage dealing with church leadership, they are commanded to have their families in order. If they do not have their families in order, they cannot lead the church of God. That tells me something about what God believes the proper relationship between church and family should be.

Again, it is not either/or, and there is no blanket rule for every family to follow. Not participating in SS is not being a ‘consumer’ or ‘me-centered’. Kids would much rather play games and chatter with friends than sit with mom and dad in church and be expected to pay attention and intelligently discuss the spiritual truths presented. It takes a lot more effort to take responsibility for one’s children in every aspect of their lives than to delegate and hope for the best.

For families and children who are from broken homes, obviously the church should minister to them, and ‘churched’ kids can be a part of that. But it is still a parent’s duty to decide if their child is mature enough to be any kind of help. Unfortunately, many SS classes are comprised of kids whose parents aren’t involved or don’t care, where kids are using foul and sexually explicit language, boys and girls are flirting instead of paying attention, shallow material is used week after week because it is assumed that kids won’t pay attention without it… that is not the kind of sacrifice that Christian parents or kids are called to make. That is why I said that the church is commanded to have their ducks in a row first before they can adequately minister to a congregation, much less dictate to parents how they should teach and train their kids.

Scenescape Media

Tue, 03/27/12
[Julie] I get what you are saying, and I agree with you. I guess I don’t see how this negates the father’s responsibility as head of his home and chief “bringer upper” of his children. Smile

In case you missed it, I see no problem with age-segregated SS done correctly…however, this method (seeing that it really has no biblical mandate) shouldn’t be considered an “iron cage” or “the way things ought always to be done in every church.”
I agree with you on all that.

Tue, 03/27/12
Suffice it to say that I believe there are spheres of authority that often overlap and occasionally supersede each other. The individual, the family, the church- all have Biblical principles to follow. When each are fulfilling their duties, all will benefit in the manner that God intended.
I agree.
My only objection in this whole shebang is when the church leadership believes it is in the position to mandate extra-Biblical ideas to individuals and families, be it SS or movies or music. Biblical principles guide us quite far down the path, and then after that we have some liberty to figure out how to best minister to ourselves and to each other.
Again, I agree.
It may sound like pride or selfishness to say that one must attend to one’s own spiritual needs first, but that is exactly what Scripture teaches.
I agree, but that’s not really the issue here.
If they do not have their families in order, they cannot lead the church of God. That tells me something about what God believes the proper relationship between church and family should be.
I don’t agree here. The requirements you mention regarding families deal with leadership in the church, and the relationship between one leading the church and the way he manages his family. That is not applicable to the membership of the church. It should be taught, but it is not demanded. So here, I think you are comparing apples and oranges.
Not participating in SS is not being a ‘consumer’ or ‘me-centered’.
Not necessarily, but it can be.
Kids would much rather play games and chatter with friends than sit with mom and dad in church and be expected to pay attention and intelligently discuss the spiritual truths presented.
As with some stuff above, not sure why this is here. No one has suggested this, have they?
It takes a lot more effort to take responsibility for one’s children in every aspect of their lives than to delegate and hope for the best.
If parents delegate and hope for the best, then they are sinning. But I don’t think anyone has suggested that, have they?
Unfortunately, many SS classes are comprised of kids whose parents aren’t involved or don’t care, where kids are using foul and sexually explicit language, boys and girls are flirting instead of paying attention, shallow material is used week after week because it is assumed that kids won’t pay attention without it… that is not the kind of sacrifice that Christian parents or kids are called to make.
First, some of this is just life in ministry. And if you want to avoid it all, you must go out of the world. Second, no one here is defending this. So running to an extreme to argue against a norm is not all that helpful. If you disagree with what you list here, then I welcome you to the party. I oppose it all, and have for a long time. That’s not really the point.
That is why I said that the church is commanded to have their ducks in a row first before they can adequately minister to a congregation, much less dictate to parents how they should teach and train their kids.
I am not sure what this means. The church is the congregation, so I am not sure how the church can have its ducks in a row before ministering to the church. Furthermore, it seems to me that a healthy church will never have all its ducks in a row. There will always be foul mouthed people, flirting, bad influences, etc. It’s called ministry.

In the end, I imagine that most of what you oppose is what I oppose and what I work against in our church. But I have been around enough to see some severe dangers with some of the “solutions” that the FIC approach brings. Not to mention the whole lack of a biblical model for it.

