Pregnant at 18. Hailed by Abortion Foes. Punished by Christian School

[Julie Anne]

Jim, I have nothing but respect for you and your wife on how you have responded to your daughter’s pregnancy. I see nothing but love and grace, yet I also see that you know that it was important for her to face consequences, and we all know the biggest consequence that will last her a lifetime, her baby. I have a blog that deals with spiritual abuse and this situation could easily have caused your daughter to abandon her faith. This situation will cause others who are fence sitters to say, “enough is enough, if this is how Christians deal with a pregnant teen, I’m done!”

I’ve been on the phone with young adults as they cry about how their parents and siblings are shunning them for fill-in-the-blank sin. Our response to sin is so important. It can bring life or death to a situation (emotional, spiritual, and sometimes even physical). Thank you for bringing life to this situation and supporting your daughter. She is one blessed daughter.

[Jim Racke]

This is Maddi’s father and I’d like to share a few thoughts. I’m not a social media user but I understand that Maddi’s story is creating a lot of buzz (both for and against Maddi) among folks that do use it. The first thing I want everyone to understand is that we are not out to make Heritage or it’s leadership look bad. I have dedicated more hours to Heritage over the last eight years than many of you could imagine. Heritage is a special place for me and my family despite what Maddi is experiencing. Heritage is a good school that promotes a lot of the ideals that are important to me as a Christian and that is the reason we entrusted them with the education of our children through their most formidable years.

Second, despite what some may think, Maddi nor her mother and I have ever advocated that she not be disciplined for her actions. My daughter should be held accountable for what she did. Discipline is a necessary piece of the picture but grace and love should be more prominent…that is how restoration takes place. Maddi’s discipline should have occurred shortly after her confession so we could all focus on the restoration and enjoying her senior year. Putting her discipline at the end of the year has only resulted in bitterness and hard feelings. To the detractors, ask yourself how restoration can take place when you put a students punishment at the very end of their high school career. When do you plan to show Maddi the love and grace that is supposed to take place after discipline. Your window of opportunity has unfortunately closed. There are some who have been very supportive of her during this time and they are the ones that will be endeared to her for a lifetime. Those that have not loved her through this will likely be forgotten soon or at the very least you will be the source of bad memories. There are some who have made it clear that Maddi is not welcome there. Maybe it’s because she is a pregnant girl at a Christian school or maybe it’s because they want to send the message that this behavior isn’t tolerated, but either way these folks have failed to represent Christ effectively in this situation.

I have been on the board at Heritage for five years and have been involved in plenty of discipline issues. Unfortunately, this is the first time that I’m aware of that we have not allowed a senior to walk in their graduation because they broke a rule. I have always fought for a balance of discipline, grace and restoration but I don’t see that in Maddi’s case. Heritage has done a good job in the past about not punishing a student in a way that it detracts from their hard work academically but for whatever reason that seems to be absent here.

The last point I want to make is that this issue isn’t just about Heritage. This issue is much bigger than just this small school in Western Maryland. A number of national media outlets want to talk with us but they would not be interested if this issue were just localized to Heritage. This is a national issue and the decision that Heritage made is emblematic of other Christian schools across the country. All too often it is easy just to focus on the discipline aspect of girls like Maddi who made the mistake of having premarital sex. Unfortunately, this sort of approach inadvertently contributes to abortion and even worse, suicide. Maddi briefly considered abortion because of the attitudes from others that she correctly predicted but thankfully she made the right choice in the face of those dire prospects. We are doing all that we can to take Maddi’s story to a national level so that Christian schools are more thoughtful in how Christ would want us to handle these situations…especially with girls like Maddi who have so clearly demonstrated a repentant attitude.

A few last thoughts and I’ll leave you alone. 1) Dave Hobbs and the board at Heritage are good people. I know there are some who want to put all of this on their shoulders but that would not be the Christian way to handle this situation. In the face of my family begging for grace and love for Maddi I will not be hypocritical in calling for anyone to blame all of this on them. I know that deep down they care for Maddi and our family. 2) Lets not forget about the prospective fathers in these cases. In our situation, the father of the baby is very much involved and I’m proud of him for stepping up to this challenge. My advocacy for grace and love extends to these young men too. 3) I hope that this issue causes all of us to think twice about the roles that discipline, grace and restoration play in our lives. All of them are necessary components and they can be extremely effective when used correctly, but as we can see they are very divisive when not used correctly. 4) Most importantly, please pray for Maddi, our family and the rest of those impacted by all of this that we grow from it and above all, we give God the glory for the blessings that we hope this will yield.

Any disputing with the rules should have been done prior to enrollment. I’m sure the family knew (and had accepted) the rules of Harvest Academy. That being the case, this also becomes a submission to authority issue.

You’re sounding Pharisaical. Do you think Jesus would enforce this rule knowing that she had repented? It seems to me he got pretty upset about the Pharisees who were so focused on the law that they missed the real people. Aren’t you doing the same?

Thank you, Jim. I will try to locate the father’s Facebook page so I can pass along my note.

It’s worth noting that Torah law would not punish the girl by stoning, as cases of seduction were dealt with by forcing the man to pay the bride-price whether or not he got to marry her. In that regard, it’s similar to what’s described in 1 Cor. 6 & 7, and for that matter similar to the child support payments that fathers pay today.

Bert’s right - I juxaposed the penalty for adultery with premarital sex. My apologies to all.

