Purity Culture Isn’t the Problem

Some would define it around the central premises that Trueman mentions, others would define it around things like purity rings, talking about those who sin sexually as "damaged goods", and pervasive rhetoric about sex being bad in itself. I know multiple couples who had a horrendous time when they got married because they'd absorbed the idea that sex was bad--not just before marriage, bad overall.

One can argue--and I will concede--that this may be only certain "fringes" of the movement, but at the same time, I must note that there were portions of this fringe that affected my family. Thankfully my three married daughters seem to be doing well.

I know multiple couples who had a horrendous time when they got married because they'd absorbed the idea that sex was bad--not just before marriage, bad overall.

Years ago, I was talking with a husband in my small group about these things and I suggested he pray with his wife and specifically thank God for sex. He thought that was odd. I said it is a gift for our pleasure and to bind a couple together. He did. She was pretty shocked to hear him pray that way. Hearing him express to God thanks for it was actually kinda transformative for them. It was like she had been seeing it as something God frowned upon but somehow allowed.

I remember noting in church one time that sex came before the Fall, and thus, in its marital context, was unequivocally good. What shocked me is that one of the septuagenarian matriarchs of the church I was attending at the time seemed to be shocked that I'd said that. I hope that she hadn't merely tolerated that part of her marriage for over half a century!

And then of course you've got the Song of Solomon. It's one of those "if you've actually read the whole Bible, this shouldn't be that complicated" sort of things.