Regardless of all the ink spilled (cyberly speaking of course), at the end of the day, the Bible still uses age related metaphors, still speaks of growth and teaching people where they are at, and still gives the church to responsibility to defend and propagate the truth. Families should be strong families, and fathers should lead their families. Churches should teach and disciple men to lead their families. And when men do that effectively, most of the danger that you are concerned about is greatly minimized.

Again thanks, and I will give you the last word if you want it.

Tue, 03/27/12
we appear to be talking past each other. I think we agree far more than it appears on the screen. C’est la vie.
The requirements you mention regarding families deal with leadership in the church, and the relationship between one leading the church and the way he manages his family. That is not applicable to the membership of the church. It should be taught, but it is not demanded. So here, I think you are comparing apples and oranges.
I didn’t say it applied to the membership, although, in a sense, it does. Christian parents who do not disciple their children are in rebellion against God.

My point was more to the fact that church leadership can’t/shouldn’t lead if their families aren’t in order tells me that God places a high priority on an orderly family as much as He does an orderly church. The two expectations are not in competition, but rather are essential to each other. When I said the church needs to have their ducks in a row, I was still speaking of the leadership, not the church body in general. Sorry if I was not being very clear on that.

Then my next point was about the state of the church and the re-examination of our methods to see if they truly are Biblical, and to examine the fruit. It is simplistic to say that age-segregation is alone responsible for a falling away of young people, but I believe it is a link in a chain of more and more secularization in the church, more marketing, more gimmicks, more fluff etc… aimed at kids in order to bring in families, and the result has been a shallow faith, if not a counterfeit faith. Age-segregation seems to beget a more entertainment oriented dynamic, and I think kids suffer spiritually because of that. If a church can have classes and avoid those traps, more power to ‘em.

My dh and I were looking into this issue long before we’d heard of the FICM, because we were seeing some very poor fruit coming from many of the SS classes and kid’s clubs in church, and of course I had my own upbringing to fall back on. My dad’s attitude was that church was SERIOUS BUSINESS. The first time my dh ate a Tootsie Roll in church I thought God would strike him down where he stood. Even if he does have blood sugar issues- a Tootsie Roll? Oy vey.

But as my dh and I look around for something different, we’ve found that there is very little that is different. Every church is doing the same exact thing, with practically the same curriculum, the same silly songs, and the same kinds of well-meaning but inexperienced/spiritually immature/ungifted teachers.

And let me just say that I appreciate these lovely, caring people who really, really want to help and volunteer outside of their… skill set- they are not at fault here, IMO because they probably have not received proper teaching about qualifications and gifts in the church, and many churches are desperate for warm bodies to fill in the spaces.

So- what does a family do but stay and do the best they can where they are? That’s where you get parents who opt out of SS or YGs for their kids, because for the most part they love their church, but they believe some aspects are out of line, and instead of just leaving they stay and try to work through it, ministering to their kids and addressing issues with the church leadership the best they can. But eventually their family has to take priority if church leadership is unresponsive. I am talking about real Biblical concerns, here, not petty complaints.

BTW, my description of a SS class was not worst-case scenario, but the norm, in my experience. The purpose of SS is supposed to be to ground kids in truth, not subject them to immorality and call it ‘ministry’, especially when many of them are newborn babes in the Word. We do ‘leave the world’ to a great extent when we walk through the doors of the church, which is the topic here. We have different expectations, Scriptural expectations, for church than we do for a visit to the grocery store or the zoo. I think our kids should be able to engage in learning and worship without being distracted and harassed by other kids who are not interested. We would never expect the adults of a congregation to tolerate rowdy behavior, immoral speech or conduct during a service, and in some cases physical assault, so why should our children? What woman is going to feel worshipful or even be able to focus if the man behind her was pulling her hair the entire service? Would we tell her to deal with it because it was just part of ministry, he’s from a broken home, he’s lost and he doesn’t know better? Of course not.

You don’t have to answer, Bro. Larry. Sorry to go on and on. The mulberry bush is worn pert near to a nub. :)

Scenescape Media

Tue, 03/27/12
[Susan R]

My only objection in this whole shebang is when the church leadership believes it is in the position to mandate extra-Biblical ideas to individuals and families, be it SS or movies or music. Biblical principles guide us quite far down the path, and then after that we have some liberty to figure out how to best minister to ourselves and to each other.
I agree with this totally - which is why it took us a LONG time to find a church teaching the Bible that was a good fit for our family.
[Susan R]

Again, it is not either/or, and there is no blanket rule for every family to follow. Not participating in SS is not being a ‘consumer’ or ‘me-centered’. Kids would much rather play games and chatter with friends than sit with mom and dad in church and be expected to pay attention and intelligently discuss the spiritual truths presented. It takes a lot more effort to take responsibility for one’s children in every aspect of their lives than to delegate and hope for the best.
I do not think it’s fair to make a statement that implies that families that participate in SS are taking less effort and therefore less responsibility for their children. If a church is on target Biblically, and is loving .. there should be no reason why a parent should feel that their children would not be taught the correct things .. afterall - if the teachers are Christians, spending time preparing and in prayer - it’s really the Holy Spirit who will be speaking to the hearts isn’t it?

