Counseling

Get Guilt out of the Way

Men and women, young and old, rich and poor—they all gathered at the square by the water gate. They wanted to hear the Book of the Law read. Ezra was more than willing and read from dawn to noon while everyone stood with rapt attention. Teachers helped translate and explain words grown unfamiliar after decades of neglect.

As they listened, some began to cry. They heard about the life God had offered His people and understood how badly they had failed to keep the terms of the covenant. They saw why they had been taken into captivity and had only recently returned to ruins and chaos and had struggled to rebuild the walls. And they felt deeply why, even now, they were vassals under a mighty empire.

Soon more were crying, then more. Guilt and shame filled hearts and overflowed in tears.

But Ezra, Nehemiah, and the Levites cut it short. “This is a holy day,” they insisted, “not a time for weeping! Go home and rejoice! Celebrate with good food and drink. Make sure everybody has plenty. This is not a sad day, but a holy day, a time for joy. The joy of the Lord is your strength!” (Neh. 8:9-11, author’s paraphrase.) The people were reluctant, but finally did as they were told.

read more

Dealing with Sexual Abuse in the Church: Advice for Pastors, Part 2

(Read Part 1)

Shepherding the Perpetrator

Pastoring is not for the faint-hearted. It is not for those who shrink back from conflict or those who find it hard to confront. Dealing with sexual predators is not easy. Sometimes you feel like you are staring into the eyes of pure evil. Whether the perpetrator is a member of his church or not, the way a pastor deals with him has the potential to alleviate or aggravate the agony of the victim, protect or expose the church to danger, and bring healing or a cover-up to the perpetrator himself.

First, once a pastor confirms a report of sexual abuse by a victim it is important that he act. Most states have laws that require the reporting of abuse by educators, clergy and others within 24 hours. As I said before, don’t expect miracles from the local authorities. Nevertheless, reporting is the first step. This will probably involve giving an official statement, filling out detailed forms and multiple phone calls with authorities.read more

Dealing with Sexual Abuse in the Church: Advice for Pastors

Recent events have sparked vigorous debate regarding the proper handling of sexual abuse in the church. This essay is not an attempt to directly address a specific incident, but it will certainly intersect well-known incidents at points. While I was pastoring, I dealt with a multitude of sexual abuse cases that occurred both prior to and concurrent with my ministry. The list of tragedies included several rapes of teenagers, gang rape, incest, one entire family of five children molested by the father, and bestiality. While I am certainly not the most experienced person in this regard (not by a long shot), I think I have enough experience to contribute to the conversation.

I feel compelled to write this essay primarily for the younger generation of future pastors. Unless a clear message of what is biblical, right and courageous is sounded, I fear that many of them will enter ministry confused, fearful and uncertain of the proper manner of dealing with sexual abuse. I am afraid that many will swallow the weak excuses for leadership that are often given when pastors fail to properly deal with this terrible phenomenon in the church. Too often believers defend obvious failures of leadership, offer weak excuses, or attempt to bury offenses and hope everybody eventually forgets about them.read more

Sufficiency or No Sufficiency?

NickOfTime

During my years of teaching at Pillsbury Baptist Bible College (1978-1985), I was asked to teach several courses in the area of counseling. I had never had a counseling course in college or seminary. Where would I begin? What resources were available to help construct meaningful courses in various aspects of counseling?

I had come out of seminary convinced of the doctrine of the sole authority of Scripture. I knew that without such an authority, nothing was worth preaching. I spent the first ten years of my ministry anchored to this important truth. There was no doubt in my mind but that the Bible had all the answers for life and living.

Nevertheless, as I planned my courses I began to question the degree to which the Bible actually spoke to this issue. Distracted by the cacophony of voices coming from the psychological world, I found myself being drawn toward some of the more popular psychological systems—especially that of Maslow. It seemed to me that there was at least some validity to what he and other secular psychologists were saying.

Given my earlier commitments, why was I so easily convinced that another resource would give better answers than the Bible? Why have so many other pastors and theologians been so easily persuaded that the perspectives of psychology actually give true answers to the difficult questions of the soul of man?

Part of what motivated me was a striving to become knowledgeable in my field of study and experience. The academic world pushes intellectual mastery, and to stay “alive,” one has to excel. I saw what happened to those who did not excel intellectually, and I was not interested in that!read more

Sola Christus and Counseling

It is pretty basic, if you think about it—but all ministry should be Christ-centered. Preaching, ministry to children, students, and adults. Men’s ministry, women’s ministry. It doesn’t matter what aspect of church life we are considering, the defining characteristic of all we do should be that we know and love and serve Jesus Christ. Every sermon, every lesson, and every song should exalt the Savior. After all, we are New Covenant believers. We are Christians.

