SI 3.0 Conspiracy

The SI 3.0 conspiracy?

First came the Danny Sweatt message.
Then came the furor.
Then the response from FBFI, acting like they weren’t sure why this was happening.
Then came the near universal call for people to “move on” and the opinion was “’nuff said.” And everyone was urged to move on for the peace of the movement.

Then, SI 3.0 mysteriously failed to migrate data from the old version, so that all the discussion and debate on these things “happened to” vanish, to be recovered at some indefinite point in the future.

Here we move into the realms of informed speculation.
It’s clear that our Aaron Blumer has now become a pawn of the alien conspiracy to take over Fundamentalism!
He was bribed (informed insiders tell us) by the Nigerian Woman who finally managed to transfer her millions to the United States through him. This woman has long been known (my informants tell me) as an agent of these powers, and now that she has sent all of her money to Aaron, any attempts to get money out of her will now result only in you being bilked! Beware!
We should not really be too hard on Aaron. It was either take the money and cull the SI database, or wake up in New Orleans in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney.

Beware of those who refer to themselves as being against the Young Fundamentalists. They are in on the plot. If you are uncertain, confirmation of their involvement can be determined by the presence of a Procter and Gamble tattoo on the back of their neck.

Beware of those who claim to be Young Fundamentalists. Many of them have been suborned also, and are agent provocateurs. One of them is actually hiding the data that NASA lost about the missing day from the book of Joshua!

All of this is setting up, of course, for the big takeover, in which our children will be herded into the Obama Service Brigades, all religious programming will be banned from the airwaves, and “In God We Trust” will be removed from the money, and replaced with the phrase “ ‘I told you so’ – Madalyn Murray O’Hair.”

Many people died getting us this information. In particular, we would like to acknowledge the real original Steve from Blues Clues, who surfaced long enough to tell his story before they ended his life.

What can you do?
Post furiously on SI, faster than they can take the posts down. Let the truth speak!
All pastors should wear foil caps while preaching.
Make sure both headlights in your car are working. This is vital, or they will gun you down as part of their initiation. In fact, stop your car in traffic if necessary and climb out to verify the headlights are working. Constant vigilance is all that will keep you safe!

1664 reads
Jay's picture

In reality, the President dispatched a platoon of Delta Force commandos to seize all of our servers and resources because he "just wants all of us to get along". That being said, it's a good thing that Aaron buried a very, very old backup tape [made right after the 2006 SI crash ] in his back yard, and he's frantically digging around in his yard to find it before they return so we can figure out how to resolve the CCM issue.

But don't worry, Aaron's now reporting to the chief of DARPA and as long as we do exactly what they tell us no one will get hurt; furthermore, we'll be allowed to continue using the new government supplied server for the time being. But it's set to close and lock any threads pertaining to culottes on women automatically, so you are all warned.

:bigsmile:

"Our task today is to tell people — who no longer know what sin is...no longer see themselves as sinners, and no longer have room for these categories — that Christ died for sins of which they do not think they’re guilty." - David Wells

MarkO's picture

the new look is great and i think easier to navigate - thanks for the hard work

Mark O
aborrowedlight.wordpress.com

Aaron Blumer's picture

EditorAdmin

Enjoyed that Mike.
...but I seem to have misplaced the alien bribe and the Nigerian millions... it's gotta be around here somewhere. Seen it?

T Howard's picture

Aaron Blumer wrote:
...but I seem to have misplaced the alien bribe and the Nigerian millions... it's gotta be around here somewhere. Seen it?

Funny thing how Jason Janz has disappeared too. I wonder if he took off with Aaron's cash to start his PTL-like theme park in Denver?

Diane Heeney's picture

"In particular, we would like to acknowledge the real original Steve from Blues Clues, who surfaced long enough to tell his story before they ended his life."

You know, Steve did say "You can do anything that you wanna do." I doubt he was a fundamentalist. Wink

"I pray to God this day to make me an extraordinary Christian." --Whitefield http://strengthfortoday.wordpress.com