Tue, 03/27/12
If a man’s 15 year old son (living at home) wants to get baptized and the father says no, will you baptize him?

If his dad tells him he can’t come to your church anymore because he is convinced your church teaches wrong doctrine, so they are going somewhere else, will you tell him to disobey his dad?

Suppose his dad decided that they will attend your church, but he doesn’t have confidence in the youth group leaders and teen Sunday School teachers, so he says they won’t go to that. If the son wants to be part of the youth group, will you tell him to disobey his dad?

Unless the answers to these questions are yes, then I don’t think you actually have described very well where you think the division of responsibility / authority lies between home and church.

I believe in I Timothy 3:15, too, but I would answer to all of these that the son obeys his dad. I think the way you’ve expressed yourself on the verse in this thread presses the point farther than it was intended, and farther than you probably actually practice.

http://mindrenewers.com/

Tue, 03/27/12
[PLewis] I do not think it’s fair to make a statement that implies that families that participate in SS are taking less effort and therefore less responsibility for their children. If a church is on target Biblically, and is loving .. there should be no reason why a parent should feel that their children would not be taught the correct things .. afterall - if the teachers are Christians, spending time preparing and in prayer - it’s really the Holy Spirit who will be speaking to the hearts isn’t it?
Quite a bit of this issue revolves around motives. A parent who feels confident that the church’s SS programs and teachers are going to minister to their kids is far different from the parent who by default sends their kids to SS regardless of the curriculum or teacher qualifications in order to ‘get a break’ from them. Also, my qualifying statement was about kids going to SS to “play games and chatter with friends”. A SS program that involves sober study is not what I was talking about. The problem is that I seldom see SS programs that really embrace a serious, studious, reverent attitude toward Scripture.

Part of the problem, IMO, is some harmful attitudes that are tolerated about family and children. There’ve been far too many instances where I’ve heard snarky comments about teaching and training children from parents who “can’t wait until the bus rolls up each morning” and “could never homeschool because I couldn’t stand being with my kids all day”. This is wicked, IMO, but it is not only accepted, it’s expected, and often a source of amusement. If someone talked like that about their spouse, we’d be concerned about the health of their marriage, and yet it’s OK to talk about kids like they are inconvenient burdens? I adore being with my kids- they are fun and interesting. We stood in the kitchen talking and laughing last night for 3+ hours- at which point Mr. Raber’s carriage turned into a pumpkin. :) But if SS is basically for the purpose of keeping kids quiet and out of the way so the adults can worship- which is how I’ve heard it described more than once- that’s a harmful, unBiblical attitude. Anyway, the point is that while SS can be used to teach and train kids, it can also be used to abdicate responsibility.

I was thinking last night about how many elements of discipleship and worship the church accepts and adopts that at root have extra-Biblical origins, like the altar call and revival meetings, but we often can’t seem to view them as extra-Biblical. They’ve become part of the fabric of the church, and just the idea of suggesting that we should reconsider the whole thing is shocking. SS is another one of those things that the church uses but seldom asks where the idea came from and why, and if it is indeed extra-Biblical, it should receive a double heapin’ helpin’ of scrutiny.

I also sometimes wonder who invented the sticker chart. :p

Scenescape Media

Tue, 03/27/12
[Aaron] So the attitude should be something more like “you apply the Scriptures by dividing into age-based groups sometimes; we apply them by not ever dividing into age-based groups—you do your thing and we’ll do ours.”

I think this is a great conclusion to come to…but that doesn’t seem to be what either side is doing. The “age/peer-segregated” people are troubled that the FIC people do not apply Scripture in the same way they do, and vice versa. Correct me if I’m wrong, but this fact seems to be evident in the original post of this thread, in your article about why churches should have “kid times,” and in Baucham’s writings (and other FIC writings) as well. And, as we all know, the FBFI actually drafted a “resolution” against the FIC movement not too long ago…That’s part of what got all of the discussions going in our circles.
It’s important to understand the actual sequence of events. Long before I wrote about Kid Times, I wrote a two-article piece against FIC here at SharperIron. (It disappeared either in the server crash in ‘06 or maybe before due to the near-riot that ensued when I wrote it).

