My ‘Mom Rage’ Is Understandable. But It’s Not Excusable.

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“Though it’s largely assumed that mothers have natural, self-giving love for their children (and we do), being a mom does not preclude real, powerful darkness from growing in our hearts. …’Mother rage can change you, providing access to parts of yourself you didn’t even know you had.’” - Christianity Today

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The Tragedy of Self Deception: Relationships

Posted by permission of Think on These Things and Voice. (Read Part 1.)

The only means we have to free ourselves from habitual self-deception is the mirror of the Word of God.

Anger

Scripture never condemns anger per se. As a matter of fact we are given examples of appropriate, godly anger in the life of Jesus and a number of His followers, and we are actually commanded to “be angry” at times (Eph 4:26a). Obviously if God is angry at sin it cannot be wrong for believers to be angry at the same sins. Righteous anger reacts against actual sin, not against inconvenience or violation of personal preference. Righteous anger, instead, is concerned about the Lord and His glory. It is focused on what offends God and injures others, not about what harms the angry person. Righteous anger is self-controlled and concerned for the good of others.

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Good and Angry: Four Anger Myths

They may not be many in number, but they do exist: Christians who are thoroughly confused about anger. During counseling, reading, and sermon-listening, four myths have come to my attention repeatedly. Here’s a brief, non-expert—but hopefully thought-provoking—response.

Myth 1: If you don’t let it out, anger will drive you crazy.

This popular notion probably has its roots in Freudian psychoanalysis. Freud’s million-dollar idea (or at least the pop-psych version of it) was that the human subconscious sort of reroutes “repressed” emotions into psychoses that seem unrelated to their causes. Pent up anger can eventually make you think you’ve been abducted by aliens or that people you know and love are afflicted by a strange disease only you know about and that you have to shoot them to cure them. So, to be healthy, we must express not repress.

This kind of thinking about anger is common in popular film and television. If only the serial killer had openly expressed his anger, he would never have become such a monster. Cue commercial.

Sometimes Christians view anger this way as well. “I just need to vent,” they say.

But if we remove the Freudian assumptions, the idea that it’s healthy to openly express anger looks highly questionable. Is there really a place anger goes to lurk when we’re not feeling it? Certainly our thoughts and beliefs live in memory, but what if anger—and other emotions—really exist only when we’re feeling them?

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Book Review: Turn Away Wrath

Hummel, Rand. Turn Away Wrath: Meditations to Control Anger and Bitterness. Greenville, SC; JourneyForth, 2007. Softcover, 165 pages. $8.49.

(Review copy courtesy of BJU Press.)

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