It is time to stop calling this "adultery" and time to call it what it is, "abuse."

This was my submitted post at the blog. I don’t know whether long posts are accepted or not so I thought to post it here, as well. I have some concerns.

I call this selective outrage by you, Mr. Stetzer. You have some valid points but your posturing is annoying in light of the way you soft-pedaled Jonathan Merritt’s living a lie, getting caught, and then making excuses for his involvement in the perversion of homosexuality. Mr. Merritt is also an abuser, an abuser of people’s trust. But since you feel sorry for him, apparently, he isn’t to be labeled as an abuser, eh? In fact, about personal struggles you, yourself, stated:

“I am thankful that my struggles are not public discussion, but I appreciate Jonathan sharing what he has—and am praying for him in the days ahead.”

Interesting, but now that Jack Schaap’s struggles are part of the public discussion, well what are we to do?

Jack Schaap seems to be the convenient punching bag of the day. Anyone with half-a-wit could see some disaster coming down the tracks along with the already existing disaster that First Baptist of Hammond and HAC was led by this kind of model for decades. (I mean in general and not all of its people, rather its leadership and those members who did prefer its theological ignorance and poor Pastoring/leadership)

Who is circling the wagons, by the way? The church, itself? It does have the right to reserve comment until all the facts are in. As well, those others who might have some reason to speak out because they are in the same circle or close proximity, possibly they are adhering to a Biblical principle on this particular matter:

Proverbs 18:13
If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

Maybe they all do agree, Mr. Stetzer, that what is described is abuse but they wish, instead, to hear all of the facts so they may speak with temperance and fully informed.

And this claim, that the IFB movement has had way too many scandals. Really? Do you know how many IFB churches there are worldwide vs “the scandals”? The percentage, actually, is remarkably low but I will let you do your own research.

For the record, I am not a fundamentalist but I like my truth based on facts, including claims about fundamentalists.

And if you think I am soft on spiritual/power abuse, I have written a very thorough article on the subject at my blog which identifies it and rejects it plainly and which includes reference to Jack Hyles.

So, in light of helping people to be protected from abuse, whether a child, teenager, young adult, middle adult or mature one, I do appreciate that point but it seems like a very big pow-wow is being held both before we hear all the facts and if the facts are what they appear right now, it is to claim the obvious which I see no one denying at this point.

Any legal guys who can help with this?

First of all I consider it abuse when a Pastor (acting in the role of a “counselor”) has sex with a “counselee”.

Now here’s my question. Is there an age of consent threshold in those states?

Now a prediction (and I hope I am wrong): Jack Schaap will be pastoring an IFB church in 2 years.

[Jim]

Now a prediction (and I hope I am wrong): Jack Schaap will be pastoring an IFB church in 2 years.

Probably, if this guy has his way (listen about the 4:30 mark):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtOWU4FOwZ4&feature=youtu.be

“Abuse” is not a word that is defined Biblically, so it is easy to throw it around and inflame emotions, but it gains little.

It may be emotionally satisfying to say Schaap has done something worse than adultery, but that actually runs the risk of diminishing the sheer gross magnitude of and horror of adultery. This article says more about how people’s conscience regarding adultery has been seared than it does about what Schaap has done.

This may legally be abuse of a minor, or it may not. It would be best to let the authorities sort that one out. “Abuse” is a term that typically has the connotations of lawbreaking, so it really is not appropriate or helpful for us to be using that wording.

Morally and Biblically, he’s committed a sin worthy of death, violating one of the Ten Commandments. If we’re going to speak Biblically, then let’s speak Biblically using Biblical terminology. It’s sufficient for what needs to be said. I’d rather see an article that emphasises the horror of adultery than one that says he’s done something more than that.

Jack Schaap was big on using strong language to describe sin (i.e. “drunkeness” instead of alcoholism) but now, when it’s his sin, the language has become softer. Adultery, immorality, and even abuse describe this old man’s use of a young woman for his own pleasure.

I’m getting tired of using the word “fell” as well. These were premeditated acts of his own free will.

Years ago I asked, “Why do people do these things?” An aged saint responded, “Because they want to.”

because it adds a dimension that simple “adultery” does not. Abuse of position, abuse of power, abuse of age, abuse of a an impressionable young girl—even if she were legally over the age of consent. As parents, we don’t even let our 16 year olds choose their colleges by themselves and the government doesn’t recognize them as adults until at least 18. It’s a double standard to assume that they would then somehow be capable of fully consenting to sexual intimacy. This is totally an abusive situation and I think maybe some of the difficulty in seeing it as such comes from not understanding the intrinsic power that an older man holds over a teenage girl.

Any adultery is abuse on many levels.

Seriously Jon, you don’t see any difference between a 42 year old man having an affair with a 39 year old woman who lives next door and a 54 year old pastor having an “affair” with a 16 year old girl in his congregation?

Adultery managed to make it into the Ten Commandments. God commanded the death penalty for it.

We’ve got so much adultery in society that we’ve wimped out on it in the church, so now we have to add all the other things that are wrong to make it seem bad enough.

If she was 50 years old and in his congregation, it would be abuse on almost as many levels as this was. Abuse of his wife, abuse of her family, abuse of trust, abuse of the ministry, abuse of power. So what? It’s adultery. Lots of sinful attitudes and behaviours may have led to it or flowed from it, or come along with it. It’s treachery out of the pits of hell.