Even in ‘05, what I wrote was in reaction to what the FIC movement was already doing that was resulting in unnecessary conflict in local churches. The FBFI resolutions were also reactions… as is Doug’s piece here.

What are they reactions to? They are not reactions to the idea that teaching families together might be a better method. This is not what the FIC has been claiming from the beginning. Rather, their verbiage out of the gate has been to characterize age-grouping as unbiblical, humanistic, and responsible for virtually all the defections of young people from congregations. In my original articles on the subject I quoted Scott Brown and others accusing churches that age-group of not caring about children, of adopting a procedure invented by anti-God humanists, then intentionally painting a veneer of Scripture over it in order to more effectively spread the poison.

I showed that these assertions are not only factually incorrect (age grouping has been going on since way before humanism, for example) but that it was not appropriate to attack the motives of those who incorporate this in their Christian ed practices.

Some defenders were adamant that I’d gotten Brown and Phillips et. al. all wrong, but they never could explain how I had misquoted them.

Compared to much of the FIC movement rhetoric, Doug Brown’s language in the OP is quite even handed. And my own writings on the subject have frequently suggested that the division the movement has fueled is not intended by its leaders—but that it is a consequence, nonetheless.

So… I don’t mean to imply that these matters of application cannot be debated. They should be. But both sides should refrain from over-the-top accusations and generalizations about the motives of those who simply want to do something different.

Views expressed are always my own and not my employer's, my church's, my family's, my neighbors', or my pets'. The house plants have authorized me to speak for them, however, and they always agree with me.

Tue, 03/27/12
Thank you for taking time to clarify those points, Aaron. In your article about “Why Churches Should Have Kid Times,” this is your conclusion:
Every church with adequate resources should include kid times in its ministry.
I just perused the original thread in which your article was the OP. There was quite a lively discussion about what you meant by using the word should in your title and conclusion. At one point, you admitted that perhaps you’d gotten a bit too “fiery” in your reaction to the FICM. I’m glad you took a minute to clarify again on this thread that you believe that this issue is a matter of application, method, and preference, and that churches (with or without adequate resources) which do not offer “kid times” are not remiss in obeying Scripture.

Tue, 03/27/12
So Jon, let me ask you this: Suppose the dad tells the son, “You cannot believe in Jesus for salvation.”

Do you tell him to obey his father?

Tue, 03/27/12
Larry, you never answered my question, but I’ll answer yours. Belief (or unbelief) can’t be ordered. If the son believes, he believes, and can’t un-believe, whatever dad says. A strange question from a guy who considers himself, if I remember correctly, at least somewhat Calvinistic. :)

Back to my question. Would you tell the son to carry out disobedient actions in the cases I asked about? Or would you say the church, the pillar and ground of the truth, supersedes parental authority in those cases?

http://mindrenewers.com/

Tue, 03/27/12
Let me say that I am encouraged to see some hermeneutical/Biblical evidence in the discussion over this issue. At the end of the day our experiences, opinions, deductions, etc. must all conform to the Word. With that said, let me delve in a bit.
A major point of hermeneutical confusion in the debate is what to make of silence. An example of ‘age segregation’ in the NT is not required any more than we need an example of passing a plate to collect an offering (or having a box at the back if that’s your method). What we have is a mandate to teach and even a mandate to teach particular things to particular sub groups (some of which are age-based). So the details of method are in the sphere of application.

There is also no inconsistency with the sufficiency of Scripture in applying Scripture in this way … or any other way. Nobody believes that sola scriptura demands what we only apply Scripture in ways that we see it apply itself. That is, even the regulatory principle doesn’t exclude the idea that revealed principles must be applied in not-revealed ways.
I agree there is a mandate to teach, and that there is teaching to take place among some age-based “subgroups” (although whether this takes place under the roof of the church may be debatable). However, I do not consider the overall heading of “teaching” as it relates to the church to be a matter of silence. I would also take exception with the broad sphere of applying Scripture, at least as you stated it here.

With regards to making application, I would agree that it is certainly true that revealed principles are by necessity applied in non-revealed ways (such as applying I Cor. 4:2 to financial matters in addition to spiritual). It is through these types of applications that we are able to bring all matters of faith and practice into subjection to Him.