And we know this because…? One of the fruits of repentance is a deep sorrow for sin that demonstrates humility and willingness to accept consequences. Objecting to the punishment determined by the school, and engaging in a national crusade to punish the school for daring to issue a level of punishment not approved by the offender looks suspiciously like something short of true repentance. The offender doesn’t get to decide the consequences. This sounds too much like, “And Cain said to the Lord, ‘My punishment is greater than I can bear!’” (Genesis 4:13)

GN, let’s keep in mind that when the punishment was imposed at the time the student confessed her sin, these were the punishments accepted:

• Public, humiliating confession of sin before the whole school
• End of her participation in extracurricular activities, including leadership positions
• 8 am classes with morning sickness, waddling to finals in May
• Not going to her preferred college
• Reduced eligibility for marriage
• 18 years caring for the child and interacting with the father, whether they marry or not

The punishment that is being objected to was imposed, apparently, four months after her initial confession, and is apparently one not inflicted on others. So unless the school board has a really good story on that—they don’t appear to have shared it yet—it appears to be something of a “late hit, 15 yard penalty” situation to which the family rightly objects. Plus, it doesn’t parallel the Biblical penalties in either the Old or New Testaments.

Some schools, he said, might insist pregnant students finish the school year at home. That was one option considered for Ms. Runkles. She took a two-day suspension as the Heritage board — led at the time by her father, Scott — wrestled with her fate.

My friend, Pastor Sam Powell offered this blog article: How Shame Drives Us From Christ

Here is part of it:

There is no biblical warrant for public confession of private sins. And, no, sex before marriage is not a sin against the whole school – or the whole church, for that matter.

Even in the Old Covenant, before the Gospel of Jesus Christ was fully revealed, two kids who got pregnant before marriage was not considered the worst imaginable sin that must be publicly exposed and shamed. The boy was either to provide a dowry and marry the girl. Or if the father thought that marriage was a bad idea, the boy was to provide a dowry and leave town. Neither one was stoned or publicly shamed.

That being said, it might be good for us to remember our first parents after their first sin. Shame drove them into the bushes, hiding from the face of God. It was the voice of God that lovingly drew them out of the bushes. “Adam, where are you?”

They didn’t die. God told them the truth, but he didn’t shame them. Rather, he provided for them coverings, pointing to the perfect sacrifice of His Son, to be revealed in due time. Now that the gospel has been revealed to us, we know that the perfect righteousness of Jesus Christ covers our sin and our shame and brings us out of hiding. That is what being a Christian is. We live openly and honestly, not seeking to cover our shame by shaming others, but by coming again and again to the cross. Why an organization that calls itself Christian would drive sinners into the bushes is beyond my understanding.

The kind of “Christianity” practiced by so many, which publically shames young girls for sin, is not the Christianity of the Bible. Shame is intolerable to the human spirit and must be covered. We have only two options: Cover with fig leaves of our own making, or come to Christ for what he has offered us. When we come to Christ, shame is taken away so that we might stand before God and one another. When we try to cover our own shame, we increase it. We may temporarily feel better, but eventually, the shame returns.

The worst part of what happened to this young woman is that she learned about a false Christ – a Jesus who shames sinners, who turns an angry and harsh face on those who confess and repent, who demands his pound of flesh before he offers peace. She was taught that Jesus first ridicules and gleefully watches us weep before he grudgingly offers forgiveness. She was taught that even after she goes through all of that, Jesus is still ashamed to be seen in public with her. She was taught that Jesus was ashamed to be her God, ashamed of her and her baby!

No wonder the young people are leaving the church in droves! They aren’t leaving the Church of Jesus Christ, they are leaving the Church of the Blind Leaders of the Blind.

Jesus came to call us out of hiding. To offer covering for our shame by taking it upon himself. He came, not to ridicule and mock us, but to bear all of that shame and guilt and take it out of the way, nailing it to the cross.

For he who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one source. That is why he is not ashamed to call them brothers, (Heb 2:11 ESV)

Jesus offers salvation, not shame, to all who come to him in faith. Shame is reserved for those who refuse to come, who refuse to repent. Shame is reserved for the Day of Judgment, but it has no place in the Gospel.

http://www.your4state.com/news/maryland/pregnant-senior-at-heritage-aca…

Here is the web address to send a note to Maddi. I know she would appreciate you contacting her.

http://prolifeamerica.org/message-to-maddi/?src=170522a&msgid=8200170

[G. N. Barkman]

And we know this because…? One of the fruits of repentance is a deep sorrow for sin that demonstrates humility and willingness to accept consequences. Objecting to the punishment determined by the school, and engaging in a national crusade to punish the school for daring to issue a level of punishment not approved by the offender looks suspiciously like something short of true repentance. The offender doesn’t get to decide the consequences. This sounds too much like, “And Cain said to the Lord, ‘My punishment is greater than I can bear!’” (Genesis 4:13)

[Julie Anne]

Thank you, Jim. I will try to locate the father’s Facebook page so I can pass along my note.

http://prolifeamerica.org/message-to-maddi/?src=170522a&msgid=8200170

True. Is having a baby out of wedlock private sin? Was David’s adultery private sin?

I do not understand why premarital-sex-resulting-in-pregnancy is viewed as some sort of ‘unpardonable sin’, especially in light of clear instruction about unrepentant sinfulness that does require shunning:

I Cor. 5:11 But I now have written unto you not to keep company with any man who is called a brother if he is a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner. With such a one you are not even to eat.

Are there any seniors in this girl’s class who would fit any of the above descriptions? Has their punishment been sufficiently meted out? Are they walking in their graduation? There is no call in Scripture for singling out premarital-sex-resulting-in-pregnancy in the way that Christian culture often does, ie this case.

Just to be clear—I’m not saying consequences aren’t ever warranted in cases of premarital-sex-resulting-in-pregnancy, but that there is a strange focus on this particular sin as requiring extra-super-duper consequences. And IMO, it’s totally bogus, hypocritical, and sometimes flat-out creepy.