The Onion on School-Homing

As a public school teacher, it’s just too close to the truth.

It really is true that more and more parents do not want to rear their own children, but have someone else do it. We have more and more “children of the state.” What a mess we have. Know any good country to immigrate to?

According to the report, children raised at home were less likely to receive individual adult attention, and were often subjected to ineffective and wildly inconsistent disciplinary measures. The study also found that many parents expressed concerns that, when at home, their children were being teased and bullied by those older than themselves.

Less likely? I’d like to meet these parents and see how many hours they are spending playing Farmville. A teacher with upwards of 40 students is going to offer more “quality time” for my child? It is beyond unfortunate that homeschoolers should be typified by this irresponsible minority.

And there will not be teasing and bullying at school? Come on. I know firsthand thata some 35 years ago, the practice was thriving…I can’t imagine it has decreased. Not from what I’ve seen, and understand about human nature.

“Simply put, it’s not the job of parents to raise these kids,” Dufrense added.

Holy cow. These are alarming statements. Shall we send these inept parents to school??? At this rate, we’ll soon find our children taken from us at birth because the gov’t deems itself better equipped to rear them. :~

Recently our local paper printed an article praising the decision of our school system to serve breakfast to any student who wants it, regardless of income, because it “levels the playing field” for students’ morning work. So I’m paying for people’s kids’ breakfast who could well afford to pay for it themselves - just like I also pay for the big yellow bus that rumbles down our street twice each day to pick up and return the children of people who “manage” to transport their kids to every other optional activity that they choose to be involved in (and pay for). And people accept this like it’s a great thing.

[Charlie] Diane, the Onion News Network is a satire site. This particular article is an exercise in, “What would happen if we reversed homeschooling arguments?” Whereas the majority of people probably look at homeschoolers as a touch odd, the article invites readers to consider the absurdity of excess delegation of parental responsibility to schools.

Thanks for the heads up Charlie. Shows what I know. Never been there before… I guess I need an interpreter for satire. :8)