The SI 3.0 conspiracy?
First came the Danny Sweatt message.
Then came the furor.
Then the response from FBFI, acting like they weren’t sure why this was happening.
Then came the near universal call for people to “move on” and the opinion was “’nuff said.” And everyone was urged to move on for the peace of the movement.
Then, SI 3.0 mysteriously failed to migrate data from the old version, so that all the discussion and debate on these things “happened to” vanish, to be recovered at some indefinite point in the future.
Here we move into the realms of informed speculation.
It’s clear that our Aaron Blumer has now become a pawn of the alien conspiracy to take over Fundamentalism!
He was bribed (informed insiders tell us) by the Nigerian Woman who finally managed to transfer her millions to the United States through him. This woman has long been known (my informants tell me) as an agent of these powers, and now that she has sent all of her money to Aaron, any attempts to get money out of her will now result only in you being bilked! Beware!
We should not really be too hard on Aaron. It was either take the money and cull the SI database, or wake up in New Orleans in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney.
Beware of those who refer to themselves as being against the Young Fundamentalists. They are in on the plot. If you are uncertain, confirmation of their involvement can be determined by the presence of a Procter and Gamble tattoo on the back of their neck.
Beware of those who claim to be Young Fundamentalists. Many of them have been suborned also, and are agent provocateurs. One of them is actually hiding the data that NASA lost about the missing day from the book of Joshua!
All of this is setting up, of course, for the big takeover, in which our children will be herded into the Obama Service Brigades, all religious programming will be banned from the airwaves, and “In God We Trust” will be removed from the money, and replaced with the phrase “ ‘I told you so’ – Madalyn Murray O’Hair.”
Many people died getting us this information. In particular, we would like to acknowledge the real original Steve from Blues Clues, who surfaced long enough to tell his story before they ended his life.
What can you do?
Post furiously on SI, faster than they can take the posts down. Let the truth speak!
All pastors should wear foil caps while preaching.
Make sure both headlights in your car are working. This is vital, or they will gun you down as part of their initiation. In fact, stop your car in traffic if necessary and climb out to verify the headlights are working. Constant vigilance is all that will keep you safe!