“The old purity culture that has earned such scorn in trendy Christian circles over recent years certainly had its limitations and its problems. But it understood a couple of truths: Sex is important, not trivial; sex is sacred, not just one species of human act among others” - Carl Trueman
“ ‘Purity culture’ arose in the 1990s as an evangelical reaction to a broader culture that, in more ways than ever, embraced sexual freedom…. Church leaders responded by promoting virginity before marriage, as the church always has, adding in tactics of pledges, purity rings, and dances with their dads.” - Breakpoint
“What happened? After all, doesn’t the Bible teach abstinence until marriage? It is worth taking a look deeper into the movement.” - P&D
“We don’t need a better guidebook or a different set of rules. We need to change the way we approach the conversation.” - C.Today
“Viewing sex as a consumer act steers our young men into a self-serving view of sex that, apart from the grace of God, they take with them into marriage. We shouldn’t teach sexual abstinence before marriage because doing so makes for a better sex life in marriage….
Today’s ideas about “biblical” love, dating, and courtship come from a variety of sources. Notable influencers in this area have been Bill Gothard, Joshua Harris (I Kissed Dating Goodbye), Josh McDowell and Richard Ross (True Love Waits). I’m sure all of us are affected by our own experiences as a young person navigating the mine field of romantic relationships, and all this combined together may add up to more confusion than clarity.
My biggest concern is the lack of Bible in “biblical” advice about The Search for a Spouse. The Bible guides us in several ways, including command, doctrine, principle, precedent, and illustration. Taking in all the preaching and teaching I’ve heard over the years would lead me to believe that there is a mandate for every Christian to focus on acquiring a spouse with an accompanying list of commandments so each can find The Right One.
We are not very quick to acknowledge the few clear Scriptural reasons we are given to pursue marriage: to avoid fornication, as a picture of Christ and the church, and to raise godly children. Even though Paul advocates for singlehood, we can ignore him whenever he speaks by permission and not of commandment. Right?
