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What to Do After the Storm, Part 1

Encouragement for Women Whose Husbands Have Fallen Into Pornography

Editor’s Note: The following article contains sensitive subject matter about sexuality. Some material may be inappropriate for children.

by Debi Pryde

You’ve made it through the initial discovery. You’ve made the decision to stay in your marriage and fight for it. You know life will never be the same again, but life does goes on. The routines of everyday living continue—work, school, grocery shopping, housework, cooking, answering the phone. You are going through the motions, and you are giving your best. pryde_shame.jpgBut discouragement and sorrow might still be your constant companions. Perhaps you are looking back instead of looking forward, and you are still mourning over what you might still see as total loss.

Remember, discouragement is always rooted in the way we think—the specific thoughts we center our attention on, the “what ifs” and “if onlys” that crowd out any hope or rays of light. Yes, you may know God’s promises, but they will bring no comfort if your heart refuses to be comforted. Your heart may continue to mourn as though sorrow will somehow soothe the deep wounds that are yet so tender and sore. Oh, dear sister, there is no comfort, no joy, no healing, and no hope in the deep abyss of morbid thoughts and fears.

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Peeled and Healed

I set the lady straight via e-mail—no punches pulled. Just the facts, ma’am. Others were gossiping online about her alleged unethical actions, and I thought she should know about it (after all, I would want to know). I didn’t bother with the whole tact thing. Just typed and hit “send”—grim righteousness without love, clouds without rain, surgery without anesthesia.
keyboardThe false security of my computer screen vanished as the recipient went ballistic, and the e-mail went public. No use to protest, “But she didn’t ask my permission to publish it online.” The feathers have exited the pillow, Elvis has left the building, and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men cannot put the nail back onto the horse’s shoe. My kingdom for a horse … or a bird. “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest” (Ps. 55:6).

I had to apologize to an online group of over 200 people, some of whom I have known (online and/or in person) for five years. If only I had prayed first, taken a few beats (and a few drafts), and then given it a go. Maybe my words would have been more like “apples of gold in pictures of silver” (Prov. 25:11) rather than like the “piercings of a sword” (Prov. 12:18).

432 reads

Goodbye, Blog

Wheaton professor Alan Jacobs has an article in Christianity Today every SI member should read.
“Debate after debate—on almost every site I visit, including the ones devoted to Christianity—either escalates from rational discourse into sneering and name-calling or just bypasses reason altogether and starts with the abuse.”
“The blogosphere is the friend of information but the enemy of thought.”

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