Fundamentalism

Fat Cats

Missourians, stand up and be proud. According to a news release on March 24th, your state may possibly be housing the largest domestic cat in the world. Weighing in at 50 pounds, Iggy boasts a 33-inch waist and consumes 30 pounds of food a week. Although that represents a lot of clumpy litter, the $10,000 that Iggy is looking to win from “Funniest Home Videos” just might deliver him some forgiveness.

I’ve been mulling over in my mind whether our own family cat could procure any kind of cash reward. We acquired Cougar four years ago when several undercover PETA sympathizers, otherwise known as students, were discovered harboring a stray kitten in their campus residence. After receiving the “he goes or you go” ultimatum, the animal lovers skillfully exercised their collegiate gift of sidestepping trouble and pawned the little kitty onto a couple of unsuspecting, completely delighted kids. I recall distinctly not wanting another family pet, but when your toothless wonder of a daughter, along with her supportive big brother, eagerly presents you with a gift that is given by students desiring to do nothing other than to “express their sincere love and appreciation,” you accept it; and then you claim a renewed resolve not to ever be manipulated again. At least not for the next 24 hours.

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