Unless you want to make the case that it was rape. But you can have all kinds of legal trouble if you go accusing someone of rape without evidence, so it is, I suppose, safer to talk about “abuse.” But that’s what we’re dancing around. Either he’s guilty of adultery, or he’s guilty of adultery and rape. Where does the Bible define a middle ground called “abuse” between the two?

What do you gain by calling it “abuse,” anyway? It doesn’t change anything. Either way, he’s disqualified himself from ministry forever, marred if not destroyed his marriage, lived a lie, shown his life to be inconsistent with any real faith in Christ, etc. Either way, he has to repent, trust Christ for cleansing and forgiveness, make reparations in any way he can, face up to the sinful attitudes associated with the sin, and begin to rewire his thinking to conform to Scripture and holiness.

From a moral / Biblical perspective perspective, there’s no difference. Legally, there may be, but we really ought to let the authorities work that one through.

I think the added element of the victimization of a young girl under one’s authority makes it ‘worse’ (for lack of a better term) than ‘just plain adultery’.

But it isn’t that the sin is ‘worse’ necessarily, adultery is adultery- just that it has other implications. For starters, it is, as was mentioned, an abuse of a trusted authority.

Compare this to when someone is attacked by a stranger vs someone they know. When it’s a stranger, one is hurt physically, and while an attack can do mental and emotional harm, we don’t take the attack ‘personally’. However, when it is someone we know, the attack is a betrayal, and the wounds are deeply emotional/mental as well as physical.

There are also other implications in the choice of female- not one of the same age, but one who is young and easily manipulated. This is predatory behavior.

So here we have a young woman who has been violated physically, but also emotionally and spiritually by someone she was probably taught to trust and obey. It adds another level. I don’t see any way around that, because it indicates some things about the mind of the person who perpetrated the act.

People are not shocked when an immoral or criminal act happens in or outside of a bar, because that location carries inherent risks that everyone recognizes. On the other hand, we are shocked when violence or immorality occurs at a school or in a church, because those places are supposed to be inherently safe, and in the case of a church, sacred.

as in adulterous abuse or, abusive adultery.

I get what you’re saying… to a point. But I think that the larger issue is that there are actually multiple sins involved. (Adultery+ if you will…) And unless that is acknowledged, there is no way to confess and restore fully. It’s one thing to repent of being unfaithful to your wife and it’s much more layered thing to repent of being unfaithful to your wife and to repent of using your power and position to manipulate and control a young girl. The problem is deeper than simple marital unfaithfulness.

Jon, while I hesitate to get involved deeply in the specifics since I don’t know many details (and don’t care to know), I don’t think that is a helpful distinction to make, if for no other reason than it clouds the issues. You are right on one level. But it doesn’t really matter since this is not two people similar in age, maturity, or life context. It is a someone in a position of authority taking advantage of someone under their authority. Even the proverbial “Gentiles” (who would wink and nod at two married people committing adultery) know this is wrong. As one person was quoted, if this woman was 37, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation, at least in legal terms. But she wasn’t. This is not two co-workers who got cozy over lunch and took the afternoon off. This was a man in a position of spiritual authority and a young woman in a position of spiritual need.

You ask if the Bible has some category other than adultery. I think an argument can be made that it does. The Bible does hold up the treatment of the “widows and orphans,” the disadvantaged,” and “little ones” in a seemingly different category. Furthermore, the Bible has higher expectations of those who are supposed to be spiritually mature, particularly men who are pastors. Furthermore (for a second time), the Bible does seem to indicate that some sins are worthy of greater eternal punishment than other sins, probably connected both to revelation/knowledge (Matt 10:15) and authority (James 3:1).

For these reasons (probably among others), it is not sufficient simply to call this adultery. It is actually beyond adultery, to the abuse of power and authority, the manipulation of an immature mind and affections, the robbing (or at least the further robbing) of the innocence of a child who, as a shepherd, he was called to give an account for (Heb 13:17).

While I am quite sure that you do not minimize the sin involved, I simply do not think it helpful to parse it as you have.

FBI says it’s looking into Indiana pastor’s relationship with teen

The FBI confirmed Friday that it is investigating whether the former pastor of an Indiana megachurch broke any laws during a relationship with a now-17-year-old girl that led to his ouster from First Baptist Church in Hammond. …

“There is an allegation we’re trying to prove or disprove that the pastor crossed state lines and engaged in an improper sexual relationship with an underage female,” said Robert Ramsey, spokesman for the FBI’s office in Merrillville, Ind.

Ramsey said that, under federal law, being underage is defined as someone under 18. The age of consent differs from one state to another.

The teen recently turned 17, around the time that she and the pastor allegedly met at different locations, including over the state border at a Cook County forest preserve, Wilson said.

That by sleeping with a sixteen year old girl, he has not only taken her purity, but he has (probably) set the stage for her to distrust not just pastors, but all men in particular and especially damaged her relationship with God. The consequences of this stretch far beyond the heinousness of ‘just’ breaking his marital vows.

Saying that this is just adultery is like saying that a 10 year old boy ‘gave’ a seventeen year old bully his lunch money. Even if (and I’m not suggesting this happened!) the 16 year old threw herself at Schaap like Potiphar’s wife did, Schaap knew better and should have been able to ‘fend her off’, making it worse than adultery because he went along with the relationship when he knew better.