All of this is true as well when it comes to counseling. When ministering to another believer in the context of counseling, the goal is not mere behavior modification. Neither is the goal some sort of superficial emotional change. In counseling we seek to help someone change and grow to be more like Christ. To state it another way: we do not just present biblical principles to obey—we present a Person to follow.

At the moment of regeneration (the “birth from above” described by Jesus in John chapter 3), we become new creatures (2 Cor. 5:17). The “old man is crucified” (Rom. 6:6). We have a new nature that loves the things of God—a new heart of flesh instead of stone (Ezek. 36:26-27). This new nature must, no doubt, battle the flesh—that principle of indwelling sin (Rom. 7:15-20) that remains with us until glorification. But as we mature, we are able to understand more and more of God’s Word, and we are able to grow in our ability to draw upon our spiritual resources that enable us to live our lives to the glory of God.read more

Interview with Dr. Jay Adams

 

Image of Competent to Counsel Competent to Counsel
 

Image of Christian Counselor's Manual, The
Christian Counselor’s Manual, The

Image of Theology of Christian Counseling, A
Theology of Christian Counseling, A

Last week I had the opportunity to talk with Dr. Jay Adams and Rev. Donn Arms on the telephone about a range of topics. These included the history and present state of biblical counseling, underlying philosophical and theological principles (such as the unity of truth and sanctification), and a mix of methodological and practical questions (including counseling unbelievers and the role of counseling ministries outside of church oversight).

Part one (30 mins) focuses mainly on the biblical counseling movement and foundational ideas.

Part two (19 mins) delves mostly into methodological and practical matters.read more

CCEF Publishing a Blog

The Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation’s new blog may be found at http://ccef.org/blog

Getting What You Inspect

The Value of Spiritual Accountability

By all appearances, the pastor and his ministry were thriving. New people were visiting, members were growing in their walk with the Lord, and missions was an exciting arm of the church. There was no sign of any problem. Months later, though, the mask was ripped off, and the pastor’s consistent moral failure was revealed. A missionary was spending thousands of Magnifying Glasssupport dollars on lavish personal conveniences. A church member disguised his spiritual apathy and lack of devotion to his wife through years of performance in church events. How do these and many other sinful choices go on for so long without being noticed? While each person is responsible for his own actions, many spiritual battles can be won through loving accountability.

You might have heard the old saying, “You don’t get what you expect; you get what you inspect.” That’s a simple way of describing the process of accountability—a brother or sister in Christ “inspecting” the life of another member of the body. The difference is that in spiritual accountability a truly concerned believer doesn’t just ask questions and then remain uninvolved in the changing process. Accountability leads into discipleship. The whole process is asking a friend the hard questions and then helping each other to walk in the victory Christ offers. In most areas of life, we are held accountable for our actions. Why, then, in our spiritual lives are we are often sadly lacking in our attempts to keep people accountable or even respond in humility to others’ questions of accountability?
read more

The Perfect Counselor

by Debi Pryde

The world has never known a greater preacher than Jesus! There is no other perfect example of teacher, pastor, friend, father, spouse, or brother. He who is called “Wonderful Counselor” is also the perfect pattern for counselors. Who but Jesus could ever set himself up as the highest model of knowledge, wisdom, compassion, patience, or love? Can anyone 753196_tagged_lamb.jpgconstruct or apply an illustration as masterfully as Jesus did? Is there a greater soul-winner we could look to for instruction or inspiration? Have any mastered the ability to aim questions directed at individuals so effectively and wisely as He?

Jesus is the creator and giver of all these good gifts. He is the standard by which we judge success and failure, right and wrong, good and evil. He is the pattern we are to follow in all things that pertain to life and godliness. He is our hero, our God, our King, and our great Captain of the host. He alone is qualified to own our complete devotion, allegiance, and adoration. When we aspire to serve Him in any capacity, He intends for us to seek Him first for instruction and guidance. Our admiration and focus are to be fixed on Him until His pattern and image are permanently etched into our minds. Then and only then can we even begin to discern the acceptable manner in which we are to carry out the Great Commission and minister to others.

“Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen” (Matt. 28:19-20, KJV).

read more

Syndicate content