A Godless Fundamentalist: Chapter Eight – Pushing Buttons at Bob Jones University

[AndyE]

I guess there must have been the same sorts of things going on when I was there but that was not the crowd I ran with or had any interaction with, or maybe if I did they just hid it from me, or didn’t flaunt it, or maybe I blocked it out. I can’t believe all the people who just looked the other way. I hardly know what to think….

Andy, it all depended on what you were looking for. If you wanted a Christian environment where your faith could grow, BJU definitely provided that. You were looking for that and found it. I was also there in the early 80’s, and heard plenty about the individuals and even groups of students who were campused, socialed, or expelled, so I knew that there was plenty going on. I can’t speak for you, but I also saw students that were clearly “biding their time,” and were not there because they wanted to be, and I certainly heard plenty of sideways comments that gave me a clue as to where they stood. I suspect that if I had been similarly inclined, the “underside” of BJU culture would have been revealed. Except in a couple cases where I thought I could actually be of help, I went out of my way to avoid interacting in any personal way with those types of students. I kind of saw it as being true to Psalm 1, even if at times I should have been more caring. A proper balance there was beyond my wisdom at the time. I also intentionally “looked the other way” rather than dig into some of the more subtle clues (like the buttons or clothing items John describes). I had enough of my own troubles without asking for any.

Although I wanted a Christian environment, I wasn’t thankful for all the rules at first, and I didn’t see BJU as “heaven on earth.” I made my peace with the rules, since I had agreed to follow them, but it took until later in my college career before I really appreciated what BJU offered in terms of the Christian environment. It was obvious to me even early on that most of the instructors and staff really cared about us and wanted to model the Christian life, and that was a big encouragement to me, especially when I got more frustrated with some of the rules I found stupid or in my opinion, even wrong, like the interracial dating rule. Even more than the rules themselves, it was the way that even rules that were there for practicality were defended as spiritual necessity by some that really annoyed me. But again, when God would point out in my heart that my attitude was even more of the issue, those side issues mostly went away. BJU could truly be what I made of it.

Today, I certainly see BJU, even with its faults at the time, as way more of a positive than a negative. I agree with Pastor Barkman — BJU was way better than what the critics claimed, but not as perfect as its admirers with rose-colored glasses claimed. My memories of what God did for me during those years (in spite of my hard-headedness, and even my hard heart) were good. But any institution made by men, even godly men, can be improved.

As to knowing your children’s hearts — well, you don’t. “Man looketh on the outward appearance…” We can only judge the heart imperfectly. One of my own children gave every indication of being a believer down to spending time with God, discussing spiritual things, wanting to go on mission trips and do things for God (or so it appeared), and even writing some of her personal thoughts about knowing God’s will and getting closer to God. She met someone (at BJU no less) who turned her heart (though perhaps she was already wanting to go away from God), and now she does not consider herself a Christian. I hope and pray that, like John, the godly influences that have been in her life will eventually be used by God to turn her to himself. Pray constantly for your children, as only God knows their hearts.

Dave — I’m sorry to hear that story about your daughter. I will be praying for her. My daughters are teens now and my son is a freshman. They are growing quickly into adulthood — way too quickly! If nothing else, this series has led me to do exactly what you recommend - pray more fervently for my kids.

Dave, I too will be praying for your daughter.

My eldest is only now entering her teenage years, and even after having feasted on God’s mercy and grace, I must confess that I find my faith wavering at times as I think about the power of sin and my kids’ future. All I can do is continue to preach the gospel to them, love them, and lean on your good word, Dave, “Pray constantly for your children, as only God knows their hearts.”

Having been raised in a similar environment as John E, this series really resonates with me. On the topic of praying for our children, one thing that has really stood out to me throughout this series is that I can regulate conformity in my own home in much the same way as John described in the Christian school setting. In the last few years I have worked very hard to not parent my children in such a way that they obey and externally conform because of parentally instilled fear or parental expectations. While we do have discipline and structure in our home, I have wanted my kids to understand their faith must be their own and not mine, and that I am always ready to help them work through issues of faith they may have, no matter what they may be. It’s a lot harder to parent this way, and it’s also hard to stay away from the model of enforcing conformity. I’ve realized that growing up in a Christian home is not enough for me to expect that my kids will automatically turn out well, and that ultimately much of how they turn out is not dependent on me but on their response to God in their own hearts. As others have said, prayer is so important and there are times when I have felt lost as a parent and prayer was truly my only resource.