When Pastors Place Their Nose Where It Doesn’t Belong

Several decades ago as Jay Adams and men like him began writing on the topic of biblical counseling, conservative pastors gained a needed and necessary foothold in the area of the psyche (ψυχή), or care for the soul.

For a decade or so before the birth of what was called nouthetic counseling, conservative churchmen were buying the notion that you could not take the pastor anything dealing with the mind because he simply was not qualified. Thankfully, biblical counseling has restored the right appreciation for the pastor’s role of leadership in the area of mental, emotional and spiritual health vs. idea that only secular psychology can help in the various challenges of anthropology.

A few years ago I noted in my book The Pyramid and the Box: The Decision-Making Process in a Local New Testament Church (Wipf & Stock, 2013), that I was seeing a couple of disturbing trends among ecclesiastical leaders, especially from my perspective as Western Coordinator for Institute of Biblical Leadership (IBL). Some pastors are self-deceived that they are something of a mediator of a theocracy, and in their mind, they are Theo!

In other words because they are “the pastor,” not only are they the resident expert in theology (which often is not the case), but they also are the evangelical version of the local village witch doctor. To switch metaphors, they become very much like a surrogate mother, there to guide you through any and all personal decisions.

When leaders begin to view themselves in this manner, this opens the door to no small amount of unrighteous drama in and around the ministry. Not only is there no biblical evidence that a pastor may legitimately be involved in every decision a family makes, but the Scriptures actually provide a variety of prohibitions against this approach.

In 3 John, Diotrephes was one who liked to dominate and would use his personal leverage if the congregant dared to follow a different way. Peter tells leaders in the church to refrain from “lording it over” those entrusted to them.

Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly; nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock (NKJV, 1 Pet. 5:2–3)

Jesus had a similar prohibition to His followers in Matthew 20:25-26.

But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant.”

The modern day examples of pastors and other ministry leaders, (like the Christian college professor who has never lived outside of the four walls of his institution) who take it on themselves to be the resident expert on everything, are painful to the point of humorous.

There was the pastor who was sure he had more knowledge than the men in his church with considerable expertise at construction, and so because the pastor took over, his involvement ended up costing the church an extra $300,000 they weren’t planning on.

Then there was the pastor who took it upon himself to inject his ideas on the validity of private parental decisions that had no bearing whatsoever on the couples’ spiritual life or ministry life. When the couple went a different way, the good pastor then responded with the most vitriolic letter one could imagine—all because they dared to do something different than the pastor advised.

Then there was the pastor who knew that it could not be God’s will for so and so to take a raise and promotion because it would mean he would lose the chairman of the deacon board to some other ministry.

Then there was the ministry leader that knew better than a parishioner’s podiatrist! Apparently Pastor John (fictional name) had direct insight into the medical prognosis and treatment even though the good parson had never been to medical school!

The fact that these men (and sometimes women) share their views with parishioners who have asked for advice does not make these leaders weirdos. It is probably even appropriate when a pastor offers his insight on a personal matter once in a while without solicitation. The problem is when you have a leader who has a pattern of being the resident (not to mention arrogant), know-it-all.

What is bizarre is how individuals like these stay in positions of leadership. Even more confusing is how otherwise discerning believers stay in ministries with twisted leaders like these. It may indicate that these families simply aren’t discerning.

If it were biblically consistent for the pastor to be the resident expert on everything you face as a believer, you would expect that he would have all the spiritual gifts and be something a kin to a modern-day prophet. However, if you reject the idea of contemporary apostles, you might consider that a leader that acts this way is simply a confused leader (at best)—or at worst an ecclesiastical goof ball! Be discerning, my friends.