However, when we are making these applications, we must make sure that such applications are harmonious to the testimony of Scripture as a whole. For instance, if the church acquired funds through a raffle, I believe most of us would agree that trying to apply I Cor. 4:2 to how we use those funds would not be the most important consideration.

I believe the same is true as we deal with this issue. And this brings me to the issue of silence. The assumption in many comments and arguments seems to be that Scriptures command the church to teach; that this mandate includes all age groups; and that beyond that there is silence, and therefore liberty in regards to methodology. I believe this is a false assumption.

It is true that the Scriptures command the church to teach. And as per previous comments, the Scriptures call the NT church the pillar and ground of the truth. Beyond this, however, we see numerous examples of what and how the church is to teach and perform its functions. We are given the church offices of pastor and deacon, and the lifestyle expectations of men occupying these offices (Acts. 6:1-7, I Tim. 3, Titus 1). We are given regulations on how church is to be conducted (I Cor. 11, I Cor. 14:26-40, I Tim. 2:8-12, I Tim. 5, Col 3:16). We see instructions from Paul on what types of things to teach (Titus 2, II Tim. 4:1-4). We see examples of this teaching fleshed out in sermons in Acts as well as all the epistles to the churches. Beyond this, we have numerous examples of corporate teaching in the Old Testament.

The overall pattern in both the OT and NT of corporate teaching and worship is inclusion and integration of all God’s people (Deut. 12:12, 16:11, 29:10-11, 31:10-13, Josh 8:34-35, I Kin. 8:14, II Kin. 23:1-2, II Chron. 20:13, Ezra 10:1, Neh. 8:1-3, 12:43, 13:1-3, Matt. 14:21, Mk. 10:13-16, Acts 2:46-47, 12:12, 14:27, 20:7-9, Heb. 10:25, Jas. 2:1-4). Never in all the instances of corporate worship recorded in the Word do you find a “children’s class” or “children’s church”, whereas you do find children specifically called out as being a part of the general assembly in numerous instances. When you find instances of children being taught in Scripture, it is done in the midst of the assembly or by the parents (or, in the exceptional case of Samuel, one-on-one mentor-ship by a Spiritual leader).

Furthermore, the responsibility and command to teach children is always given to the parents! (Deut. 6:6-7, 11:18-19, Eph. 6:4). Children have another “level” of authority over them. This does not mean that children are not also under the teaching of the church, but that this teaching occurs in a more indirect way because of the additional jurisdiction above them. This same principle is even applied (albeit with different caveats due to the somewhat different nature of the jurisdictional relationship) to married women — I Cor. 14:34-35. This is an important principle which everyone seems to miss!

Furthermore, commands are given by the church authority (the epistles to the churches) to its membership (as these letters were read) about familial relationships. What is taught by the church to distinct members within a family only affirms this jurisdictional relationship (Eph. 5:22-6:4, Col. 3:18-21)! In addition, the fact that Paul writes instruction directly to children (as well as other “sub-groups”) in his epistles implies that these parties would be present to hear the instruction (in the general assembly). Therefore, in the church setting, you have the pattern of a unified assembly being taught by pastors/elders, and specific additional instruction within the family unit being given by the father/husband in a home setting.

Therefore, you may justly say that the Scripture is silent with regards to age-segregation as it is practiced in the church today. This is because Scripture by pattern and principle teaches a different model! Therefore, to mandate another model would be in effect to “teach for doctrines the commandments of men” (Matt. 15:9, Col. 2:20-23). In addition, I would think that in this area careful consideration should be given to the principle of Deut. 4:2, 12:30-32, Prov. 30:6 & Rev. 22:18-19.

You can find Scriptures that describe the meeting of the church as a corporate gathering, using language indicative of one unified group. You can find Scriptures that speak of children (and/or families) gathered with this unified assembly. You can find children being taught/blessed by the leader of the assembly. You can find principles of familial jurisdiction/relationships and commands given by the church for how that is to be fleshed out. I’ll leave the Titus 2 sub-group teaching application for another day, but just say that in this case the teaching in view is being carried out by one pastor, with the exception of the “young women”; in no area are children in view.

It is primarily upon all this “NON-silence” that I take my stand on this issue. I could go into secondary practical considerations, but I wanted this post (and the focus on the issue in general) to be a biblical one. Unfortunately, we’ve been doing “ministry” in such a pragmatic and “classroom” oriented mindset for so long, it can be quite difficult to think outside of the box. However, I believe it is necessary because it appears to me as if our box and God’s box are not the same. :) And, if any of you have made it this far, let me either congratulate you on going directly to the bottom, or apologize to you for such a long post. :D